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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Trump's White House is surprised nobody likes Matthew Whittaker. With thousands of activists marching in the street against Whittaker's appointment as acting AG, reporters began to uncover Whittaker's not-so-secret view that SCOTUS is weak and sad poop, his belief that the Trump-Russia investigation is a hoax, and his old job threatening people who were, according to the FTC, "bilked...out of millions of dollars." [Morning Maddow]

Over at the Old Grey Lady, George Conway and Neal Katyal opine that Whittaker's appointment is unconstitutional since he wasn't approved by the Senate. They even cite the opinion of Trump's favorite SCOTUS Justice, Clarence Thomas, who recently stated that the framers of the Constitution "recognized the serious risk for abuse and corruption posed by permitting one person to fill every office in the government."

The bipartisan bromance between Senators Jeff Flake and Chris Coons is spilling into the public again as the two try to push a bill protecting Robert Mueller. It's unlikely to go anywhere, but it's nice to see love isn't dead.

The rumors coming out of Trump's White House are all over the place this morning. Some say Solicitor General Noel Francisco or Labor Secretary Alex Acosta may get offered the job as AG, but Politico reports Acosta will decline, if only because Trump keeps confusing him with the CNN guy. Right now Chris Christie is still kissing everyones ass, including Jared Kushner, because he thinks Trump and Kushner won't humiliate him for the 1,248,099th time.

Jeff Sessions threw crooked cops a bone just before he was "You're Fired," in a memo that kneecaps consent decrees put in place under the Obama DOJ and earlier. According to Sessions, the consent decrees violate the sovereignty of local governments by making it harder for racist cops in Chicago, Baltimore, and Ferguson, Missouri to murder people.

Grifty bastard and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke may be on the verge of being "You're Fired" before he's indicted, but that hasn't stopped him from looking for a new job. Zinke has ALLEGEDLY been looking for gigs at energy companies, private equity firms, and even possibly joining other rejected Trump cabinet officials at Fox News, but a Fox spox tells Mediaite that's a lie.

A federal judge in Montana has ordered a work stoppage on the Keystone XL pipeline over violations of environmental and administrative laws regarding climate change, and is ordering the Trump administration to go do their homework on climate change before they start building again.

The Senate and gubernatorial races in Florida are still in play after a number of uncounted ballots in Broward and Palm Beach counties were found. Because this is Florida, the super villain and very rich Republican Gov. Rick Scott has filed a lawsuit and opened an investigation into why the state is counting votes, stating, "No ragtag group of liberal activists or lawyers from D.C. will be allowed to steal this election from the voters of this great state." Trump and conservatives are now having a meltdown and trying to stop an inevitable recount by promoting a conspiracy theory that votes are being stolen. Last night Scott went on Hannity to have a pity party.

Democratic Rep. Kyrsten Sinema now holds a narrow 9,000+ vote lead over Republican Rep. Martha McSally in the Arizona Senate race. Sinema is now 2.5 points ahead of McSally with another half-million mail-in votes to count, largely from the Phoenix area that Sinema represents. Yesterday the Yuma, Navajo, Apache and Maricopa County Republican parties filed lawsuits to challenge the the way mail-in ballots are verified because they're desperate to throw out voters, and that's really chapped the ass of Cindy McCain, who tweeted she's one of those mail-in ballots.

NOTE: If you live in Yuma, Navajo, Apache and Maricopa County, and you voted by mail, you should probably check to see the status of your mail-in ballot right now.

California Democratic Rep. Linda Sanchez has dropped her bid to lead the House Democratic caucus following the indictment of her husband on fraud charges. It's a familiar story -- her husband is accused of using federal money to take personal trips with Sanchez, and it might be a serious scandal if Trump's lackeys weren't rewriting the book on ethical lapses and corruption.

On Tuesday Floridians voted to give felons who've served their time the right to vote, potentially adding 1.5 million people to Florida's voter roles, but now comes the hard part of getting all them registered and to the polling booth.

Rumor has it that California Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell is planning to run for president in 2020 after Swalwell began planning trips to Iowa and hunting for staffers in New Hampshire. #HesRunning.

A bunch of British lawmakers are asking Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to bar Islamophobic hate machine and ex-con Tommy Robinson from entering the US, noting that his history of stealing passports and fleeing immigration authorities make him a security risk according to Trump's Muslim ban travel restrictions on ethnic minorities from "shithole countries"

After years of encouraging white supremacy and division in the right-wing-nut o'sphere, Tucker Carlson is cowering in fear from about two dozen anti-fascist protesters whom he says threatened him for a few minutes the other night. Tuck-tuck called into his own show last night to tell WaPo he's afraid to go out for a fancy dinner because someone might say mean things.

Lawyers for Dr. Christine Blasey Ford say she's still receiving death threats, has had to move four times, needs private security, and can no longer work as a professor at Palo Alto University. But let's all shed tears for Tucker's steak dinner.

A 39-year-old Arkansas man has been arrested for making over 40 threatening phone calls to CNN between Oct. 31 and Nov. 2, as well as threats to MSNBC, Sen. Chuck Schumer, Rep. Maxine Waters, and Planned Parenthood. He's being charged on multiple counts including terrorism and threatening bodily harm. Examples of calls have the suspect appearing to ask for "bloody pictures of [Don Lemon] cut up in small pieces, like the movie Saw."

An extensive investigation into the Houston Chronicle Austin bureau chief Mike Ward has revealed this mother fucker was making up stories, and calling it journalism. The Chronicle has since retracted eight stories, and and Ward has resigned. BOO THIS MAN! BOOOOOO!

David Brooks is surprised at the uneducated masses who turned out to vote for Republicans. He'd probably buy them all a fucking panini if it wasn't considered a handout.

And here's your morning Nice Time! CHIPMUNKS!

Chipmunk Showdown www.youtube.com

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking photos.

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Good morning, America! Attorney General Bill Barr is doing a presser at 9:30 AM EDT about the Mueller report, which nobody will be able to see until around noon or after, once Congress gets the redacted report on CDs. Seeing as that is bullshit, there's no reason to watch this thing, as journalists won't be able to ask him questions about a document they haven't seen. So ... go back to bed, everyone!

Ugh, fine, we guess we will do this, and that is because we care, even though we are quite certain HGTV is doing some kind of very important "Property Brothers" marathon that adds much more of value to the national discourse, and also covers it up with shiplap accent walls. Does Bill Barr do cover-ups with shiplap? No, because he doesn't have the good taste for that.

Reportedly, we are going to hear from Barr why certain things were redacted, including why he thinks certain facts are subject to executive privilege, which is funny because he is not the president and therefore cannot invoke executive privilege. But oh whatever! Details! Robert Mueller won't be there and none of his team will be there, which tells you something about how they feel about this whole process. If they felt like this was on the up-and-up, you'd imagine they might show up to present a united front. As that is not happening, assume the entire thing is a bullshit act meant to help Donald Trump set the narrative for what will otherwise be a very bad day for him.

The New York Times reported last night that the White House has already been briefed on significant portions of the report, because Bill Barr is a rightwing scam artist piece of shit who gives the Trump White House reacharounds. The briefings have reportedly been very helpful for the White House in coming up with how to rebut today's report, which is funny because we thought Trump said this report was a full exoneration, NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION. (Actually nope on both counts, since Mueller didn't decide the obstruction question, and even according to Barr's mash notes, he took a very limited view of the conspiracy question, focusing on the Russian government's hack and dump WikiLeaks operation.)

Anyway, assuming Trump is right about full exoneration, we guess Rudy Giuliani's rebuttal will state that Trump is guilty, full stop. Because that's what "rebuttal" means, correct?

Committee chairs in the House including Jerry Nadler, Adam Schiff and Maxine Waters have called upon Bill Barr to cancel today's briefing, as it is useless horseshit. Because Barr literally gives zero fucks about his reputation and apparently is OK with going down in history as a fecal stain on our institutions and the rule of law, the show will go on.

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Now What? Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 18, 2019

Bill Barr's book report, the NRA is doomed, and Johnny Cash will watch over the Capitol. Your morning news brief!

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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