No but really, this guy subbing for Glenn Beck on his radio show, “Doc Thompson,” says this in response to the new 10% tanning salon tax.
I would guess that most tanning sessions are from light-skinned Americans. Why would the President of the United Stats of America — a man who says he understands racism, a man who has been confronted with racism — why would he sign such a racist law? Why would he agree to do that? Well now I feel the pain of racism.
Ha ha, he is just trying to mess around with libtards. Well, he still sounds like an idiot, is the problem. And as a ginger, your editor is compelled to say that he feels no racism. PAY UP, PEOPLE CAPABLE OF TANNING AND NOT JUST BURNING TERRIBLY!
(This tanning tax, if you’ll recall, was a last-minute sub Harry Reid included in the Senate bill to replace the much more awesome excise tax on unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Plastic surgeons had something resembling a lobby, so obviously it had to be taken out. And now we have a racist tax, the end.)
[Media Matters via Think Progress]
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{ 66 comments }
Today we are all gingers. Especially Jim.
Fuck that. The REAL Doc Thompson would have reacted with wolverines, a chain gun, and pepper spray, not to mention a bleeding elk’s heart left at Obama’s doorstep.
Boehner weeps.
This tax must make John Boehner think he’s Kunta Kinte.
Really, this is just beyond the pale.
“I think I have thuffered rathism.”
NEEDS MOAR LITHP.
This is the Fuck John Boehner tax. As a very deep brown American, I say yay.
I had a Glenn Beck sub once. Ick. All that pasty white bread and processed cheese.
If we could just figure out a method for taxing stupidity, we’d have the country outta this financial hole in a jiff.
And what’s with that creepy music playing in the background? And the way he speaks oh so slowly? Is this some propagandaish method for hypnotizing listeners?
Today, we are all cast members of Jersey Shore.
Don’t think of it as a tax — think of it as a down payment on your chemo.
“most tanning sessions are *from* light-skinned Americans. Huh? I think this guy must be a beaner, since he doesn’t know English. Just, ya know, cold pretending to be an idiot wingnut.
Yeah, light-skinned Americans don’t really get into tanning that much. It’s more your medium-complected people who CAN tan that use the booth.
This is definitely not the John Boehner tax: anyone can clearly see that Boener’s “tan” came out of a bottle, and was not produced by anything even vaguely resembling photons.
The Situation will not stand for this assault upon our freedoms. Skookie also. Whereas.
[re=544991]SayItWithWookies[/re]: How true it is, the dumb ba$tard has no idea that tanning is a major problem in causing skin cancer. I don’t want to sound mean but does Boehner check with a dermatologist regularly? Hope not.
I’m inclined to agree with Thompson. Pale skinned, freckled whities who are naturally more susceptible to malignant melanoma really should be allowed to hasten the process, amirite? Stupid gubmint, always trying to keep me from dying a relatively long, drawn-out, expensive, painful death.
Fire hoses at Selma, Planet Beach charging $33 instead of $30. . .same shit.
Mr. not-Beck, there is only one Doc Thompson, and you are a substitute for a shitheeled whoreson bastard who’s not fit to eat his shit. If you had any sense of shame, which you clearly are not, you would have the fucking decency to shoot your worthless face for daring to use his name.
Yeah, just like Obama to tax an activity he never has to worry about doing.
Is this supposed to be feigned sincerity or failed sarcasm, I honestly can’t tell?
Hey, my neighbors are outraged by this tax, as they drive their pick-ups to the tanning salon. Dermatologists and cosmetic surgeons make a mint here removing those skin cancers. The circle of life!
Beck’s production team should create a sub-brand to increase the profile of hosts who sub for him. Give them a cute but appropriate name. Perhaps The Tool Bench.
“Well now I feel the pain of racism” Oh cry me a river, honkey.
Yeah, because being charged an extra .80 on a luxury item is equivalent to having dogs & fire hoses set on you, being spit on & lynched. I bet he and Nelson Mandela were separated at birth.
How about happy endings? Are they still tax-free? The communists better not start discriminating against penised Americans.
[re=544994]Lazy Media[/re]: And speaking as another redhead who is physically incapable of tanning, fuck those folks; let them pay a little more. Although the plastic surgery tax would have been better, since it’s mostly rich folks who use it (and thus had the clout to kill it).
[re=544989]sanantonerose[/re]: We’ve got stupidity taxes; they are called the state lotteries. The feds could raise money by getting into that action themselves, however.
What the hell were you doing under your front door?
Man, our boot jacks are worn to nubbins.
Every once in awhile some Bagger type will say something so dumb, so utterly stupid, that you can’t even snark on it, it’s snark-proof. It’s like a black hole of stupidity so powerful that any attempt at trying to even comment on it gets sucked into the vortex. This is one of those
[re=545002]JMP[/re]: Here! Here! Although I was enjoying fantasizing about what the real dearly departed doctor would have done about this heresy.
[re=544983]Magog[/re]: I saw what you did there.
Thompson is right! We Freckled Americans must stand up against this tyranny! No Taxation Without Melanin!
…or we could just use a good sunscreen and go to the beach like everyone else.
You know, with Tiger Woods and David Paterson and Michael Steele (and Junkyard Dog, probably, as well), I thought black men were having the proverbial ‘off year’. But I’m not too sure about white males right now. It’s neck and neck for Fail, is what I’m getting at.
It seems that diseases such as Asperger’s, autism, peanut allergies, and such are fairly recent phenomena. Quite possibly something environmental, maybe all of the chemicals that saturate our daily lives.
What in the hell kind of disease causes people, in a time of instant communication and freely available proven references, to believe in the most idiotic, unfounded, and bizarre ideas? Are there groups of people for whom a certain amount of pesticide or plastic in their diet causes such brain dysfunction? The pundocracy are in it for fame and money but folks who listen to and actually believe this nonsense are a danger to themselves and others.
Therefore I call upon the next healthcare reforms to have not death panels but sanity panels to separate diseased individuals from society. A small written test should suffice. For example:
1. Would you describe the so-called MSM as:
a. liberal if not socialist
b. essentially worthless
c. informative & unbiased
There is only one correct answer here.
This quasi-Beckist Prat could come to an Aussie beach to get a free suntan, and a bit o’ the old cancer, also…
So does this mean that Carrot Top will become the Martin Luther King Jr. for us pasty white people?
[re=545028]chascates[/re]: d. obsolete
Obama doesn’t care about white people!
[re=545024]magic titty[/re]: Don’t worry too much about it. Us whities still have such a shitty batting average that we would still Fail much, much harder then are African counterparts in skulduggery and slimballness.
[re=545028]chascates[/re]: Its b.essential worthless, right? Right?(Did I not not take a hint somewhere or what ?)
My fake tan and monthly Brazillian sugaring are critical to my GMILF capture and retention strategy.
How bad does one have to be to sub for Glenn Beck? Well…now we know. Soon subbing for Glenn: a boy. On a porch. In the country. Playing a banjo.
A tax on body waxing would be discriminatory towards hairy Americans, also too.
Is this what they mean by a RADical agenda????
[re=545039]notreallyhelping[/re]: For that to be possible, someone would have to travel back in time and nab young Glenn Beck himself as he sits in the crook of a tree, wistfully plunking his banjo and eyeing the canoeful of muscular men (and Ned Beatty) cruising below him. And if Glenn-from-the-past then subs for Glenn-from-the-present, won’t that rip a massive hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum?
Today a tax on tanning beds. Tomorrow a tax on truk nutz and beef jerky. I just glad that George Lincoln Rockwell isn’t here to see this.
[re=545024]magic titty[/re]: Um, this is an AWFUL year for white people. Well, the ones with a sense of shame, anyway.
We have a free local “newspaper” that cranks out the same kind of idiotic bullshit and the owner/editor also fancies himself a protege of the good Doctor. WTF.
It is racist. It is racist against idiots.
& just in time for Prom season. Take that, sceny-boppers!
If pale faced, conservative, cheap ass white boy really wants to save some money, he could try going outdoors and tanning for free instead of sitting in his mother’s basement and masturbating to Sarah Palin.
[re=545024]magic titty[/re]: The reddest neck will win.
[re=545107]BOOBIES![/re]: Palin-faced, turning Japanese, I really think so!
Clearly, Tim Robbins’ rapid rightward tilt was responsible for ending his relationship with Susan Sarandon.
Tax on your average pack of smokes: $3
- avg # years it takes to kill you: 30.
Tax on your average tanning session: $1
- avg # years it takes to kill you: 30.
I think those tanners are getting a helluva deal here, and whiny “Doc” is gonna screw it up for them.
* results may vary
[re=545010]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: it’s also rape and slavery. Perhaps a hundred years down the line, white socialites (NOT SOCIALISTSSS) can get their reparations.
[re=545029]Bearbloke[/re]: I spent a lot of time beachgoing when I spent 6 months in OZ long ago (mostly Gold Coast area) and noticed your average 25 year old girl there has the skin of a 50 year old* and your average 50 year old has skin that looks like the bark on an old-growth fir tree.
* Also, no top on her bikini, so there’s that anyway!
[re=544991]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Exactly.
[re=544977]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Absolutely. This pansy is not even worthy to lick Hunter’s boots.
I swear that Rahm, Pelosi, and Reid got together one night for Tequila shots and came up with this idea just to piss of Boehner!
subbing for Bleck? who is Bleck subbing with/for?
Actually it’s all part of the plot to make sure les blanches are easy to spot when it comes time to round them up and ship them to the FEMA camps. Don’t tell anyone.
If the Birtherteatards knew the origins of modern tanning, they’d be apoplectic:
In 1923 French designer, Coco Chanel was seen leaving a nobleman’s yacht with a deep suntan after cruising from Paris to Cannes. Although she later claimed to have stayed out in the sun too long, her tan soon set a fashion trend.
further:
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel Tender is the Night showed off the world of celebrities spending time on the beaches of the French Riviera.
The lumpenproles attempting to join their bougie betters, through melanin-enhancement exercises.
I see a backlash, particularly among the whiter teabaggers, imitating the elite from antiquity:
In Elizabethan England, pale-faced women would even paint blue lines on their skin to make it appear translucent, and women carried parasols to protect themselves when they went outdoors. This fashion trend also became popular in the United States.
So fishbelly white will be declared the new signifier of beauty at the dawn of the Age of Teabagdom! Tax revolt!
[re=545071]AlexisHidell[/re]:
If Glenn-from-the-past then subs for Glenn-from-the-present, I’m confident some hole ripping will occur, yes.
[re=545012]JMP[/re]: Oh, right! I forgot all about the lottery!! *I never play*
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