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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Several courts ruled against Trump's attempt to hide his tax records and funny money documents. BUT IT GETS BETTER! The House Financial Services Committee has already gotten its hands on Trump's financial records from NINE different financial institutions, including Wells Fargo and TD Bank. Maxine Waters is reclaiming more than just her time!

REXXON sat down with House Democrats for SEVEN HOURS and spilled his guts like he had Montezuma's Revenge (again). Of all the juicy details REXXON revealed, it turns out Trump didn't know doodly squat when he sat down with Russian dictator President Vladimir Putin in Hamburg, Germany, back in 2017. REXXON didn't necessarily throw Trump under the bus, but when he was asked to describe Trump's values, REXXON replied, "I cannot," later adding, "The president speaks for himself." In response, Trump shitposted that REXXON was, "dumb as a rock."

Republicans in North Carolina are getting ready to knife fight for the seat of Sen. Thom Tillis, and there's concern among GOP leadership that a Tea Party/pro-Trump primary challenge to Tillis could not only screw Trump in 2020, but make for (another) embarrassing convention. SAD!

SCANDAL! Elizabeth Warren made money as a lawyer while she was a teacher!

Yesterday the Pentagon announced it will lend DHS more tent cities to house AT LEAST 7,500 Mexican Muslim taco truck drivers seeking asylum on the southern border.

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin is keeping Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill so that Trump doesn't get pissed off and kill the Obama-era initiative to replace the genocidal slave owner with abolitionist, Union spy, and all around badass woman Harriet Tubman.

Interior Secretary David Bernhardt told a Senate appropriations subcommittee that "it's completely legal" for political appointees to weigh in on FOIA requests when they deal with those same officials. Policy wonks and legal nerds think Bernhardt's not technically wrong since nobody has ever dared to be such a snakey asshole, and that this is yet another Trump World policy destined for the courts.

After everyone bitched out HUD Secretary Ben Carson's inability to differentiate Oreos and REOs, yesterday HUD announced it would roll back protections for transgender homeless people. Politico notes that it was only Tuesday that Carson told Rep. Jennifer Wexton that he was "not currently anticipating" the rule change, prompting Rep. Wexton to say, "The announcement today that HUD will now allow anti-trans discrimination in shelters demonstrates that he either lied to Congress or has no idea what policies his agency is pursuing. Either way, it's unacceptable."

SURPRISE! Thanks to the administration's incompetence and apathy, the opioid crisis may actually be getting worse. WaPo has a super huge story with fancy infographics showing how the administration has been screwing hillbilly heroin users while it tries to kill Obamacare and imprison addicts. Maybe putting Kellyanne Conway in charge was a bad idea? #MAGA

All seven members of Chicago's school board have resigned so as to allow the new mayor, Lori Lightfoot, to appoint her own board. The resignation of the school board happens as state legislators (finally!) make a push for an elected school board in Chicago. It's a big deal for public schools in Chicago -- they were royally screwed under former mayor Rahm Emanuel, and have historically been controlled by a combination of grifters and The Machine.

Iranian hardliners hoping to goad the US into a shooting war have been restrained by Iranian religious and political leaders who would rather not see the Middle East get bombed into glass. Pentagon brass will head to the White House later today with a plan to send up 10,000 more troops to the Middle East in order to scare some assholes straight, or start another war. It's really 50-50 at this point after Senate Republicans killed an attempt rein in war powers leaving Democratic Sen. Tom Udall to say to Roll Call, "At the end of this week, we're going on break ... When we return, we could be in the middle of a war."

The military brass is pushing back against Trump's plans to pardon military members and mercenaries suspected of war crimes. Apparently the inner rings of the Pentagon think it's bad to tell Not America that we're cool with our soldiers (ALLEGEDLY) murdering innocent women and children in war zones. In a related story, the trial of the worst of these assholes, Navy Special Operations Chief Edward Gallagher, has been put on hold over allegations that prosecutors were illegally spying on defense attorneys and a journalist and also withholding information from the judge.

Facebook says it will no longer offer incentives for its sales weasels to push political ads. Facebook WAS considering getting out of the business of political ads altogether, but Mark Zuckerberg decided he was making way too much money. So what if Facebook's political ads are creating instability all over the world and giving a voice to racists and fascists?

Trump's trade war continues to suck up large wads of cash from both US and Asian markets as investors worry about the threat of rising populism ahead of European elections and the complete fucking stupidity of Brexiteers. Compounding these issues are rumors that British Prime Minister Theresa May will either resign or be forced out within the next few days.

One of the strangest things about Trump's trade war is how it's affecting the tech world. Last night Trevor Noah 'splained 5G wireless, how it connects to Trump's trade war, and why some geeks have taken to calling it the new space race.

If You Don't Know, Now You Know: 5G | The Daily Show www.youtube.com

Samantha Bee 'splained how digital and print news outlets are dying, and went on an anti-capitalist rant about respected legacy newspapers being bought by "dildo shaped sugar daddies," and screwed by Mark Zuckerberg. STOP TAKING JOURNALISM FOR GRANTED AND (GIVE US MONEY)!!!

Journalism's Corporate Sponsors | May 22, 2019 Act 2 | Full Frontal on TBS www.youtube.com

And here's your morning Nice Time: BABY GOATS!

Training for Running of the Goats www.youtube.com

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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