Trump Has Some Sort Of Stroke Or Something, Judging By The Words That Just Came Out His Mouth
bing bong!
On his way down to Mar-a-Lago today to pussgrab and chill with the Chinese president, Xi Jinping, Donald Trump said some words. Were they all the best words? Sure, we'll go with "best." Here is what he said, according to this guy on Twitter who claims to be from "NBC News":
BREAKING: Pres Trump on AF1:
"I think we’ve had one of the most successful 13 weeks in the history of the presidency."
That ... I mean ... it ...
Huh.
Okay, let's stipulate that Trump always fudges the numbers, from his net worth to how many stories his buildings have to "No, really, it's four inches." Nonetheless, we should note Trump has been in office a mere 11 weeks, even if they do seem like 17 years. Now let's take a moment to chart out Trump HISTORIC successes in his first 13 weeks (11 weeks) in office.
Had a "historic electoral college landslide victory."
Had the biggest inauguration.
Had the biggest protest march against him (that one is true!).
Had a historic fraud settlement, for historic fraud.
Signed some executive orders; the courts threw them out.
Threatened to invade Mexico; yelled at Australia because it was 5 p.m. and he was "fatigued."
Fired his National Security Adviser for not disclosing he was a literal, actual Foreign Agent.
Inspired FBI investigation into what may turn out to be the biggest presidential scandal ever.
Attorney General had to recuse himself.
Under ethics investigation for leaking information to White House that he got from White House, Chair of White House Intelligence Committee had to recuse himself.
Failed to repeal Obamacare with control of all three branches of government and both chambers of Congress.
Successful? Maybe not. Historic? MOST DEFINITELY.
What did we forget in our list? Tell us in THIS OPEN THREAD!
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Trump claimed he'd been emotionally affected by the video, but exhibited absolutely zero emotion in either his voice or his body language when reading his carefully prepared script from the teleprompters.
It's always been a fantasy of mine to serve a group of fanatical "pro-lifers" eggs instead of the chicken they were expecting and then shoving the boxes under their noses, showing that the eggs were fertile and saying "Since you claim that fertilized human eggs are "babies", how can you possibly say that these eggs aren't chickens?"