Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Somebody has ghostwritten an op-ed for Trump in USA Today that says the Democratic push for "Medicare for All" would turn the US into a failed socialist state like Venezuela and send all the old people to Carousel. It also accuses Democrats of being radical communists who want to steal from the rich and give to the Mexicans. (Factcheck TRUE!)

At a rally in Iowa full of bitter, angry old people, Trump hiked up his fupa and said "I'm not on the ballot," then told the ravenous crowd of pasty-faced geriatrics to vote for him. He also painted Democrats as "too dangerous to govern," introduced new childish nicknames, and insulted Sen. Dianne Feinstein, prompting his minions to start chanting, "Lock her up."

Democrats plan to hold Republicans' feet to the fire later this week when they introduce legislation to kill Trump's junk health insurance plan with Republican-style congressional fuckery.

Healthcare has emerged as the de facto issue among many voters as Republicans find their attempts to kill protections for pre-existing conditions being roundly rejected. Who knew?

House Freedom crazies are salivating over a chance to grill Rod Rosenstein over his wiretap "joke," and Andrew McCabe seems like he's snitching.

Politico reports Dina Powell is considering leaving Goldman Sachs (again) to go work in the White House (again). As usual, Jonathan Swan has another "Trump's 'central casting' strategy" story in Axios about filling Nikki Haley's seat at the UN. Meanwhile, WaPo reports Haley is definitely positioning herself to run for ... something.

Most economists will tell you controlling inflation is as much a science as it is stumbling around the woods with a broken flashlight. As the Fed raises rates in the hope of warding off the bad economic juju, it's now being forced to defend itself from Donald Trump, who is telling reporters he "doesn't like what they're doing."

New EPA head Andrew Wheeler already has his own scandal after HuffPo found he "liked" a racist meme depicting Barack and Michelle Obama staring at a banana back in 2013, and retweeting conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec.

The inspector general has found a number of federal law enforcement agencies have been losing truckloads of weapons and ammo, including 2.45 million rounds of ammo, 300 shotguns, pistols, and M4 rifles, because of poor logistics control and old fashioned stupidity. #MAGA.

The 2020 census will use less than half of the 150,000 temp workers hired for the 2010 census thanks to satellites and iPhones, and the ability to complete the census by phone. The Census Bureau is brushing off security concerns by pointing to all the money they're saving, adding, "You're welcome, America."

The Supreme Court just blocked an order to depose Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross in a lawsuit over citizen questions on the 2020 census. SCOTUS also criticized a lower court for ruining the regularly scheduled naps executive time of high-ranking cabinet officials, and for questioning Ross's "mental processes."

BUT WAIT, there's more! SCOTUS also upheld a North Dakota voter ID law designed to disenfranchise native people from voting as it forces people to use residential addresses instead of tribal IDs (which use PO boxes). In her dissent, the notorious RBG noted that the court was upending precedent and changing the rules right before an election.

Iowa Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley says he's trying to raise $3 million for Susan Collins after a swath of Democrats immediately began lining up behind Susan Rice to challenge Collins in 2020.

In a debate to fill the seat being vacated by Utah Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch, Mitt Romney railed against Trump's baby jails as a "dark stain on this country," and portrayed it as something that was over (it's not). Mittens then dodged questions about Trump's tax cuts (for the super rich). Oh, Mittens, you scamp!

According to a new Politico/Morning Consult poll, support for Democrats has surged following the Republicans' attempts to pin us down and keep us from screaming.

Republicans are beginning to cut their losses in several key House races, pulling previously announced ads in the hopes that the comically large money bags can stop gaping wounds elsewhere.

New data from the primaries show a massive turnout of among Democrats in 19 competitive House races. #BlueWave

Before the buttcrack of dawn could creep over Manhattan, super rich guy and former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg re-registered as a Democrat. #HesRunning.

Politico's Playbook reports that Republican replacement Senator Jon Kyl might fuck off to his super fancy lobbying gig on K Street later this year so that he doesn't have to tell anyone how much money he makes.

Trump wants to have his next summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un at Mar-a-Lago. Yesterday he told reporters that he was surprised at all the "denuking" progress they've made. National security geeks are quick to note US intel agencies have reported North Korea may actually be increasing their nuclear capabilities.

WaPo has new reporting of apparent murder of journalist Saudi Jamal Khashoggi.Jamal Khashoggi. Heavily edited police video shows black vans waiting for Khashoggi upon his entrance into the Saudi embassy in Turkey, but never leaving. WaPo goes on to report that embassy staff were suddenly told to leave, and the video shows several vehicles leaving, and a 15 person entourage boarding two private jets bound for Saudi airspace.

Michael Avenatti has proposed "a three-round mixed-martial arts fight" for charity with Donald Trump Jr. because politics is now more about theatre than actually solving problems.

Sears is preparing to file for bankruptcy after posting losses for almost a decade. With a deadline to pay off a $134 million debt coming this Monday, it's unlikely we'll ever get another Brady emergency that requires our Sunday best.

Bloomberg claims to have evidence that a major telecom company used hacked Chinese motherboards. Bloomberg quotes a security contractor who says the problem is much more widespread than people believe, and that the entire tech supply chain has been corrupted at the manufacturing level. The Chinese government continues to deny that they've caught everyone with their pants down.

And here's your morning Nice Time! Screaming Hairy Armadillo Pups!

Follow Dominic on Twitter and Instagram!

We're 100% ad-free and reader-supported, so consider buying us coffee, or get a subscription!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc