White guys! Rapping! About Newt Gingrich! In 1994! That is all we can say about this, because we can’t understand anything else about this old campaign ad from the Dukes of Hazzard guy whose congressional seat Newt stole. There should be a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT requiring all political attack ad scripts to be rapped, from now on.
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{ 81 comments }
I'd vote for him.
That was cRAPtastic!
Ben Jones played Cooter in The Dukes of Hazzard, lest we forget (for reals). Cooter was the mechanic who kept the General Lee ship-shape and souped up. To this day, Jones is the most formidable Democratic opposition Newt has ever faced in an election.
Between that role, and this ad, Jones' career in the entertainment business can be officially declared a failure of the first order.
Really, and at least Gopher actually got elected to Congress!
Actually he served two terms.
Remember, if your rap is sick or illin', Newt will leave you.
Man, that was so many of his wives ago!
BA HAHA!!!
You, sir or madam, have just invented a new measure of time with which to replace the shopworn Friedman Unit.
1 Newtwife = as long as it takes for a chronic illness to set in.
Not
The Austin Lounge Lizards did the definitive Newt song.
There should be some kind of youtube rule that 110 seconds of blank screen doesn't count as a video.
There should be a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT requiring all political ads to be rapped by blah people, fer cryin' out loud. Cracker rap just doesn't do it for me.
This exceptionalism got the street cred.
That was refreshing. Do you happen to know any white men that jump?
Fosbury?
Why are there adverts for metal hip recalls when I watch that video? Is there such a thing as "replacement hip" – hop?!
I have a friend who had hip replacement surgery a couple of days ago. If I'd had any beer in my mouth when I read this, it would have been all over my monitor.
Needs more cowbell.
And a lot less dumbbell.
Well, even though it sucked, at least it wasn't a pro-Newt rap.
WTF?
Mint Rmoney sure wishes he could have put this on the air in South Carolina.
So within the same year Justin Beiber was born, Kurt Cobain killed himself, the Eagles got back together, and this commercial happened.
1994 was not a good year for music.
SO, you're saying Kurt Cobain could see the future?
I'm not saying Kurt Cobain could see the future, but isn't it interesting he missed some really shitty years?
Maybe he couldn't stand the thought of spending another day with Courtney Love?
Cooter/Santorum 2016
Rappin' is to politics as James O'Queef is to journalism.
Great…now O'Keefe's going to come out with a video where he's "rapping" about how the Dominion Power keeps the lights on for the blah people simply because they pay their bills.
I think it bears as much comparison to music also, but that might be just me.
What you hear is not a test;
I'm rapping to the boogety beat.
And me, Newt, and my friends
are going to try to beat Romney.
I'm Newt Gingrich, and I upjump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogety beat.
hotel, motel, holiday inn….
If your wife starts acting up, then you trade her in.
hear me talkin bout checkbooks, credit cards
more money than a sucker could ever spend
but i wouldnt give a sucker or a bum from the rucker
not a dime til i made it again
(Mittens has to reply somehow…)
Oh, "Rap" I thought it read "why politicians should be required to RAPE in every campaign…" Newt's all in.
Fox Noise's Greg Kelly can be his running mate.
This makes sense, when I watch the local affiliate here, I often wonder which one is a rapist, which one murders hookers, & which one is looking at child porn on their laptop during breaks.
Is NoNewtsisGoodNewts.com still available?
Newt filled Cooter's slot.
Rapping is a tremendous communication tool, certainly. To be fair to Western civilization, however, we clearly need to make better use of plainsong, sea chanteys, limericks, interpretive dance, and semaphore.
Charades, too, also.
Or at least limericks that don't end the first line with the word "Nantucket".
There was a lobbyist named Gingrich
Whose campaign had not a hitch
Until he did cry
"To the moon we will fly"
That's how the victory became Mitt's
Your move, Vanilla Ice.
Kelly Clarkson said she likes Ron Paul. Keeping his name in mind, I wonder who Vanilla Ice would endorse?
Not Frothy, too frothy.
Newt maybe? Newt looks like he loves Vanilla Ice (Cream).
At first I thought the paper headline read "Newt's brain clouded by bloodclot"– which would explain his erratic behavior, but probably just for a few seconds.
Wasn't 1994 a little bit late for 'not!' ?
You should be glad they were ONLY about 3 years behind the rest of pop culture.
there are still people using that– conservatives usually.
On behalf of the white man, I would like to apologize to the entire world for what you just watched. That video is a crime against humanity.
Mark my words: the day black people or Latinos become the majority in America, they'll be co-opting our County & Western and Soft Rock music in their commercials.
Attack ads against Santorum will feature "Walk This Way" and "Dude Looks Like a Lady." Anti-Perry commercials will feature Kenny Chesney and Buck Owens parodies.
"Kenny Chesney and Buck Owens parodies."
Aren't they already parodies of themselves?
No wonder Newt won that election . . . that ad is way too "hip-hop" and "urban" for the voters of Atlanta's north suburbs.
I can't find the YouTube of it, but here is the lyrics from Newt's reply ad:
Gingrich Is His Name And The Boy Is Comin…
…Straight Outta Georgia
Is A Repub That'll Smother Yo' Mother
And Make Ya Sister Think I Love Her
Dangerous Motherfucker Raises Hell
And If I Ever Get Caught I Make Bail
See, I Don't Give A Fuck, That's The Problem
I See A Motherfuckin Dem I Don't Dodge Him
But I'm Smart, Lay Low, Creep A While
And When I See A Punk Pass, I Smile
To Me It's Kinda Funny, The Attitude Showin A Repub Drivin
But Don't Know Where The Fuck He's Going, Just Rollin
Lookin For The One They Call Gingrich
But Here's A Flash, They Never Seize Me
Ruthless! Never Seen Like A Shadow In The Dark
Except When I Unload, See I'll Get Over The Hesitation
And Hear The Scream Of The One Who Got The Last Penetration
Give A Little Gust Of Wind And I'm Jettin
But Leave A Memory No One'll Be Forgettin
So What About The Bitch Who Got Shot? Fuck Her!
You Think I Give A Damn About A Bitch? I Ain't A Sucker!
This Is The Autobiography Of The G, And If You Ever Fuck With Me
You'll Get Taken By A Stupid Dope Repub Who Will Smother
Word To The Motherfucker, Straight Outta Georgia
Straight out of Georgia, Straight out of Georgia
Upfists ahoy because that really made me laugh!
edit: especially since it's that overcompensating wiener eazy e
I went back and forth between Ice Cube's and Easy E's rap, but the misogyny of E's verse just fit Newt better.
I read the beginning of that post as "White guys! Raping!"
That is all.
Since Wonkette mentioned him talking about idiots and assholes recently, here's my mayor rapping: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3PhVD6-NZ4
If I ever move back east, I am so moving to Philadelphia.
Doesn't "cooter" mean lady parts?
No big deal. The House Majority leader at the time was Dick Gephardt.
Every word in the English language can mean boy parts, lady parts or sexytime … if you say it right. Ya know what I mean, "little big daddy".
Newt's a hooter cooter man.
In Jawja (and Nawth Flahduh) cooter means mud turtle, considered a delicacy by some. It's thought to derive from some West African language.
mos def a delicamacy!
Too soon!
Stop…HAMMER TIME!
HAMMERZEIT
edit: I just watched that video and now feel extremely nauseated.
Sometimes it's like that, comrade, and that's the way it is…
All Queasy on the Eastern Front.
Newt brings out the worst in people, doesn't he?
Needz moar Public Enemy.
Sure it's easy to make fun of primitive rap from the last century. OH WAIT – Newt is from the last century too. So it all fits together.
"Newt brings out the worst in people, doesn't he?"
Like the fear of a black planet.
Rappin' like a samurai
but I'll be damn if I
ever let a Fisher Price emcee hang
their rhymes are toys
nothing but a ying-yang
Why couldn't the ad have been as good as that? Y'all want this party started….
….
….
….
Right?
…
…
…
Does it to you?
OT: Rupert Murdoch's Staff Arrested As Tabloid Scandal Spreads To Second Newspaper
Oooooooooo….
Gah! That Murdoch pic. He looks like he's molting.
Mittens appears to know his limitations, so he won't be rapping. Instead:
Blast from the past: Romney uses vintage video to hit Gingrich http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-pn-past-r...
NBC and Tom Brokaw are pissed…
LAMESTREAMEDIA!!!!!
Proposed 2012 version: "Newt-Nut".
how did the Seinfeld bass player get in their?
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