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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Federal officials are still investigating 10 12 suspicious packages sent to prominent critics of Donald Trump. The FBI says it believes some of the packages may have come from South Florida, and cautions that there may yet be more potential bombs discovered.

BREAKING NEWS: Police officials are reporting two packages have just been discovered, one in New York addressed to former DNI Director James Clapper, and another package addressed to Sen. Corey Booker was discovered in a Florida postal facility.

At fuck-off o'clock this morning Trump started shitposting on Twitter about a perceived double-standard in the media over his reaction to the attempted bombings. He then complained about people comparing the attack to 9/11 or the Oklahoma City bombing.

Trump and Republicans are refusing to admit that the attacks were politically motivated terrorism, instead they're saying there is a "rush to judgment" to blame Trump, just like Justice Rapey McPrivilege. Others are doubling down on the narrative that there is an elaborate conspiracy to gin up turnout among Democratic voters ahead of the midterms orchestrated by Mexican-Muslims terrorists and Hillary Clinton's Satanic ninja death squads (all of whom are somehow funded by George Soros).

Trump is considering closing the Southern border in order to stop a caravan of central American refugees Mexican-Muslim terrorists from invading our country with their taco trucks and minivans full of anchor babies. Trump's plan would bar asylum-seeking immigrants, and use as many as 1,000 US troops to stand around picking their sweaty asses on the border. In a tweet yesterday, Trump screamed, "Go back to your Country [sic]," and told them to try their luck and patience at applying for citizenship from abroad. (That does not exist.)

DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen says there's no "intention right now to shoot" at the refugees trying to enter the US on the Southern Border, they're just going to lock them up in tent cities and baby jails.

Robert Mueller has been busy digging into Nixonian "ratfucker" Roger Stone. Text messages seem to show Stone knew something about HER EMAILS before they were released, but he certainly didn't do the dirty work himself. Mueller is also wondering why Stone was working to pardon Julian Assange.

MEANWHILE, a mystery guest is refusing to spill their guts to Mueller's grand jury, leading to a series of super secret court proceedings that nobody knows anything about.

Republicans freaking out about a "partisan bias" at the Justice Department met with former Trump lackey George Papadopoulos. A lawyer for Papadopoulos said he wants to testify in an open setting, that way he can scream about his "suspicious encounters" with a spooky Australian diplomat.

The war against Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross is getting more heated as Forbes reports Ross meeting with Chevron executives while Ross's wife owned a $250,000 stake in the company, a serious conflict of interest under more normal circumstances.

DJTJ told a gathering of black conservatives that they had "the most guts of anyone in America" because they were black Republicans. They're expected to meet at the White House later today and, yes, Stacey Dash and Ben Carson will bill be there.

While Trump considers stationing troops on US soil, student veterans are getting screwed out of their GI benefits thanks to yet another backlog of claims in the VA, and Congress's inability to #SupportOurTroops.

Shortly after Trump praised slap happy Congressman Rep. Greg Gianforte at a rally this month, a bunch of young people told pollsters that they think Trump encourages violence against journalists.

Speaking of Gianforte, Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs is reminding Gianforte that he is legally obligated not to make “false and/or defamatory statements" about pleading guilty to assaulting Jacobs. Yesterday Jacobs's lawyers sent Gianforte a cease and desist letter, and said that Gianforte is leaving himself open for a big, fat lawsuit.

Poor "Sloppy" Steve Bannon just can't shake his deplorables out of their rats nest like he used to. At a rally in Buffalo for Rep. Chris Collins, only 200 people bothered to show up, and on Monday, a rally in Staten Island only saw 38 people. Naturally, it gets worse, with the Tampa Bay Times reporting ticket prices to a fancy fundraiser with Bannon have been slashed to free, and there's still no indication that tickets are moving. Now Bannon, unable to make friends at home, is thinking about invading the EU with his neo-Nazi army.

Chuck Grassley is telling other rich old geezers that they need to vote for Republicans or else some damn Democratic governor could appoint a damn Democratic senator if Grassley's damn heart stops beating. Grassley stated, "I don't want a Democrat appointing my successor who would then be a Democrat, not a Republican. Keep that in mind..." It's all about civility and fairness, folks.

New York Democratic Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand used a debate with her super rich Republican opponent, Chele Farley, to repeatedly attack Trump, and reassure everyone that she's not running. #ShesRunning.

Missouri Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill fought back cherry-picked arguments from Republican AG Josh Hawley in a fiery debate yesterday. McCaskill again reminded people that Hawley runs lock-step with Trump, including supporting the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich), and being a party to lawsuits that will kill public healthcare and pre-existing conditions.

Residents of Chicago from all walks of life testified before a US District Court judge about theirdecades of frustrations with the Chicago Police Department. An old cop in a Trump jersey bitched about the "anti-police climate," a black man talked about being arrested at an "L" station because someone thought he looked suspicious in a suit and tie, and the Rev. Jesse Jackson complained that Chicago cop and convicted murderer Jason Van Dyke "cannot be the fall guy for the criminal justice collapse."

CIA Director Gina Haspel briefed Trump on the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi after traveling to Turkey to hear purported audio of Khashoggi's torture and killing. Yesterday, Saudi Arabia released travel restrictions on Khashoggi's son, Salah, a dual US-Saudi citizen, and allowed him to return home to the US following a photo-op with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. If you were wondering how/when this would get all swept under the rug...

A Saudi-led airstrike at a produce market in Yemen has left 19 people dead, including women and children.

In a masterful display of nerd trolling, China not only denied that it spies on Trump's iPhones, but it suggested he buy a Huawei phone, adding, "there are those in America who are working all-out to win the Oscar for best screenplay."

Russia is claiming the US took control of mystery drones and used them to attack a Russian base in Syria. The US says it's a load of malarkey, and that we don't play Grand Theft Auto: Drone Edition (yet).

Over in Europe, Russia is bitching about a massive NATO exercise in Scandinavia currently underway. The Swedes says their cooperation in the drills is just to ensure that soldiers and equipment are in working order. They do note they see "no military threats," but add, "Russia has both shown the will and ability to use military force to achieve strategic goals."

Former Soviet Prime Minister Mikhail Gorbachev opines in the New York Times that we are now in a new Cold War, however, "Faced with this dire threat to peace, we are not helpless."

All branches of the British armed forces, including the SAS and the Royal Marines, are now open to women. In announcing the move, British Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson stated, "Our armed forces will be determined by ability alone and not gender."

Through a gin-soaked typewriter, Dame Peggington hath declared that wow is the heart that breaks for a democracy burdened by the slings and arrows raining down from BOTH SIDES.

Like Trump, David Brooks is also a nationalist, but not a white nationalist, because he's still a JOOOOOOO.

Trump is creating a task force for 5G networks, the wireless broadband spectrum that telecoms have been salivating over for years. This is one of those stories that might be good news if Trump's ability to fuck everything up wasn't in full swing.

The Librarian of Congress and US Copyright Office just proposed a new rule that could make it legal to hack and repair DRM-locked gadgetry and hardware, like tractors, cell phones, and smart toasters. It may not seem like much, but it's a potentially huge win in the #RightToRepair movement.

And here's your morning Nice Time! The cuddliest killer kitty EVER!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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