Hollywood sideshow Sarah Palin got to do a comedy spot on Jay Leno’s new late-night informercial, Why You Should Dump GE Stock, but nobody laughed at her dumb bullshit, which she also didn’t write herself, because come on there are LITTLE PEOPLE to do those write-y things, she’s got shit to steal from the Red Cross Oscar Movie Charity Suite, she’s got reality shows to sell, gonna get her real-estate-mom hair all tarted up and tall again, by one of those fancy West Hollywood hairdressers who will just love her, and her beauty, until she doesn’t tip and then it’s going to be “THAT BITCH,” etc., but anyway when the weary, beaten old people who haven’t yet found the remote saw Sarah Palin do some jokes on the teevee, they heard laughter and delight! SCANDAL.
Fishbowl LA interviews a writer who was actually at the taping in Burbank:
About 70% of the audience was indifferent to Palin and wasn’t reacting to her tepid jokes. Some jokes failed completely according to Stinson. “There were moments when there were crickets,” he says. “I was laughing — this is funny — she’s bombing.”
So by what Witchcraft did Sarah Palin end up with a laughing audience when the show was broadcast?
“We asked him if he thought it was a laugh track put in or just the audience mike turned way up. He told us he thought it was a little of both.” [Fishbowl LA]
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You can see Arlen Specter’s soul dying in that photo.
So when she’s sworn in as presdint, will there be extras lining the mall?
[re=525548]Cicada[/re]: You can see him deciding to turn democrat.
Can’t wait to hear the laugh track at her inauguration.
Even with the augmentation, she got a much weaker response than Shaun White and deafening silence compared with the tsunami for Adam Lambert. The standup bit was just a way to get her off the set without the usual “I know you have to go,” so she wouldn’t have to move down the couch when White appeared or suffer by comparison to Lambert, who was and is way more beauteous than she is.
She might be well advised to do as many comics have before her and get high. Her George Carlin side could emerge.
Hearing tepid jokes is the *entire point* of going to a Leno taping. So she bombed with pretty much the easiest audience ever.
She should have written, “LAUGH, DAMN IT” on her palm and showed it to the audience.
(for the obvious) No, no; they were shouting “Boo-urns”.
Huh, though; you’d think Leno’s audience of old bitters would be among the few people who would find Palin entertaining.
[re=525551]WhatTheHeck[/re]: Shortly after her swearing in people who comment on Wonkette will be shot. For the Troops and the Retards.
I dunno, I laugh at her everyday.
[re=525551]WhatTheHeck[/re]: You betcha! The mall will be lined with bible-thumping wingtards, waving the GOOD BOOK. The invocation will be given by Ted and Beverly LaHaye, and after her swearing in, her opening line will be…”I’ve now also got the nucular codes there in that patriotic chair of the founding fathers up here in this also shining city on a hill, so, are god-fearing, patriotic christians ready to R A P T U R E ?????? And the wingtards, in ecstasy, will go freakin’ nuts.
The end. Of us all.
People say she’s the life of the party
Because she tells a joke or two
Although they might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside it’s not true
So take a good look at her face
You’ll see her smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it’s easy to trace
The laugh tracks of her tears..
She’s way funnier when she does her own material. When they replay one of her classic skits, like “Interview with Katie Couric”, I still laugh till I cry.
Her stand-up was soooo lame that I immediately thought it was a laugh track, because who the hell would find any of those hoary old clunkers (by which I mean her jokes) funny? Then I remembered I was watching Leno — so it could go either way.
[re=525568]x111e7thst[/re]:
Shortly after her swearing in people who comment on Wonkette will be shot.
Thank Gawd
Lipstick onna PEG! That’s what this is! The MSM makes a monkey out of “God” W Bush and now a joker out of the Blessid Vergin! Lipstick onna PEG, that’s what I say!
Personally, I would have dubbed in the Wilhelm Scream: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilhelm_scream
In a related note Jay Leno denies that Palin’s posse made off with most of the Green Room.
[re=525563]BOOBIES![/re]: Now that woulda been FUNNY.
[re=525568]x111e7thst[/re]: Possession of snark will land you in front of a Palin Death Panel, to be followed by your execution in a televised snow machine DEATH RACE.
Stinson better be careful, as he’s likely to wake up with a moosehead in his bed.
sounds like it went like this: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1929403
[re=525575]grevillea[/re]: [re=525574]Extemporanus[/re]: That was dedicated to you.
St.SarahOfThePerpetuallyOffended But will that be enough to get her elected. We’ll just have to wait and see, also. My bet is she will sell her followers to Willard the Mormon at the peak of their value and retire to a white supremacist colony in Idaho.
About 70% of the audience was indifferent to Palin and didn’t react to her tepid jokes. The other 30% were rabid teabagger nutcases who were specially bussed in for the occasion.
They also faked the loud cry of “whoo-hoo-ooo!”, as if the entire audience was sexually aroused, when she walked on the stage; along with the big cheers when the Fonz appeared for the first time in the episode.
So, let me get this straight: Darth Nobama, The Communizer, is going to kill us all with socialized Health Care by only proscribing Marx and/or abortions, and now Palin is making comedy all communisty by throwing in a Welfare Laughtime Safety Net. It used to be, back in the day, that you had comedians EARNING their laughs through hard work and daily churchgoings and now LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID they just MAKE UP politically correct stalin laughter OUT OF MAGIC. Ron Paul for Best Daytime Sitcom, 2012, if we even STILL HAVE COMEDY then.
[re=525589]Extemporanus[/re]: Thanks ‘anus!
[re=525577]Ducksworthy[/re]:
If that happens, I volunteer to go first.
Alright, which one of you rapscallions wrote this gem on the Media Bistro site?
“The Tonight Show set was “sweetened” by the presence of Sarah Palin. That lady is sweeter than sugar candy, and hotter than chili pepper.”
God, it’s like her agent wrote it. “She slices, she dices, she makes julienne fries!”
[re=525590]Ducksworthy[/re]: POTUS does not pay enough for Bible Spice now. She is not gonna take a pay cut.
And she loves being able to spout off whatever comes into her little head without causing an international incident.
[re=525575]grevillea[/re]: Tina Fey killed in that one. That was Tina Fey, right?
Wow, fakery associated with Sarah Palin. Who would have thought?
I have problems believing that even the robots liked Palin. However, this does explain why I have heard laughter when I have turned on Leno’s version of the Tonight Show.
[re=525597]JMP[/re]: Dick-tease for Jesus?
Keep fuckin’ that moose, Sarah!
[re=525588]jetjaguar[/re]: That was awesome! One of the few collegehumor things I’ve enjoyed!
Sigh. Remember when she was a relatively unknown GILF from some far away place? Good times.
[re=525574]Extemporanus[/re]: What a great fit.
I saw the clip on the Daily Show, and I couldn’t hear the laughter. All I could hear was the voice. The Voice. THE VOICE. Noooooooooooooh.
‘Sok. After Operation Exodus gets underway, the “obungo crew” will be forcibly taken out of office in an armed coup, and Mooseburgers will be installed as Supreme Leader, with Sheriff Joe Arpaio as Vice Supreme Leader. It’s all gonna be alright.
Does anyone remember laughter?
There you go again, making fun of the retardeds.
[re=525602]Potater[/re]: Her agent would say, “She is literally hotter than a chili pepper!”
I wonder how much Jay paid her; whatever it was, it was too much. As for Jay’s demographics, when he was beating Letterman, Jay did better with younger viewers. So don’t blame the Boomers for Jay — he beat Letterman by dumbing down the format for idiots of all ages. Those people on “Jaywalking” are his audience. Jack Paar and Steve Allen are rolling over in their graves, no doubt. (Remember always, children, the show that beat “Your Show of Shows” — Sid Caesar with writing by Neil Simon, Woody Allen, Carl Reiner, Larry Gelbart and Mel Brooks — in its time slot and took it off the air: Lawrence Welk. There is no show too stupid for network television.)
You people can make fun of laugh tracks all you want, but just think about how much better Jesus’ last breaths would have been if he’d had a laugh track back when they nailed him to the cross. Yea, I be you didn’t think about that, didja?
I just had this strange thought that maybe Andy Kaufman really isn’t dead and is playing the ultimate joke on the world. It could happen.
That restores my faith a tiny bit in humanity. That routine was so utterly unfunny, I was very despondent about how many laughs she seemed to get.
Is ANYTHING about her genuine (except her boobs) ??
Snark off: I live in a state populated with dickheads and wingtards, usually one and the same. My neighbors are MORE than ready to kill anyone who doesn’t see St. Sarah as divine, and Obama as the black Satan. I despise guns, and don’t own one. I’m honestly thinking about getting one, just to protect myself from the so-called “Christians”. I could NEVER NEVER NEVER speak my mind in a public place, here where I live.
My daughter, an engineering student (mechanical and aeronautical) at the University of Alabama, Huntsville (yes, the crazy-professor-shooter school), works full-time at Walmart, to support herself and get through school. She sent me a text last week, titled, “Wal-Mart Customer Quote of the Day”…”I am not racist…I just hate black people”. My daughter, calm and collected, told the customer, “I can see that, sir”. He said, “you ain’t from around here, are you”? She said, “yes, sir, actually I was born here, but I wasn’t raised to be a bigot…obviously, YOU were”.
I cried. I didn’t get rich with my college education, or do great and wonderful things, but I raised some GREAT kids. I’ll be content with that.
[re=525602]Potater[/re]: [re=525626]comicbookguy[/re]: “The Wasillacrats!”
[re=525633]bobwurst[/re]: Since Jesus was crucified naked, I’m sure there was at least a rim shot.
[re=525593]gurukalehuru[/re]: Sadly enough, it also represents the American public. And us in the 70% should be afraid. Very, very afraid.
You forgot to mention that the writer’s name is Micheal Stinson. And yes, I spelled it the same way he does.
[re=525633]bobwurst[/re]: It’s true that, were it not for the laugh track, I would never have known when to laugh during Small Wonder. So it is a boom for mankind!
[re=525616]petehammer[/re]: I’m hoping that they do one for Ugly Betty next.
[re=525636]St.SarahOfThePerpetuallyOffended[/re]: That’s a great kid! And witty as fuck
I guess there is nothing funny about grifters.
BTW, this is how you do it bitch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk5YJkhizRs
[re=525656]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: She has always been dry as a bone when she cuts the legs out from under someone.
[re=525600]bondwooley[/re]: That’s wriggles in the can. Try to keep up.
[re=525637]Extemporanus[/re]: It’s a family act!
YOU PEOPLE LOVE ME! YOU REALLY LOVE ME!! ALSO!!!!111!!!1
-SP
Sarah’s not going to be raptured; she’s going to be swallowed up by the earth, like the sons of Korah.
The revolution will not be televised without a laugh track.
So Lambert was a guest on the same show?
I would have paid good money to see the look on her face as he performed…or sitting next to her.
She’s icky.
[re=525568]x111e7thst[/re]: Well, at least we’ve been warned. I just hope the retards come for me, because it should be pretty easy to evade them.
It is completely plausible that the sound of chirping crickets is the typical response for Mr. Leno’s advertorial, and thus, the hearty applause one hears with former Gov. Sarah and Mr. Leno and all the other entertaining ha-has is consistent and needs no electronical enhancement.
[re=525575]grevillea[/re]: ““Interview with Katie Couric”, I still laugh till I cry.”
Like watching Junior Bush dodge those shoes in Iraq. Some moments just never lose their funny.
BTW–Why the fuck do only Democrats resign over scandals? This sucks.
[re=525636]St.SarahOfThePerpetuallyOffended[/re]: I haven’t carried a weapon since I left the Army in ’81, but I’m thinking the same thing.
Funny story: While visiting Kentucky (son’s graduation from Cavalry Scout training at Ft. Knox) from California my wife and I got behind two of the locals as they struggled to get through the check out line at the local Piggy Fucker (or whatever the hell the store was named). The checker was a bright young black woman who was being very patient with these crackers. When we (finally) got our turn, I loudly informed our checker that we were from California where white folks move a little quicker than the locals do. I thought she was going to choke laughing.
flownover: Sorry. I was talking about canned laughter/giggles.
Sarah Pailn/Kathy Griffin The Improv 2012
“Hacks Back Whack Cracks with Laughtrack”
[re=525577]Ducksworthy[/re]: Yep. Saves me the trouble of finding one of those cyanide pellets for myself.
Would she be better with meth?
[re=525725]zhubajie[/re]: That last was wishful thinking. I suspect I’d be swallowed by the earth of a mass grave, if I were unwise enough to visit Palin-stan. Remember the old “Jew’s Council”: always keep a bag packed and a stash of cash, so you can flee at a moments notice! Learn Spanish/French, too, ‘cuz the Anglo-Canadians will get tired of you real soon!
Zhu Bajie
Changchun
China
If our Sarah ever gets elected all we have to do is slip over the border to Canadastan or Mexicommieland and keep our heads down for a few months. Then she won’t resign by quitting or something and Vice President Noboby’s-ever-Heard-of will take over and run things fairly quietly and efficiently. Hey, it worked up here in Alaska. It only took two years for the stress of running such a complicated place like Alaska ran her out of office. I give her a month and a half as President. Of course we’re going to have to pat her posse down when they do leave the White House to make sure they aren’t making off with the furnishings…
[re=525577]Ducksworthy[/re]: Shortly after her swearing in people who comment on Wonkette will be shot. But only after they have begged to be shot.
[re=525793]Starrigavan[/re]: How many Niemann-Marcus clothes would it take to conceal the Resolute Desk?
[re=525636]St.SarahOfThePerpetuallyOffended[/re]: Not only is your daughter funny, she’s brave.
[re=525771]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: You better get back to work. Oscar weekend is a big deal for Variety employees, isn’t it?
Bobwurst- Exactly! More levity, less Leviticus. The ultimate crucifixion laugh track would have to be Monty Python’s Life of Brian (so sorry, Mel, try again): “Always look on the bright side of life…doo doo doo doo….”
[re=525551]WhatTheHeck[/re]: Oh, no. They’ll just sort of organize the people who are already there at the mall, lure them over with Sbarro coupons and then film it real quick.
SSOTPO: you should write a book on how to raise chilluns, dear. Good work! (ps. – as I leave in close geographic proximity to your daughter, you should praise God or whatever divine entity you deem trustworthy and give thanks she didn’t get shot…
In some Southern areas, Sarah P. is attaining Messiah status. ‘Course I’m also close to the place where that nut from Bosnia said she saw the Virgin Mary while she was in B’ham getting her sister fixed up medically (no response as to why there was not a miracle from Mary to heal her sister from said ailment)—- now we have a “dedicated miracle spot” with a big official statue and everything on a rural road that is the only way in and out of three major subdivisions of Shelby Co. (don’t even get me started on zoning laws in the weird crazy state of Alabama) that draws thousands from all over the Southeast at certain times of the year, like vampires. — Next up: “I saw Jesus in a taco shell!”
One reason why the locals drink, etc. a lot.
A joke, a tear, a dance.
Show business, guys and gals.
[re=525636]St.SarahOfThePerpetuallyOffended[/re]: You are wrong – you have dome something great and wonderful by raising great kids. Too bad Ms Moose hasn’t done anything so great and wonderful.
Lol is Wonkette the last place on the internet where the comments are just as hilarious as the content?
BTW, I hope peepz are aware the story was debunked as soon as it came out.
The Vatican has announced
that they will send twelve male prostitutes
to help John McCain get erected in Arizona.
You could tell the audience was instructed to laugh beforehand. It was as surreal as Dick Cheney getting laughs in front of a crowd of people on a street corner. Not gonna happen.
The Sarapak Campaign has announced
that next week, the screaming banchees
will descend on the Big Sex Toy Convention,
hoping for lots of free stuff there!
Whoa, Sarah, don’t quit your day job. . . . .Oops.
Wait, in the interview she has the gall to claim victim to not being able to get information out there?! Every GD thing she does or says the media fawns all the fuck over. Jesus, this woman is delusional. Maybe stop doing fuckheaded things like magic markering a mccain hat so the media stick with the script. They obviously are dying to stick with your script.
After her swearing in, I’ll happily shoot myself. (Or move to NZ so can laugh my ass off at the bloody-brained rapturists trashing what’s left of the country.)
I am so glad I could not see it in HD. It would have been that much worse. When does Father Coughlin get his 3 minutes of stand-up?
[re=525563]BOOBIES![/re]: This for the win!
[re=525575]grevillea[/re]: Me too. You free for drinks later?
[re=525645]JMP[/re]: Did you mean “boon” or were oyu thinking of an overhead mic?
[re=525739]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Because Republicans are in The Party of “No.”
Take that, Meg Stapleton!
[re=525793]Starrigavan[/re]: [re=525600]bondwooley[/re]: Um, I hate to put a damper on all this move to Canada talk, but the fence on the Canadian border is not being built by the American government to keep Canadians out.Sorry.
Thanks, John McCain.
To be fair, I did think the part where she said she studied journalism and went to Faux News because of its fairness and balance was hysterical!
They tell jokes on Jay Leno’s programs?
Who knew!
[re=525658]Radiotherapy[/re]: Watch it!
I thought America was The Gov’Nor’s laugh track.
I was going to dump my GE stock but it crapped on me first.
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