An important new study from a company that arranges sex-cheating partners says the top married women whores are real-estate agents, secretaries, nurses, “stay at home moms” and teachers at the top spot, exactly like everybody already knew. The top married men whores are engineers (?!), real estate agents, lawyers, cops and doctors — again, exactly like everybody already knew, except for the “engineers” part.
What do engineers consider “cheating,” anyway? Crying while watching Wall-E? Glancing at a girl?
Anyway, politicians are noticeably absent from this list, because politicians don’t need a sex-cheating website to help them, because that’s what lobbyists are for, for politicians to fuck all the time in super-gross ways. [Yahoo News]
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Gee. Mr. Layne, they left out that the top cheating whores who get arrested soliciting sex in public men’s rooms are Republican legislators.
Lobbyists deserve what they get but I suspect the real reason that Washington politicians don’t use Ashley Madison is that the C street house doesn’t have internet.
“Stay at home moms”? No, cheaters’ website, the correct term is “horny housewives”.
The engineers part is simple – the survey was based on sign-ups, people who are looking to cheat; it says nothing about their actually finding someone willing to have an affair with them.
correction: The top married men whores reported their professions as engineers, real estate agents, lawyers, cops and doctors. Just like all the other sales managers, accountants, lube techs and waiters at the bar would tell you.
No man cares what a woman does when all they’re looking for is a hookup.
Mr Layne, as a member of the tiny Wonkette engineering community, I have to object. I’ve known of more than several injinears doing the horizontal with the ladies who are clearly not their wives. Over worked, well paid and working long hours with females = any port in a horny storm.
It’s definitely not our looks or personalities…
Engineers topped the list because of their experience with pulling trains.
“The top married men whores are engineers (?!)”
Hey, it gets lonely driving those trains.
Dammit, extemp beat me to it.
I must have been watching too many gown-snarky Oscar recaps but all I could think is that printed horror she is wearing is like depression in dress form.
I only clicked on this because I thought the headline was “Are you one of America’s *Man* Whores?” and I was sure I’d see some people I knew.
[re=528096]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Agreed! You’re just, like, perpetuating stereotypes, Layne. To make a half-assed sociological point, recent shifts in norms of masculinity have produced a generation of dorks who get more ass than a toilet seat.
There are even girls in engineering programs nowadays. Wow!
Not a legitimate list if “French Presidents” isn’t on it.
What about Cougars?
Engineers will fuck anything, although it’s usually a project plan.
Great to know that corporate America is zeroing in on the all-important sleazebag market.
Politicians weren’t listed because it’s not a job as you don’t actually have to do anything.
As a lawyer (female type), I must say that the lawyer thing is silly, since we are all whores already, cheating or not. Lobbyists, too.
As another member of the Wonkette engineering community I must also object to this list of top married man whore occupations. I have never, nor will ever, cheat on my wife. She has made it very clear that I will be given a violent sex change with an eggbeater and a cheese grater without any anesthetics if caught doing the nasty with anyone else. She has drawings showing the process, very good drawings.
That picture just oozes monogamous marital bliss and family values.
[re=528092]pattycake[/re]: “Just like all the other sales managers, accountants, lube techs and waiters at the bar would tell you…”
Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he’s talkin’ with Davy, who’s still in the Navy
And probably will be for life
“talkin’ with Davy” = buttsecks
Although, really, I’ve had late-night, drug and alcohol-induced arguments over whether Paul was as you described, or wrote novels about real estate. Legalize drugs, goddammit.
I always wanted to be a whore, maybe I shoulda become an engineer. Instead of a phony operating engineer, always derided by the civil engineers as not being actual engineers, though we were the ones left to fix all of their drag n drop fuckups, but they got the awards and bonuses. You know what, just fuck those guys.
[re=528157]Commander Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
That is interesting, as I was shown drawings of a similar description just last night while ‘boning’ another man’s wife. In my case, however, they were used as an arousal aide and not a threat.
As someone who has stopped having sex with engineers, I… well, I just wanted to say that, actually.
[re=528119]Cape Clod[/re]: Can we just make it “European Presidents”? Because Italy, day-am, and even the UK gets into the act with lots of bad-teeth-PM-sexing.
Vitter and wife look like the perfect figurine for a politicians’ wedding cake: frozen rictus-smile on her; him looking resigned to yanking that ball and chain around in public till death or election-loss do them part.
Cops? HA! We don’t need no stinkin’ Ashley Madison. Haven’t you heard of driving while Blonde?
Bloggers are conspicuously absent from the list, mostly because cheating on one’s husband or wife involves leaving the house.
Oh, don’t think I go looking for Blondes just because I’m, uh, near!!!
Being an engineer myself, I would like to say, where the fuck are my whore diamonds?
I slept with a housewife that was married to an engineer…, does that mean I get to check marks?
And lawyers don’t really count. They never have sex, they just fuck people all the time.
No astronauts, firemen or cowboys? Some list.
[re=528178]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:
I recall seeing a posting at one of those dating service web sites that ended with “No Engineers!”
Dearest, if you’re reading this it took place long before I met you. XXXX
The last engineer I had sex with was the sweet-talking son of a preacher man (really). And he was good. Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was.
[re=528203]Katydid[/re]: If the subject is sex with engineers, we should be more precise.
Civil: yes, they are.
Electrical: Total dud.
[re=528194]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Driving while Blonde being akin to driving while Black except “we” get FUCKED in a whole different manner.
Again, I can say that because I’m, uh…..
Fiddlesticks! I guess I’ll be a returning student in E-school next year!
Can we be done with the term “stay at home moms” and get back to calling them homemakers? Pc labels don’t work at all. Instead of being called a fag I get called “gay fag American” like that’s somehow less offensive.
Gigolo school was pretty heavy on the maths.
I like that doctors and nurses are at the top of these lists–it explains why our health-care system is so screwed up. I hope Obama has a few sharp words for them.
Nurses, I understand. But where are cheerleaders and babysitters on the list? The movies that I watch, lead me to believe that they are also connoisseurs of riding the baloney pony. Unless there isn’t a man around, then they seem to be able to entertain each other quite well.
[re=528220]predilectrix[/re]:
Ouch.
If I weren’t married, I’d multiple orgasms that EE stereo type right out of your head Missy, with your permission of course.
[re=528258]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: Worked in a hospital for years. They are oddly sexually charged areas. Woman to man ratio is probably 3 to 1, on the low estimate. Doctors strut around like they have rooster feathers on them. Some nurses are strangely “career” oriented (i.e. they hate nursing and want a spiffy hospital office job in ‘public relations’) so they are constantly sucking up to anybody. The work can be intense and hard sometimes and then other times mind numbingly boring (so you find yourself making out in the visitor bathroom on third shift). Lots of youngish and fit interns and student types and stuff. It happens.
[re=528231]KevinKemp[/re]: I like to call them by the more accurate term of “voluntarily unemployed”.
[re=528220]predilectrix[/re]: Um, maybe this is TMI, but electrical engineers have electrical toys. The end.
[re=528279]Gorillionaire[/re]: I’ve heard some doctors are real stiffs. Yuk yuk yuk.
[re=528302]Katydid[/re]: Oh, fuck me with a generator. Make that “electric toys.”
No pizza delivery man??? Penthouse forum always said those guys got crazy action.
Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll be looking at the site. It seems like hanging around at schools meeting teachers and moms dropping of their kids might have advantages. Schools might be the new singles bars. I am not an engineer.
Of course, God’s a civil engineer because who else would run a sewer through a recreational area?
[re=528108]Joshua Norton[/re]: It looks like she was swallowed whole by a jaguar and then fought her way partway out.
Engineers get on the cheat list because nobody wants to fuck them twice. Not their girlfriends, not their wives, and no prostitutes two times in a row.
Lawyers and cops? Soooo unsurprising. Life is basically like the Wire, except that everyone is McNulty.
What about that time they shot a projectile deep into the lunar surface? That’s basically like fucking the moon. Surely that’s enough to get rocket scientists on that short list of “most insanely consumed day in and day out with boinking.” THEY TRIED TO FUCK THE MOON.
[re=528406]steverino247[/re]: Consider yourself lucky it got diversified that much. Take your modern day chicken for example (aka your small feathery dinosaur friend). One canal fits all.
[re=528108]Joshua Norton[/re]: depression or The Depression? I was going to go with “psychotic episode waiting to happen”, myself.
[re=528279]Gorillionaire[/re]: Heh, just like on the teevee!
Does Ashley Madison give C Street residents a bulk discount?
I made my first stop at a school today. It’s going to be easier to troll for stay-at-home moms than teachers. An indication of willingness would make it easier. I am thinking about wearing dark red letter “A”. I wish there was a universal “I am a willing cheater” sign of some sort. Adult men handing around school campuses might draw some unwanted notice. Maybe the web site is a better choice.
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