Photo via Gage Skidmore, Wikimedia Commons.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

A federal judge upheld a subpoena by congressional Democrats seeking Trump's financial records AND denied Trump's attempt to stall. Trump and his TV lawyers are now freaking out and throwing tantrums after the judge painstakingly picked apart their legal arguments that the president was above the law, writing that it's a "fundamental" problem. [Morning Maddow]

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! The New York state legislature is expected to fast-track a bill allowing Congress to get their hands on Trump's state tax returns, and Gov. Andrew Cuomo is expected to rubber stamp the bill once it hits his desk.

Trump's White House says that it doesn't want former White House counsel Don McGahn to testify before Congress. They're citing some laughable made-up bullshit by Trump's Roy Cohn, AG Bill Barr, that boils down to old, white male privilege and immunity.

In newly released congressional transcripts, Michael Cohen says Trump's TV attorney, Jay Sekulow, told him to lie to Congress about the Trump Tower Moscow deal back in 2017. According to Cohen, Sekulow urged Cohen to "Stay on Message" and downplay that the real estate deal was still in the works up to the Iowa caucuses in January of 2016. Cohen adds that he and Sekulow had discussed a pardon "quite a few" times, including a "pre-pardon." In addition, Cohen says the deal would have required the approval of Russian President Vladimir Putin because Trump was (in essence) ripping off the Russians in licensing the Trump name for the building. In their defense, Sekulow and a squad of lawyers repping the Trump family call Cohen a liar. I'm not a lawyer, but this sounds bad!

Former FBI deputy director Andy McCabe had Peter Strzok reassigned in July of 2017 in order to protect the Mueller investigation, according to new transcripts of a Dec. 2017 interview with members of the House Judiciary and Oversight Committees. For his part, Strzok says that his anti-Trump sexts during his investigation of HER EMAILS were something Mueller worried might come out as it would look kind of shitty.

Politico made some poor wretch watch hours of old Robert Mueller videos on C-SPAN. The big takeaway is if (and when) the House is able to haul Mueller's ass up to the Hill you should grab some popcorn and get ready for Eagle Scout to methodically explain bureaucracy.

Congressional Republicans are growing increasingly butthurt over Trump's Nixonian belief that when the president does it, it's not illegal. They're not exactly signing on with those Democrats calling to #IMPEACH, but they do think Congress has a right to investigate. For her part, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is cracking the whip on the growing Impeachment Caucus, arguing that these whipper snappers need to calm the fuck down and follow due process. "This isn't about politics at all," Pelosi says, according to Politico, "It's about patriotism."

Trump's DHS is considering a plan to literally pinch your pennies to build Trump's goddamn wall. NBC News reports that if Congress doesn't give it any money, it's going to order the TSA to start stealing the loose change left in airport screening trays.

During an interview on Ari Melber's show, 2020 Democratic candidate Sen. Kamala Harris announced she would back independent investigations of police shootings "from the first moments of the incident so that we can be certain and sure that there has been a thorough investigation that is not informed by bias, and so that there will be justice for all of the people concerned." [Full Interview]

By courting all the super rich and puss-grabbing SOBs, the RNC outraised the DNC in April. In a related story, Trump's 2020 team is dropping tens of millions of Ameros on Facebook ads to target old white ladies.

The Trump campaign's 2020 headquarters is on the 14th floor of a posh office in an extra douchey and ritzy part of Northern Virginia. Too bad they might have violated election laws (again) in cutting a "bargain basement" deal by subleasing the space from the current owners.

Anti-vaxxers are flocking to areas suffering from an outbreak of the measles. Hopefully they'll all win Darwin Awards.

A number of prosecutors in Georgia are signaling that they have no intention of bringing charges against women who get abortions following the passage of the state's fetal heartbeat bill. In addition, some Atlanta area DAs say they really don't give a shit if doctors perform abortions either. The way they see it, these abortion bans are unconstitutional, and all these Jesus freaks can go fuck off on a cross.

After South Bend Mayor and 2020 Democratic candidate Pete Buttigeieg called Fox News's opinion hosts a bunch of filthy garbage monsters, they all dedicated a portion of their shows to rolling around in their own shit. You stay classy.

The English have a new tradition: throwing milkshakes at Brexiters and fascists.

And here's your morning Nice Time: A WATER DOGGO!

Swim therapy with Sterling the elderly seal

Follow Dominic on Twitter and Instagram!

We're 100% ad-free and reader-supported, so consider buying us coffee, or get a subscription!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc