Here they are, America’s presidents — all of them! All of them. What in the name of “Leo Smoot” is going on here?
As a reward for sitting through that, here’s the android Lincoln at Disneyland having some troubles:
Thanks to Wonkette Operative “Eric G.”
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{ 137 comments }
Unknown? Is that like Other?
Also, no president Palin? For shame!
That V.O. voice is what makes it.
Maybe it was that homeless guy with the golden voice.
Here’s the list…
1. George Washington
2. John Errinson
3. Terry Montrose
4. Hudson McLavoie
5. Jim Stand
6. Bruce K. Tedesco
7. Jimmy Goose
8. Lucas Brokus
9. Plugman M. Tucks
10. Alan Diamond
11. Tex O’Keef
12. Nolan Shack
13. Angus W. Crowe
14. Gepetto Corrigan
15. Liam F. Stitches
16. Jackson Graft
17. Houston van Austin
18. Doug Wobble
19. Geoffrey Risenburg
20. Geoffrey Savinkus
21. Geoffrey Dolby
22/24. Geoffrey Stuckmeyer
23. Geoffrey Simms
25. Governor Mark Whitford
26. Buddy Knox
27. William Jefferson Clinton
28. Joe Montannuk
29. Unknown
30. Daniel Flintstone (Boo!)
31. Bernard H. Stuckey
32. Christopher Tigus
33. Limpton Quick
34. Jonathan T. President
35. Leo Smoot
36. Steven W. Spooner Junior
37. Roy Wizzle
38. Charlie Angel
39. Arck Ack
40. Neill K. Sputterman
41. Oliver Paltrow
42. Sweeney Patch
43. Gary Question
44. Mark Ruth
Good to see Bubba (#27) is getting some work again. Keep him out of trouble.
This reminds me of John Hodgman's list of hobo names in his book.
I really thought he said "Licked Her Quick" instead of "Limpton."
Thank you so much for that list – I thought #38 was "Charlie Daniels," but my son was positive it was "Charlie Angel." We had a steak dinner riding on THAT one.
You won't have old Roy Wizzle to kick around, anymore.
Tippecanoe and Plugman M. Tucks too!
There's way too many Jeffreys in there, all spelling their name wrong.
These are officially the most bad ass names every. I'm using each of this as my performance monicker.
Arck Ack sounds like a dry, painful, hacking cough.
…I have a feeling that one of the teenage kids that run that ride accidentally downloaded the weekly staff schedule into the wrong computer.
…hmmmm, I wonder why "George Washington" is scheduled for 40 hours this week and Im not even on the schedule?!?!?
I'd take April Fools' over Valentine's to occasion a weak joke, but this seems beyond the usual tomfoolery.
It is close to Presidents' Day…
…us hooligan youths and the pranks we pulled on President's Day!?
I just meant, funny to mess up the Presidents on President's Day! But it's not President's Day, so my point is not actually made.
Wit, humor AND sarcasm fail. In my defense, it is Monday, so I'm not at my best.
George Jefferson
Harold Washington
Lincoln Log
Harold Stassen
James Taylor
William "The Refrigerator" Perry
Cleveland Steamer
George Clinton
Mojo Nixon
Dwayne Carter
Not Dwayne "Long, hard, and full of seamen" Carter?
Cleveland Steamer never quit smoking.
Dwight D. Yoakum
William Jefferson Clinton did it for me.
Joe Montana and Unknown
I hate to burst your bubble, but I've watched this stupid show four times now and I've yet to spot Ben Franklin.
"The only President of the United States who was never President of the United States." See? All I know is, everything you know is wrong!
Franklin's phantom presidency was confirmed not only through the work of the Firesign Theatre but also in a singularly absurd episode of "The Office" in which Michael Scott gets into an argument with a Ben Franklin impersonator on this very subject.
Hey, I haven't found Waldo yet, but you don't see me complaining.
Carter rates a belch.
♪♫ "Jefrey", with one 'f', "Jefrey"… ♪♫
First a Mojo Nixon reference and now this. Ahh Pixie-licious!
There are few finer experiences in all of creation than witnessing a teenage Disney employee go wantonly fuck-all on his last day on the job.
This, this right here, this phrase "go wantonly fuck-all," this is my phrase of the day, this will become a permanent part of my repertoire. Thank you, sir.
Definitely fake. Quonsett T Blivens wasn't in there.
Dude, they bogarted at least four of my porn names. Houston van Austin is fucking copyrighted, trademarked, and patented, doncha know.
Houston van Austin™.
Done.
We get it; you figured out how to do the trademark dealie.
30% of all Americans–and 80% of Real Americans–wouldn't be able to point out a single error in that presentation.
That first one – isn't he a dollar bill?
Dollar Bill Wirtz? Former owner of the Blackhawks?
That's not true: the video shows the current President is Black, and we all know that's against the constitution!
"*I* am the Tea Party Leader."
There's a error?
Ah, I remember the Hall of Presidents as a young boy; most boring "ride" in all of Disney World that wasn't in Epcot (It's a Small World wasn't boring so much as painful).
On National Irony Day they were forced to shut down the ride to dredge the channel as the boats were scraping keels due to all the fat keesters. It's a small world, after all.
Before it was installed at Disney, it was at the NY World's Fair for two years.
It has one great feature – air conditioning. Sure, it's not the most exciting ride but you get to sit in air-conditioned comfort for a nice little stretch.
Some poor dummy just got an F on his preznits of the US Americuhs.
Disney has hired Sarah Palin as a consultant? Also?
The grifter would never do it–too many of The Gheys working there, what with that health plan that allows for Their Kind and all. And all those 'Try not to become a fat lazy slobs, kids!' PSA's they run with The FLOTUS on their outlets.
Charlie Angel but none ménage à trois with gals who have legs that run all the way up to their ass?
Getting the names wrong could happen to anyone, sometimes I forgot my own name when I was president.
This was fundie Disney ferchristsakes…where is President Jesus??
The utter silence 'cept for the sniff at the end is only frosting on the cake….
Lincoln bending over backwards was a nice change from Obama bending over forward while the Repigs give it to him up the ass.
Actually, I was rather terrified that either an Aliens-style chestburster was about to emerge through Abe's sternum, or Abe was gonna have to peel off his corneas so he could see you better with his red laser eyes of doom. Uncertain which would have been more freaky.
Where's the part where they have to battle Kiss for control of the amusement park?
Last night I saw Lester Maddox on a TV show with some smart-assed New York Jew.
Well he may be a fool, but he's our fool.
If we think we're better than him we're wrong.
they, but same idea
That anyone would still sit through this creepy show amazes me.
I just sat through it with the wife about a month ago!
(I'm not kidding btw. I was especially interested to hear if there would be any boos or hissing for W or Obama. None. People viewing the robot presidents (<- no apostrophe) were very respectful.)
Domo arigato President Roboto.
No President Ben Dover? No President Anita Dick? No President Ima Weiner?
Dickwad Hams? Harry Baals?
President-elect Matt Stirbait
Yeah, where's Heywood Jablomie?
Mike Hunt? Jack Meyhoff?
The beauty of this stunt is all in the pure dadaism of the names. I have the strange suspicion they were made up on the spot.
No President Amanda Huggenkist, Dick Tador, Yvonne N. Orelle?
Richard Smoker? Seymore Butts?
NEEDS MOAR ROBOT BABIE HEDZ:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed...
Whoa, way creepy. Nice!
We ALL needz moar robot hedz. That was truly truly awful. Triglets deserves better.
If I were to make a hyper-real robot, I'd name it "Rudy." Then it would be the Uncanny Rudy Vallee.
Uh Clem seems to have been busy.
"Cause he broke the president"
What about President Merkin Muffley? or Head of State Mr. Thompson?
I wanna Seymour Butz here!
Hey Pablo! He broke the president !
Don't blame me – I voted for Summer.
Why does the Porridge Bird lay his eggs in the air?
it would be cooler if instead of nodding they did a terrorist fist bump.
Limbo lower now!
Aw, Ken, it's cute how you just jump on any excuse for a trip to Disneyland!
The best part of every Disney trip was climbing out of the cars on "Journey through Inner Space" (AKA "Monsanto") and unplugging the nucleus. Or, in my brother's case, the site of his first make-out (I guess he wins).
I jumped out of the car on the "people mover" and was promptly taken hostage and thrown in the secret security dungeon, it was quite frightening.
And why isn't Nixon a neuro, like in Futurama?
Yeah, and they all rode on the backs of dinosaurs, too, dammit.
President Tedesco? I thought there weren't any Italian named presidents. Or is that one of those Spanish names that sounds Italian?
"Tedesco" is the Italian word for "German." Don't ask why.
Like Tancredo. Right? Amirite?
"Buddy Knox
(crowd guy: 'Buddy!')"
Hey, I laughed.
Is the second video a Disney reenactment of the Lincoln assassination or is it just Abe showing off his limbo moves?
Are you quite sure Android Lincoln is, in fact, Lincoln? It looks a lot like Reagan at the '92 RNC.
I don't know why they booed Daniel Flintstone. Without him, we wouldn't have dinosaur powered anything. A true revolutionary.
stupid Dizney, they forgot President Bartlett.
They forgot Rufus Leaking, O. Blivious and Bea Fuddled.
And our first female president Ima Hogg.
B. Fuddled signed Ole Crazy Eyes' latest on-line petition and now he's receiving daily emails from One-L Michele Bachmann telling him what a great job she's doing.
Was it worth it?
Dick Nixon before he dicks you. That didn't make much sense in 1972, less so now.
That wasn't Lincoln, that was Foster Brooks.
Oh see, that was funny. Foster Brooks………..sheesh, he was my hero for years. In fact for about 17 years I did a pretty good imitation of him whenever I got my drank on.
They need to rename it "Hall of Geoffreys."
Best video and comment thread ever.
Go beat off to a Palin pic you assknuckle.
Radio, I think you may have mistaken hurricane here for one of the other blowhards. Scanned thru his/her/its post history, and no Breitbartian stoopidity showed up in the couple pages I looked at…
But the issue I addressed in the comment is an important one, and at some point, a rational discussion and debate about it must be held.So this is a conversation that needs to take place. But based on the reaction to my comment above, Wonkette is not mature enough right now for that robust dialogue to occur. Until it is ….
Oh fuck, my bad, it's not the first time I've eaten crow.
Job-killing Animatronic Lincoln is another example of oppressive Obama policy that is killing the jobs of real Americans each and every day.
If this President says he is for jobs, why hasn't he required them to use real Lincoln impersonators? You see, he only supports jobs for his ACORN friends.
trolf
You rarely see Lincoln impersonators at those festive Tea Party events. Think about it.
I hope Pres. Tex O’Keef isn't related to James O'Keefe!
Crow: How much Keefe in this movie, anyway?
Tom Servo: Oh, there's MILES O'Keefe!
Good thing Yul Brenner wasn't up there.
All those years studying history and nothing I learned was right. Guess I wasted all that tuition money on the Glenn Beck University/Pancake Flipping Tech School. They even told me the present president was some woman from Alaska. I didn't see any women up there on that stage. Was one of those guys in drag?
Seems nutty alright but mystery solved I think: someone must have accidentally popped in the audio cassette from the exhibit: History's Greatest Popes
Wait, wait! Where were Presidents Michael Hunt, Ignatius Pomeroy Freeley, Harold Balls, Richard Likker, Benjamin Dover and Uriah Alston Boehner? Are we sure this was a teenage employee's prank?
You know, Charle Angel pardoned Roy Wizzle in exchange for being appointed to the Vice Presidency. Those journalists Rupert W. Zugspitze and Jordan Finkelgruber from the Washington Chronicle-Intelligencer almost has the whole deal figured out when Wizzle up and resigned in the middle of the night.
…holy shit, that was hilarious.
The second one is just Lincoln re-enacting his assassination, that's all.
What, no mention of your first Jewish President, Abloe Job?
Robo-Lincolon detests Cyber-Slavery!
They're really socking it to that Spiro Agnew guy. He must work there or something.
Wonkette, you're welcome!
NAEDS MROE JEFREFEYS
Mittens was too stiff to make the cut, I guess. He's Morony, Reagan, and a bag of sacrete all rolled in one.
They forgot Henry Whorehouse. Geez…
Why is it always Lincoln that breaks down?
It has been almost five days and I still love this video.
It's been 38 weeks and I still love this video.
Ah, has it been that long? DH and I were talking about this video with a friend just the other day. Memories…
Today's Nixon article made me think of this, which I linked to, and then while I was here I figured I may as well reread the comments. Memories, indeed.
What if Nixon hadn't been pardoned? Would they still include him in the HoP's? Same for Bubba. And Andrew Jackson. Too many questions…
I may be mistaken, but I believe animatronic President Tedesco just pardoned someone.
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