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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Trump's holiday in Europe was big, fat mess after he was forced to stand in the cold rain with a bunch of foreigners who don't speak American talking about dead people. Instead of getting some kick-ass military parade with tanks, and jets, and dudes with guns, Trump had to sit stand in a cemetery for Armistice/Veterans Day, then sit there as Not American leaders talked shit about him TO HIS FACE. Can't wait for Russia to tell us all about the instructions Vladimir Putin gave him.

Bloomberg is reporting that acting AG Matt Whitaker won't snatch Robert Mueller's purse as a way to kill the Trump-Russia investigation. Wouldn't want to give the appearance of obstructing justice, at least not right away while anyone's watching.

The list of people the Trump administration wants to honor with the Presidential Medal Freedom reads like a list of old magazine covers you'd see at a dentist office. Honorees include Sen. Orrin Hatch, Justice Antonin Scalia, Elvis Presley, Babe Ruth, sportsball players, and Miriam Adelson, the wife of Republican mega donor Sheldon Adelson. #MERICA!

The Daily Beast reports that ICE has 44,000 people in detention right now, according to a recent report to Congress on all the brown people being rounded up and crammed into Trump's concentration camps. The Beast reports the Trump administration is expected to request even MORE money and MORE "beds" (ICE counts the number of occupied "beds," not people) for FY 2019. #MAGA

House Democrats are set to drop more than 85 subpoenas on Trump and his minions next as they begin investigating everything from the "Space Force," the misadventures of his peen, Russian puppetry, corporate fuckery, shady profiteering, and quid-pro-quo swamp schemes. Incoming chair of the House Oversight Committee Elijah Cummings tells WaPo's Joe Davidson he's going to start with the security clearance process, and then move on to helping rank-and-file federal workers get their money (and jobs) back.

Now that Jeff Sessions has been "You're Fired," Jared Kushner's prison reform bill seems to mayhaps be moving forward in the Senate during the lame duck session. Strange -- maybe there's a fire under the asses of Republicans to keep white-collar criminals out of jail.

As Florida begins three statewide recounts, super-rich Republican Gov. Rick Scott is accusing Democrats and state officials in Broward and Palm Counties of trying to "commit fraud to try to win this election." And he should know from fraud.

Amid a hurricane of lawsuits contesting the election, Andrew Gillum withdrew his concession over the weekend, and is calling for a "uncompromised and unapologetic call" to count every vote. Yesterday Gillum addressed a church in Fort Lauderdale and stated, "They don't get to shut down the process because they're not winning." Naturally, Trump tweeted something stupid while hiding from the rain in France.

Democratic Rep. Kyrsten Sinema has expanded her lead over Rep. Martha McSally for the Arizona Senate race by 32,640 votes. The race is still super close, and and there are more than 160,000 votes yet to be counted, but at least McSally's being civil about it, unlike state and national Republicans.

It's a little tough to hear, but Mississippi (R)edneck Rep. Cindy Hyde-Smith was speaking to group of supporters on Nov. 2 when she said she'd happily accept an invitation from a great supporter, even it were to a, "public hanging." Hyde-Smith says it was an oopsie-doodle, and she wasn't even thinking about lynching former rep/Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy -- who could become the first black man elected to federal office in Mississippi since Reconstruction. Hyde-Smith and Espy are set for a run-off election on Nov. 27. [Video]

Gigantic asshole, California Republican Rep., and Putin's favorite politico, Dana Rohrabacher just BARELY lost his reelection. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Last night retired Army Major / West Virginia State Sen. / badass Richard Ojeda filed paperwork to run for president in 2020. In an email to supporters last night, Ojeda said, "Families in Logan, West Virginia, were going through the same struggles as families in the Bronx, San Francisco and Houston...This was not a West Virginia problem. This is an American problem and it has to change." #HesRunning

Turkish dictator/President Recep Tayyip Erdogan says it's given tapes of the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi to officials in Germany, Britain, France, the US and Saudi Arabia. On Saturday Erdogan acted like a hero and told reporters, "Saudi Arabia must respond to our good will, and be just, and clear themselves of this stain," because he knows exactly how evil murdering political enemies is when other people do it.

It wasn't just Khashoggi though, the NY Times reports the Saudi's dropped $2 billion on private intel agencies in order to sabotage the Iranian economy, and assassinate enemies of the Kingdom and Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. They even had meetings with Trump officials and Israeli officials -- including people who are now serving as witnesses in the Trump-Russia affair -- and warmongering colonialist for-hire, Erik Prince.

Michael Avenatti has a new client! Recently released cell phone video (from Avenatti, natch) shows Tucker Carlson in a bar fight at a country club from Oct. 13. There's a lot of potty words, and no physical violence, but Tucker certainly threatens the guy -- who just happens to be a Brazilian immigrant and LGBQT activist who sits on the board of a women's mental-health initiative.

On SNL, Pete Davidson apologized for using his big dick magic on newly elected Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw before Kate McKinnon said goodbye to Jeff Sessions in the cold open.

John Oliver 'splainered how Trump's election has filled DC up with a so filthy rich swamp monsters that they're spilling into the halls of government.

And here's your morning Nice Time! IT'S PENELOPE! OM-NOM-NOM!

Penelope the Pygmy Hippo Calf- Nom Nom Nom www.youtube.com

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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