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Propaganda Packet! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 3, 2019

News

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Once again Trump's epic White House tantrums are leading the front pages of every major newspaper this morning. Following his multiple Ukrainium One meltdowns yesterday, Maggie Haberman gossips that Teflon Don is upset he can't lie, cheat, and steal his way out of this jam. The Washington Post reports that Trump roped Mike Pence into Ukrainium One, using him as a(nother) middle man between The Boss and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy. Pence's weasels squeal that he was too dense to understand the administration's 3-D chess maneuvers and he was following orders, but White House officials say Pence got A DOSSIER of things just before he met with the Zelenskiy earlier this summer.

As The Walls Close In, Donald Trump Is Clearly Losing It www.youtube.com

Last night CNN reported the State Department's inspector general gave Congress documents that show Trump and Giuliani passing off a fancy looking folder of crazy stuff on Joe and Hunter Biden to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. Maryland Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin later came out to rub the administration's nose in shit, telling reporters that they now had Pompeo's "packet of propaganda." Giuliani admits that a lot of the Breitbart articles and photoshopped Ukrainium One dick pics in the packet came from him because they help "reinforce" his debunked bullshit. [Video]

The implosion of Ukrainium One has revealed that Rudy Giuliani has been meeting with convicted felon Paul Manafort. The Washington Post reports Giuliani admitting that his Midnight Express chats with Manafort are part of an effort to get Manafort out of prison. The convoluted premise, according to Rudy, is that Democrats hacked themselves in 2016, and that Manafort knows where the bodies are buried. [Morning Maddow]

Mike Pence, At Center Of Trump Ukraine Scheme, Scrambles For Cover | Rachel Maddow | MSNBC www.youtube.com

Politico reports several polls show white women are running away from President Puss-grab now that Democrats have announced their intention to #IMPEACH the motherfucker. With rank-and-file Republicans loath to publicly back this week's White House conspiracy, loyalists like Sen. Lindsey Graham are begging hard right governments to manufacture evidence that could help Trump today and in 2020. Meanwhile, the RNC has released a memo saying that Democrats in areas full of Republicans are hurting their election chances in 2020, and a few Republicans involved in the impeachment of Bill Clinton are urging Democrats not to rush into things like they did as if there wasn't a difference between blackmail and a blowjob.

A joint investigation by the AP and PBS's "Frontline" reveals that the administration is trying to offload baby jails to private companies. Yes, private citizen John Kelly does make an appearance from the board of the private baby jail company he joined!

The administration wants to start collecting DNA samples from people booked into federal immigration custody so that they can create a national database of all the anchor babies setting up taco trucks on every corner. If this sounds messed up and/or familiar, that's because it's what China has done to persecute Uighur Muslims.

For more, check out this DEEP DIVE into how ICE agents are essentially spying on immigrants before kidnapping and deporting them by tapping into and exploiting our ever expanding social, data, and surveillance networks.

The Washington Post reports that acting DHS chief Kevin McAleenan is begrudgingly carrying out his orders like a good minion, and laments being lumped into the same category as the rest of the TV talking heads who audition for administration gigs via cable news rants.

Yesterday the World Trade Organization announced the EU had been propping up Airbus for decades, giving the administration the go-ahead to start another trade war. Trump's trade war with the EU will now jack up the price of Scotch, whiskey, wines, cheese, coffee, yogurt, butter, and other European imports, as well as a separate 10 percent tariff on large civil aircraft from France, Germany, Spain, and the UK. Things are likely to get worse as nerds expect the WTO to find the US and Boeing were involved in the exact same scheme, and ultimately rule that the EU can institute its own retaliatory tariffs.

Global markets are on pins and needles this morning following the news that Trump could continue screwing with other people's money, as well as a weak September jobs report that suggests the US economy is puttering out.

Yesterday MSNBC held a gun safety forum in Las Vegas. The whole thing went on for about eight hours without too much news. The most "news" that we could find was Andrew Yang says his freedom coupons would be able to fight the gun lobby, and Sen. Kamala Harris saying she'd try to demilitarize the cops (because she's a cop). [Video]

A judge in Iowa upheld Iowa's voter ID law, but did strike down a number of efforts by conservatives to dick around with eligible voters.

In a new court filing, the NRA's former ad firm claims NRA head Wayne LaPierre "bristled" when the group jumped the gun to endorse Trump in 2016. The suit goes on to say that LaPierre figured Trump would lose the election, and has referred to the Trump presidency as the "Trump slump." An outside lawyer says LaPierre loves his MAGA hats, stickers, and straws.

Talking heads on Fox News suffered their own respective meltdowns last night. First, a flabbergasted Shep Smith and John Roberts fact-checked Trump's Oval Office tantrum on-air, opining, "It feels like things have changed." Lou Dobbs yammered his way through a circlejerk with RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel where he praised her for "making it clear there will be a price for Republican office holders who do not stand with the president." DJTJ then went on Hannity where he threw a bitter hissy fit that culminated in calling Adam Schiff the "Jussie Smollett of Congress on steroids" for being mean to his daddy. Later, A VERY SOBER Corey Lewandowski went on Fox Business to slur a bunch of debunked Ukrainium One garbage. Lewandowski's shhhh-tumbles were then called out by the host asking on-air, "Did you have a merlot with dinner?"

Samantha Bee breaks down Trump's batshit response to impeachment, took a deep dive into how Mike Pence has grabbed HHS by the pussy (with a little help from Jesus) and tried to stock it full of his friends, and then sat down with Rep. Ilhan Omar.

Mike Pence Takes HHS To The Past | Full Frontal on TBS www.youtube.com


And here's your morning Nice Time: BIRDS

Bowerbirds Pull Off a Jewel Heist | Spy In The Wild | BBC Earth www.youtube.com


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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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