• February 8, 2012

So much Eric Massa today, and so many claims of naked penis sightings between him, Rahm Emanuel, Glenn Beck, and a male staffer at a wedding and in the Congressional Showers. Here is a clip from some 2006 campaign movie (when Eric Massa lost, in his first run) where Rahm Emanuel — then head of the DCCC — visits the New York 29th to “inspect” this gay Navy monster. He tells Massa not to be so angry. Who ever likes being told that? Still: Rahm has such a girly voice for THE MOST EVIL MAN IN THE HISTORY OF HELL. [PolitickerNY/Observer]

{ 61 comments }

Crank Tango March 8, 2010 at 4:05 pm

please massa, no more.

Gopherit March 8, 2010 at 4:08 pm

That guy has smelled a lot of things on the battlefield, I’m thinkin’.
DADT.

AxmxZ March 8, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Those two are precious. They should get a regular spot on Real Sex.

PlanetWingnuta March 8, 2010 at 4:09 pm

hmmmmmm angry Rahm penis……….

sezme March 8, 2010 at 4:10 pm

If you listen to the very end, Eric Massa is advised to ‘fuck’ Rahm Emanuel. So… there.

Come here a minute March 8, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Very nice of them to mike up Massa and secretively record, then post, a conversation that one of the powerful guys in your own party thinks is private. Yeah, you’ll go far, Mr. Massa.

Please tell me the resignation has not been rescinded, I cannot take any more of this fun.

SayItWithWookies March 8, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Well, Rahm must be a pretty evil guy if he can get Massa to resign over something as one drunk comment at a wedding. While not being able to change his vote. Okay, none of this makes sense.

RoscoePColtraine March 8, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Rahm’s had it “out for him” all along, I mean he’s been just riding him hard ever since. Guy never really stood a chance. Under these horrible conditions there’s no way he could get away with offering to fuck a male staffer in front of the whole world.

Ewww, also.

Prommie March 8, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Lordy, this guy is hilarious, there was the time he was cited for misconduct in the Navy, he walked in on his cabin-mate, who was masterbating, and as he put it “I smacked him on the thigh and said “you need any help with that thing, let me know.”"

JMP March 8, 2010 at 4:15 pm

It’s good to see that he’s holding his rally in a bar at the beginning; although the liquor could have convinced him to sexually proposition Emanuel.

[re=526647]sezme[/re]: Nah; we know from his earlier speech that he was told to frack Rahm.

Extemporanus March 8, 2010 at 4:15 pm

MAX CLELAND: “You got this far without Rahm Emanuel’s help…FUCK ‘EM.”

Given a choice between Max Cleland and Rahm Emanual, who would you prefer to have out stumping for you?

An Outhouse March 8, 2010 at 4:16 pm

F U RAHM. I AM NOT ANGRY. THIS IS NOT MY ANGRY VOICE. DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MY ANGRY VOICE?

WELL, DO YOU?

FMA March 8, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=526651]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Yes, Rahm has been riding him hard, crawling up his ass, trying to ram this health care business down his throat and get him to reach around the gap and get over his queasiness about…
OK, I ran out of fuel. And that “reach around” part was a bit over the top.

Gopherit March 8, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=526645]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: Rahm Penis smash?

Tommmcatt March 8, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Yes, Congressman, you are far too “fire-y”. You need to learn to mewl and whine. Study the speeches of Harry Reid.

MzNicky March 8, 2010 at 4:20 pm

[re=526656]Extemporanus[/re]: You know you’re going to burn in hell for that remark, don’t you?

Noonan March 8, 2010 at 4:21 pm

[re=526656]Extemporanus[/re]: I see what you did there. Although I guess Rahm qualifies too.

S.Luggo March 8, 2010 at 4:26 pm

“Non, je ne regrette rien,” Mr. Massa tells the camera later.

Extemporanus March 8, 2010 at 4:26 pm

[re=526655]JMP[/re]: That place is owned by Eric’s uncle Al, who opened it after his drive-in was overrun by sweater-wearing hipsters..

norbizness March 8, 2010 at 4:28 pm

He’s only one “N” away from being an anagram for an infamous Seinfeld proctologist license plate.

Scaggsville guy March 8, 2010 at 4:28 pm

“I never had an admiral on my ship who wasn’t inspecting me.”

Why does everything he says come out sounding gay?

And BTW Eric, these admirals who were always inspecting you, did this happen a million years ago before you got fat and balding and developed that horrendous loudmouth Hillary-esque accent?

Come here a minute March 8, 2010 at 4:28 pm

[re=526656]Extemporanus[/re]: Max beats Rahm in stumping 3 to 1. (Two legs and an arm vs. one paltry finger.)

DustBowlBlues March 8, 2010 at 4:30 pm

[re=526643]Gopherit[/re]: DADT.

Can you tell me what this means, or is it so nasty I have to find it on the Urban Dic?

Extemporanus March 8, 2010 at 4:32 pm

[re=526670]Come here a minute[/re]: Rahm Emanuel is 2.8 times the man Max Cleland will ever be.

Crank Tango March 8, 2010 at 4:32 pm

[re=526658]FMA[/re]: perhaps you could try “reaching around the aisle in bi-partisanship”?

DustBowlBlues March 8, 2010 at 4:35 pm

I’m a loyal liberal Democrat and would actually love to think someone in the party would be so pushy and mean about the Democratic agenda.

On the other hand, I understand how the naked, finger in the chest encounter could be taken wrong. So, as a loyal D, next time naked Rahm feels the need to climb into the shower with another Democrat, well, I’m willing to make the sacrifice. Air Force One can airlift him to the Dust Bowl in no time.

Aurelio March 8, 2010 at 4:35 pm

THAT is some amazing footage. I especially liked Rahm “Nine Fingers” Emanuel’s remark, “You gotta raise $200,000 a month for four months…So don’t let your family down….You have to smile. Have fun.

Sure, Ron. This advice makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

pattycake March 8, 2010 at 4:36 pm

[re=526672]DustBowlBlues[/re]: don’t ask, he won’t tell. (Hint.)

Aurelio March 8, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Ron, Rahm, what’s the difference?

Aurelio March 8, 2010 at 4:39 pm

I’m willing to make the sacrifice.
You gotta be kidding. Oh, right. This is a place where we are all kidding….Aren’t we?

DustBowlBlues March 8, 2010 at 4:43 pm

[re=526685]pattycake[/re]: Shit. That’s so simple I’m hanging my head in shame. Of course. As penance, next time someone has to poke this crazy admiral guy or whatever he is, I’ll volunteer.

This does not void my offer to shower nekkid with Rahm Emmanuel, however.

DustBowlBlues March 8, 2010 at 4:46 pm

[re=526687]Aurelio[/re]: No, no. I think Rahm’s hot, in an angry, liberal jew kind of way. Politician hot. Not movie star hot.

Oh, and I’m a woman. So this isn’t a gay hookup, in case this appears in a pretend, online newspaper somewhere. My gaydar signals R is straight. Straight, angry and hot.

Crank Tango March 8, 2010 at 4:47 pm

[re=526652]Prommie[/re]: “You literally can’t move two people in that room … without getting into each others’ knickers”

LITERALLY.

Is March closet month or something?

V572625694 March 8, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Who’s the owner of that great rack who walks in front of Rahm at 3:26? Is it the daughter who tells Daddy Massa, “You’re always angry” in a perfect are-you-fuckin-kiddin-me tone?

[re=526655]JMP[/re]: Rolling Rock and Old Milwaukee: It’s like the Bad Beer Bar.

JMP March 8, 2010 at 4:49 pm

[re=526667]Extemporanus[/re]: Huh, that’s at least two Happy Days references in the comments in one day. Well, bringing it up does feel so right, it can’t be wrong, while we’re rockin’ and rollin’ all week long…

JMP March 8, 2010 at 4:54 pm

[re=526693]Crank Tango[/re]: March: it stays in like a lamb, then comes out like a lion. A lion costumed like the performers in “Cats”.

Voyou Charmant March 8, 2010 at 4:54 pm

I like this guy. Let him make fucking people jokes all he wants; I’ll buy the drinks.

President Beeblebrox March 8, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Wait, I can’t keep all the gay politicians straight (har, har) today.

Did anyone notice that the anti-gay CA state senator type who was arrested last week for DUI with a guy in his car outside a gay niteclub had his very own I am a Gay American” moment today?

Actually, he pussied out. It was literally a “Well, I am gay” moment. No teary-eyed wife at his side, no mysterious Israeli homeland-security czar on the side…

DustBowlBlues March 8, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Who’s seen The Thick of It or In The Loop? Supposedly, Malcolm Tucker is that Alistair Campbell (is that the name? Blair’s brain?) But actually, he’s much more Rahm Emmanuel. Malcolm would walk into any shower anywhere and stick his finger in anyone’s chest. He’s one of the best political figures ever created. And wicked funny. Gina McKee’s calm demeanor while Malcolm was screaming esp. creative obscenities at her was so worth Best Supporting Actress.

As was James Gandolfini’s explanation, using a pink calculator, of the number of troops you need to go to war and the number you need alive when it’s over, so people will think we won.

Maybe it should have gotten the Oscar. Or at least been in the top ten.

sati demise March 8, 2010 at 4:56 pm

He seems to like the beard sitting next to him in the bar……Rahm is not his type.

bago March 8, 2010 at 4:56 pm

[re=526670]Come here a minute[/re]: Epic Win!

S.Luggo March 8, 2010 at 5:06 pm

[re=526700]President Beeblebrox[/re]:
Please. The Republican Party is much more than closeted gays. It’s a big tent:
http://www.northcountrygazette.org/2010/03/07/ortloff_sentencing/

March 7, 2010
PLATTSBURGH, [NY] —-After repeated delays, former Assemblyman and commissioner of the state Parole Board George “Chris” Ortloff is scheduled to be sentenced Monday.

Ortloff, 61, a former 20-year Republican [NYS] Assemblyman from Plattsburgh, has been awaiting sentencing on his December 2008 guilty plea to a felony count of enticement of minors after he was caught during the fall of 2008 in a sting operation, communicating over the Internet, trying to set up sexual liaisons with two underaged females with a person he thought was the girls’ mother.

SlipperyDick March 8, 2010 at 5:06 pm

I haven’t seen a smile like Rham’s since Katharine Ross in Stepford Wives. No wonder he’s Barry’s go to bitch.

Extemporanus March 8, 2010 at 5:06 pm

I just noticed that the letter “I” in “Eric” on Massa’s campaign sign appears to be ejaculating in the direction of his very own face.

Coincidence?

Crank Tango March 8, 2010 at 5:10 pm

[re=526698]JMP[/re]: I had totally forgotten learning that in school. And in South Africa, it comes in like one kind of lion and leaves like another kind of lion.
[re=526700]President Beeblebrox[/re]:

He’s a total asshole but compared to all the other closeted republicans, and well all of them, he actually had the balls to admit it. He had those balls jammed in some teenage [insert hip male prostitute term here]‘s mouth, but still.

Extemporanus March 8, 2010 at 5:13 pm

[re=526662]MzNicky[/re]: Don’t be jealous. We can’t all visit Rahm at work.

[re=526663]Noonan[/re]: My nub, exactly.

[re=526696]JMP[/re]: AAAYYY! I was in my “office” and missed the other one. Was a shark involved?

JMP March 8, 2010 at 5:20 pm

[re=526728]Extemporanus[/re]: No; mention of Scott Baio’s recent racism in the racism thread. Um, the first one.

S.Luggo March 8, 2010 at 5:23 pm

[re=526725]Crank Tango[/re]: Roy “Le Cage” Ashburn fessed up only when cornered. And his candor has its limits:
http://www.fox40.com/news/headlines/ktxl-news-royashburn-write3-0309,0,5284542.story

“Today’s confirmation by the Senator [Ashburn] of his sexual orientation comes amid controversy that Ashburn’s personal life conflicted with his voting record. The Republican Senator has voted down every equal rights issue, including a bill that would commemorate gay rights activist Harvey Milk with a statewide holiday on his birthday, and a 2008 bill that would expand anti-discrimination laws to include those with differing sexual orientations.

The Senator defended his voting record by stating he intended to keep his personal life separate from what he felt were the interests of his constituents from the district he represented.”
****
Interest of his constituents. Sure.

GOPCrusher March 8, 2010 at 5:34 pm

This thing reminds me of the Hatfield-McCoy penis feud.

lochnessmonster March 8, 2010 at 5:42 pm

“Congressional showers” No amount of bathing could get the bunch that currently is in DC clean…

Extemporanus March 8, 2010 at 5:45 pm

[re=526740]JMP[/re]: That was weird. I replied to you in this thread with a comment very similar to the one you left in the other thread, but which I didn’t see.

I feel like a total Potsie.

Aurelio March 8, 2010 at 5:55 pm

[re=526692]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I think Rahm’s hot. I’ll bet that finger has something to do with it. You know, the one with the stump.

Maus March 8, 2010 at 5:56 pm

[re=526682]DustBowlBlues[/re]: “I’m a loyal liberal Democrat and would actually love to think someone in the party would be so pushy and mean about the Democratic agenda.”

Reps love their Dems like they love their women. Quiet and servile.

Maus March 8, 2010 at 5:57 pm

Anything else drives them to the vapors, tut-tutting about how so and so doesn’t know their place.

bitchincamaro March 8, 2010 at 6:23 pm

I thought I had seen every episode of The Office, but I guess I missed this one. Michael Scott is soooo angry.

Larry McAwful March 8, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Is his daughter available? I don’t remember when he announced it.

MzNicky March 8, 2010 at 8:05 pm

[re=526692]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Oh YES Rahm is hot. You are not alone in your standing in line to have his half-finger or whatever poked into your chest or whatever.

radically-raw March 8, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Massa is just mad that Rahm didn’t poke him in the *ss rather than the chest.
http://www.radically-raw.com

JMP March 8, 2010 at 8:10 pm

[re=526776]Extemporanus[/re]: Then sit on it!

President Beeblebrox March 8, 2010 at 8:16 pm

[re=526719]S.Luggo[/re]: With a name like George “Chris”, I’m surprised he didn’t get caught sooner.

Rachel Ray Jihad March 8, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Wikipedia page on Eric Massa: “New York state law does not require that a special election be held to fill Massa’s seat…” Good news for Rahm! He doesn’t need to be elected!

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