ohio
Ohio Gov. John Kasich gave his State of the State speech this week and how did that go, The Hill? “Kasich’s speech was laced with repeated mentions of his wife, Karen Kasich, an impersonation by the governor of someone with severe Parkinson’s disorder, and a reference to Californians as ‘wackadoodles.’” Sounds like it went well. [...]
What are the racist loonballs up to in …let’s see, Ohio this time? Sure, why not give Arizona a quick break? Antiques-collecting landlord lady Jamie Hein of Cincinnati is apparently the sort of person who came to mind when someone wanted to gift a 1931 sign from Alabama that reads “Public Swimming Pool, White Only.” [...]
Immigrants in this country are facing a whole list of problems these days, one of those problems being, of course, the insane people and laws that seek to force them out of their homes. Luckily, the timing on this is perfect, because just as much as immigrants need new, non-threatening places to live, America’s Worst [...]
This Ohio Tea Party group “COAST” (note: Ohio geography fail) would on a normal old wingnut day probably tweet something less terrorism-y and more creative like, “Hitler had sex with dogs on public streetcars, THEY SHUD B DEFUNDED” but, eh, they had to tweet something to celebrate this weekend’s 9/11 holiday tradition of 9/11 political [...]
The GOP of Ohio was having another one of their weekly “drunk, diapered ‘n dominated!” orgies one night recently, and out of the swirl of morning-after shame and closeted self-loathing they decided they’d order a mindless manly piece of man man to… what, run for Congress? Sure, that about compensates. And that is the only [...]
Socialist government pensioners “the police” had to swing by the office of radioactive skin cancer stick John Boehner after someone spotted three rogue suitcases at the door with signs taped to the front of them saying, “jobs” and “oil” and “gas.” But, uh, NO FEAR: the sassy little Mars Rover that the Ohio bomb squad [...]
AND ON THE “LIGHTER SIDE!” As we mentioned last week, Ohio State Senator Jarrod Martin was charged with drunk driving and child endangerment, just another “normal week” for Ohio’s legislative body, at this point. But also fun! Martin is predictably no stranger to idiot middle-of-the-night run-ins with police. There is a litany of dumb facts [...]
Hey, Ohio! From now on it seems, odds are pretty good that the maniac driving like a sloshed fool down the state highway is one of your elected representatives. And don’t ask him why he isn’t wearing a shirt. He’s not wearing a shirt because he’s sweaty, obviously there is a heat wave everyone, which [...]
If you live in Ohio and have a poor sense of direction, you should not bother voting now. Ohio has decided that directing confused people to the correct polls is a terrible hassle, and could result in more votes that need to be counted, which is a chore! Apparently it “is the duty of the [...]
Republican “moral math” alert! Ohio state representative Robert Mecklenborg was arrested for driving around drunk on an Indiana state highway, which is sort of an “anti-life” thing to do, you might say. But just a few days ago, he also voted for the Fetal Heartbeat Bill, one of those fake “pro-life” thingies that Republicans love. Do they [...]
Take heart, angry war fetus! The cranky olds of the Ohio House of Representatives have imaginary-heard your testimony and finally passed their “Fetal Heartbeat Bill,” an unconstitutional law that prohibits abortion after six weeks. In other words, this was a law passed “for fun,” as it has no chance of becoming actual law. Here is [...]
Sarah Palin’s “Alaska” is already gearing up to dismantle all the unions, forever. But what could make this embarrassing ice colony even more American? Probably a law that would prevent Muslims from honor-killing all the delicate white women, legally, in Alaska court! And hooray, this is exactly what some wingnut state representative wants, and he’s [...]
A grotesque 68-year-old car salesman, Republican “young gun” (?!) and failed Senate/House candidate from Ohio has been charged with “three felony charges of gross sexual imposition, and single counts of kidnapping, abduction, solicitation, and menacing by stalking.” Tea Party-endorsed Tom Ganley allegedly attacked a woman from Cleveland and stuck his hands down her pants after [...]
THIS JUST IN: radio station 93.9 WMIA, Feel Good Music With the Best Variety, is reporting that Ohio won’t be swallowed up by Pacific Ocean tsunamis originating on the other side of the globe, according to an official at the oxymoronic “Ohio Seismic Network.” Everyone please immediately make your way to Ohio. It’s the only [...]
