Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

VOTER REGISTRATION DEADLINES are today in several key states, so make sure you get off your ass!

Trump's White House is only just beginning to prepare for the subpoena-palooza if/when Democrats take over Congress. They're convinced that last minute Trump rallies can save Republican control. This is a Jonathan Swan story, so it's probably just Jarvanka playing "telephone" again.

Remember that Republican operative who killed himself shortly after revealing he tried to get HER EMAILS from hackers? The WSJ reports that he was quietly begging for hundreds of thousands of dollars in GOP power circles using the phrase, "Washington Scholarship Fund for the Russian students." His estate has been working with the multiple investigations of Trump-Russia, including Robert Mueller. THE GAME IS AFOOT!

A bunch of hippie scientists at the UN are warning that we have maybe a decade before the world starts to see ecological catastrophes on par with some terrible disaster-porn movie.

Shortages in materials for military hardware are creating new security concerns, forcing the Pentagon to audit the supply chain of US contractors like Boeing and Lockheed Martin. Too bad we're right in the middle of Trump's trade war!

Google CEO Sundar Pichai was in DC last week trying to calm down DOD officials who were mad at Google's engineers threatening to quit over a Pentagon contract to build killer robots.

A new WaPo survey shows Democrats edging out Republican-controlled seats in 2018 by a 50-46 margin, with women driving much of the support in battleground districts.

Susan Rice is thinking about running against Susan Collins in 2020. HHMMMM.

Paul Ryan's super PAC is hitting Linda Coleman, the Democratic opponent trying to unseat North Carolina Republican Rep. George Holding, for being late on paying her taxes. The unfortunate side effect is that it reminds voters Republicans never pay taxes.

Minnesota Republican Rep. Erik Paulsen wrote the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich), and "goodness gracious" he just can't understand why people in smalltown America hate trickle-down economics!

A Georgia law that automatically registered people to vote after getting a driver's license has resulted in a dramatic increase in the number of registered voters who tend to lean Democratic. COINCIDENCE?

State officials in Florida and Wisconsin are brushing off the warnings from computer nerds who say wireless voting machines are much more susceptible to hacking. These geeks act like they're just so smart, what do they know about computers anyway?

Timothy Loehmann, the cop who fatally shot 12-year-old Tamir Rice over a pellet gun, has been hired as a part-time cop in a tiny Ohio village south of Cleveland. The chief of police defended the probationary hiring, telling a local paper, "He was cleared of any and all wrongdoing. He was never charged. It's over and done with."

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is running around Asia trying to clean up Donald Trump's mess. Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi told Pompeo that the Trump administration seriously fucked up the "mutual trust and cast a shadow" over ongoing trade negotiations and international security.

Interpol president and Chinese vice minister of security Meng Hongwei has reappeared and resigned after being ensared in a massive anti-corruption scandal being carried out by Chinese President Xi Jinping. Many feel Meng's resignation and detention are political retribution, and President (for life) Xi is simply trying to jail any threats to his supremacy.

Turkey says that journalists Jamal Khashoggi was killed by a Saudi Arabian murder squad in Istanbul. Khashoggi had gone to the Saudi embassy to marry a Turkish woman and never left. The Saudis are denying any involvement, but neither nation has provided evidence to back up their claim. The Trump administration responded by making gurgling noises while spinning in rolling chairs with thumbs up their asses.

Right-wing populist Jair Bolsonaro has won the first round of elections in Brazil. Human rights advocates are worried that Bolsonaro's history of shit-talking the LGBT, women and minorities signals even more bad news for a country constantly rocked by political corruption scandals. "Even if he is a little crazy," one voter told WaPo, "someone needs to bring change."

John Oliver 'splainered the Brazilian elections, and why a history of hilariously insane political theatre and staggering gun violence have created a massive distrust in the 5th largest country.

Taylor Swift endorsed Democrats Phil Bredesen and Jim Cooper for the Senate and House, respectively. In a lengthy Instagram post, Tay-tay criticized crazypants GOP Rep. Marsha Blackburn for her history of race baiting and refusal to support the Violence Against Women Act. Predictably, white supremacists began freaking out about the loss of their White Queen. NO, WE DO NOT HAVE "SHAKE IT OFF" PUNS!

And here's your morning Nice Time! A baby owl!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


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