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WALL Vomit Blorb Hurckle Plompf. WALL. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 8, 2019

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Trump World is pushing back against that DHS Inspector General's report from last week, and an even more in-depth investigation by The El Paso Times and New York Times from this weekend that found concentration camps baby jails on the southern border are overflowing with staving and crying children infected with chickenpox, scabies, and shingles, and have no access to proper medical care. In an appearance on ABC's this week, ACTING director of Homeland Security Kevin McAleenan said, "For over a year there's been showers," and that there's "adequate" food and water; he then dodged questions about how feeding kids instant oatmeal and noodles qualifies as "adequate." In a softball interview on Fox News, the newly minted ACTING head of US Citizenship and Immigration Services, Ken Cuccinelli, complained that surprise outings by House Democrats to jails were "the height of hypocrisy." Later on Face the Nation, Cuccinelli bitched that baby jails were just dandy. [MacAleenan Transcript / Cuccinelli Transcript]

Federal authorities have been poaching the driver's license photos from state DMVs and loading them into facial recognition systems. Is that bad?

Trump World is breathlessly screaming and shitposting that the Fed should continue mashing the economic gas pedal (even if it floods the engine) so that Trump looks good in 2020. Actual economists think Trump is tapping incompetent puppets who will do his bidding at the Fed, and they're worried he'll drive the country off a fiscal cliff.

The Wall Street Journal crunched some numbers and is ringing some alarm bells and warning the US economy isn't looking too good. Adding fuel to that fire is report from the Treasury department last week announcing that the yield curve had been inverted for a full quarter. History obsessed bean counters think that's a REALLY bad sign the economy is about to fall off a cliff, and they're pointing at 50 years of data to validate their fear. #MAGA

The next government shutdown could come as early as September thanks to ideological differences between hardliners on the left and the right. Bean counters are worried that an inability to see the big picture on raising debt limits and passing budgets could stymie efforts to keep the country moving, and further drive wedges between members of Congress.

Surprise! All that conservative belt-tightening and trickledown mumbo jumbo hasn't done doodly squat for the nation's economic output.

Admiral William Moran suddenly announced his retirement amid a brewing scandal. Moran had been set to become the Navy's top officer next month, but an open investigation into Moran's relationship with a former aide who (allegedly) got piss drunk at a Christmas party ultimately forced him to decline the promotion and quit-fire himself.

The US Army has released audiobooks of several operations and training manuals in its ongoing effort to seem hip and cool to all the fellow kids.

New polling from ABC News and the Washington Post shows Joe Biden and Sen. Bernie Sanders holding their lead at the top of the Democratic 2020 field, but losing more points to Sen. Kamala Harris. The polls also show Trump barely trailing behind Biden, as well as (finally) reaching his highest approval numbers, an embarrassing 44 percent, with a 53 percent majority still not and never finding him "presidential." [Poll]


Graphic via ABC News

The pressure is on for 2020 Democratic candidates to begin dropping out (and start running for the Senate!!!!) after new polling data showed most Democratic voters think the number of candidates is too damn high.

Democratic presidential candidate Beto O'Rourke is hoping to stand on more than just coffee shop countertops as he reboots his campaign. Instead of running for Senate, Beto's beefing up his staff and focusing on immigration amid a nose dive in the polls.

After Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper lost a number of staffers who begged him to drop out, Hickenlooper returned to the campaign trail in Iowa this weekend to shoot down rumors of his foundering campaign's demise and dash any hopes for a sensible Senate run.

Billionaire progressive philanthropist Tom Steyer says he might announce #HesRunning after all. Politico says Steyer's platform would be on the economy, climate change, and (of course) his ceaseless call to #Impeach. In January Steyer announced that he'd sit back and throw money at Democratic candidates, but the Washington Post reports Steyer's been quietly cobbling together a campaign staff and telling friends he's just not content being the only old white guy not running in 2020.

Over the weekend Kris Kobach teased a likely Senate run, and could officially announce what we all know is coming as soon as today. This has a number of Republicans in the state nervous and your Five Dollar Feminist cackling in feminist glee.

Michigan Rep. Justin Amash quit-fired himself from the Republican Party last week. In a long winded op-ed, Amash jerks himself off with a Betsy Ross flag and gripes, "Modern politics is in a partisan death spiral." Amid rumors that Amash is mulling over an independent run at the White House in 2020, on Sunday he told CNN's Jake Tapper that he's had a number of Republicans privately thank him for calling to #IMPEACH, and said he wished they'd just come out of the closet already. #HesRunning [Video]

Hillary Scholten, an immigration attorney, has announced a run for Amash's 3rd District seat in the House. Scholten, a Democrat, tells the Detroit News that she "just felt it was time to stand up and do more." Scholten will face former Obama admin alum Nick Colvin in the Democratic primary, while the GOP ticket has attracted the usual clown car full of power hungry jerks, Bible thumpers, and Trump goons.

The British ambassador to the US is not a "big fan" of Trump, and personally thinks he and his administration are "dysfunctional" and "inept," according to The Telegraph. Citing leaked memos, the paper reports the ambassador, Sir Kim Darroch, thinks it's possible Trump is compromised by "dodgy Russians." In response, the UK has said it will hunt down the LEAKERS, but Trump World is bitching that the ambassador should be "You're Fired" for pissing all over Trump's good name.

Someone in the former Soviet "shithole country" that spawned Melon Trump used a chainsaw to carve a wooden statue of Melon into an old tree. The Guardian reports the statue, dubbed "scarecrow" by social media, is another attempt to pick the pockets of gullible tourists who want to see her ancestral home. I really don't care, do you?If you need a break, Politico's Daniel Lippman has a hilarious gossipy piece about Trump's germaphobia, "The Purell Presidency."

Trump spent the weekend shitposting about the media and taking particular aim at Fox News for reporting on the "squalid conditions" at Trump's concentration camps baby jails on the southern border, and airing live footage of a crowd watching the Women's World Cup and chanting, "Fuck Trump."

Yesterday the US Women's Soccer team beat the Netherlands 2-0, successfully defending their title as World Cup champions. Shortly after the win, a number of Dutch and American fans began chanting "equal pay" in response to widespread criticism and a lawsuit from the players themselves that the US Women's Soccer team is paid less than the US Men's team. (Forget 70 cents on the dollar, try 20 or 25.) US women's national team co-captain Megan Rapinoe scored the game winning goal, and was awarded the prestigious Golden Boot. [Photos]

During a press gaggle shortly after the team's victory, Trump brushed off concerns of unequal pay between the US Men's and Women's teams, saying, "I would like to see that but you've also got to look at the numbers. You have to look at who's taking in what." FACT CHECK: Here's the fucking numbers.

And here's your morning Nice Time: ARMADILLOS!

Mommadillo Max and Babydillo www.youtube.com

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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