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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


With Robert Mueller bearing down and White House counsel Don McGahn bailing out, Axios reports that Trump still hasn't settled on any loyal TV lawyers to replace McGahn.

George Papadopoulos is going to jail for 14 days for lying to the FBI about trying to act as a middle-man between Trump and Russia. Yesterday Papadopoulos told George Stephanopoulos, "The campaign was fully aware what I was doing." On Friday Papadopoulos told CNN's Jake Tapper that Jeff Sessions may have fudged up the truth while testifying before Congress last year. WHOA, if true! [Morning Maddow]

Federal prosecutors say they were "mistaken" when they said ALLEGED Russian spy Maria Butina was sexing up old Republicans for influence -- they didn't need any sexing to sell out America.

The House Freedom crazies are begging Trump to dump documents related to the surveillance of Trump idiot Carter Page in their continuing effort to paint the Trump-Russia investigation as a #DeepState hit job, and ruin the careers of more DOJ officials.

Trump and the top congressional Republicans want to ram through ANOTHER tax cut (for the super rich) before they're booted out of the House, but rank-and-file Republicans are warning they'll be crucified on the campaign trail. The new bill would make the original tax cuts (for the super rich) permanent, and cut corporate taxes even further. #MAGA.

Mike Pence went on Face the Nation
to swear that he's not secretly plotting to usurp his orange God-Emperor. In another appearance on Fox News Sunday, Pence told Chris Wallace that his body was ready to submit to a lie detector test. [Transcript]

Nikki Haley says she didn't write THE OP-ED, and adds that she's not a self-serving Heather, like Kellyanne. #ShesRunning2020.

Trump was SO MAD that Obama had the balls to claim credit for the economy that he flaunted a toothy blow job by Jason Chaffetz on Twitter. Too bad the economic data is clear. Thanks, Obama!

Robert Mercer owes the IRS $7 billion after they figured out a tax-avoidance scheme, and he's wondering if he has any friends in Washington who might be able to help him out.

After a Democratic group filed a complaint alleging that Brett Kavanaugh lied to Congress, Merrick Garland was assigned as the presiding judge in the case. Irony is DELICIOUS.

Some rascally protesters sent Susan Collins 3,000 coat hangers to try and convince her that Brett Kavanaugh is a scumbag who is only going to break her heart.

Marsha Blackburn doesn't want Tennessee voters to remember how much she hates abortion after national polls showed people are turned off when some Bible-thumping Becky calls them all whooores.

During a private meeting on Saturday, RNC chair Ronna (Romney) McDaniel and Trump's budget director, Mick Mulvaney, tried to assuage fears of a #BlueWave this fall by telling candidates that some of them are just fugly and not "likeable," like Ted Cruz, and they should try talking about about the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich) instead of talking about Trump.

The GOP is terrified Ted Cruz might actually lose to Beto O'Rourke. They've started burning through cash and they're now begging their super rich friends to throw money at one of the least likeable candidates.

New reporting shows that Florida's Republican gubernatorial candidate, Ron DeSantis, has a long history of speaking at far-right rallies that host racists and white supremacists. A spokesman for DeSantis campaign says they have support on many sides, but DeSantis doesn't "buy into this 'six degrees of Kevin Bacon' notion that he is responsible for the views and speeches of others."

Wisconsin Republican Gov. Scott Walker is in danger as Democrats point to him as the cause of teacher shortages and skyrocketing healthcare costs. Fun Fact: Because of Walker's lack of infrastructure spending, people are calling potholes, "Scottholes."

This is just another friendly reminder that that Congress, federal agencies, and local election bodies are doing nothing to stop potential fuckery from Russia, or secure critical infrastructure systems like the power grid, basic utilities, and the banking sector. What could go wrong?

The Dallas police officer accused of killing her neighbor after entering the wrong apartment has been arrested and charged with manslaughter.

CBS Chairman Les Moonves has been quit-fired following another damning report from Ronan Farrow where six more women accused Moonves of forced oral sex, harassment, and retaliation. As Moonves fucks off on a golden parachute, CBS's board of directors said it is adding six new members and taking $20 million of his severance and donating it to women's equality and #MeToo organizations.

New court filings show that Trump will have to provide written answers to questions in the ongoing sexual assault suit filed by former "Apprentice" contestant Summer Zervos. Clearly this must be another "perjury trap."

Trump and Michael Cohen say they don't plan on enforcing their NDA with Stormy Daniels that said she can't talk about Trump's crooked peener. Smart move.

Later today John Bolton will announce the US will sanction judges of the International Criminal Court in the Hague if it proceeds to investigate Americans for war crimes in Afghanistan, as well as the closure of a Palestine Liberation Organization office in DC for pressuring the ICC to investigate Israel. In a statement, Bolton said, "We will not cooperate with the ICC. We will provide no assistance to the ICC. We will not join the ICC. We will let the ICC die on its own. After all, for all intents and purposes, the ICC is already dead to us."

The Trump administration was in talks to overthrow Venezuelan dictator President Nicolás Maduro through a military coup that would have installed a sanctioned military leader accused of drug trafficking, torture, murdering civilians, and terrorism, but US officials decided to just let Trump shitpost on Twitter instead.

Hundreds of people were beaten and detained during protests of local Russian elections. As usual, the elections broke in favor of the Kremlin, but not before Putin jailed his chief critic, Alexei Navalny, and ordered Google to take down Navalny's Youtube ads.

ICYMI: The Columbia Journalism Review has an interesting profile on Tucker Carlson and how he went from a being an obscure Reaganite dickweed in a bowtie to a racebaiting and conspiracy peddling shit stain for the "alt-right."

Christiane Amanpour will take over the time slot previously occupied by Charlie Rose for a new conversational show that has a "finger on the pulse of what's going on."

And here's your morning Nice Time! KITTIES!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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