Donald Trump's Cinco de Mayo Message Less Authentically Mexican Than '¡Yo Quiero Taco Bell!'

Donald Trump so Mexican, y'all:

We are officially dead now. This is the man who says Mexico is sending us all its dirty rapists, and that we need an elegant, gold-plated border wall to keep them out, and that we should have invaded Mexico after 9/11, and ALL THE OTHER SHIT HE HAS SAID ...

[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/donald-trump-wishes-wed-invaded-mexico-for-doing-911-maybe"></a>[/wonkbar]But he loves the authentic Tex-Mex taco bowls they make at Taqueria  la Trump, they are tremendous and terrific and if you put a little authentic Messican Tabasco sauce in them, they're even hotter than his daughter Ivanka. ¡ Si Señor ! Donald Trump just LOVES to take his tenedor and his cuchillo and cram the taco bowl contents into his appleheaded vagina la boca .

And he especially loves saying he loves the Hispanics while he eats his taco bowl on the traditional Hispanic holiday of Cinco de Mayo , when the noble saldados of the nation of Hispanica fought for their independence, a story all patriotic Americans know by heart, especially the ones who have offices in Trump Tower.

(By the way and #HistoryFact, it's not Mexican "independence day" either, you dumb margarita-swilling Americanos .)

We would yell more, but we will just leave you with this commenter on Trump's Facebook, who would like to say some things:

Happy Cinco de Mayo , Wonkette children. Now go out and eat yourself a Trump taco bowl, son  YOOOOOOOGELY excelentes !

[ Dipshit McGee's Facebook ]