Mick? The Knife. Wonkagenda for Tues., Nov. 12, 2019

Mick? The Knife. Wonkagenda for Tues., Nov. 12, 2019

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

You should bookmark this New York Timessummary on the Ukrainium One scheme (so far). This might come in handy if your drunk uncle starts ranting about liberal media conspiracies over the holidays.

A top Pentagon official testified before the House impeachment inquiry that Trump told OMB officials to hold the release of aid to Ukraine, and that lawyers inside the State Department didn't think that any of this shit was legal as Congress had already signed and sealed the check.

The AP reports Rick Perry's hasty exit from the Trump administration seems to be centered around his proximity to the Ukrainium One implosion. In a nutshell, Perry leaned on the Ukrainian government to award a lucrative 50-year oil and gas contract to minions from Trump World. A spox for Perry says he loves America, and did not "advocate for the business interests of any one individual or company." [Morning Maddow]

Trump Administration Models Corruption Even As It Scolds Ukraine | Rachel Maddow | MSNBCwww.youtube.com

Lackeys in Trump's White House are fighting over who did what to make the impeachment inquiry worse, and all the finger pointing seems aimed at (acting) chief of staff and OMB Director Mick Mulvaney. On Friday Mulvaney tried to jump into a lawsuit originally filed by former national security mustache John Bolton about whether or not he has to testify before the House impeachment committee, but Mulvaney has now pulled out after the judge seemed ready to embarrass the hell out of him. Mulvaney is said to be filing his own lawsuit in an effort to avoid being dragged up to the Hill to spill his guts.

Brian Stelter has a great story breaking down how Sean Hannity was never sucked into the periphery of the imploding Ukrainium One scandal -- he's been at the center the whole time. Hannity has since fired off a couple of shitposts at Stelter, so it must've struck a nerve.


A Trump-appointed federal judge has ruled that Trump can't sue New York state officials in DC to keep them from releasing his tax returns. Whomp-whomp.

Joe Biden had a town hall on CNN last night where he slammed "Medicare for All" and called SOME PEOPLE "angry" and "elitist," arguing that they should run in a socialist primary if they think he's a Republican. Biden later said he knows Republicans who are afraid of Trump and the Koch brothers, and they're just waiting for politics to go back to normal. The whole thing reminded of the steak scene from the 1988 classic "The Great Outdoors," featuring John Candy and Dan Aykroyd, where Candy bites off more than he can chew.

Biden comes out against 'Medicare for All,' slams Warrenwww.youtube.com

The Nevada Independent has a good piece on the battle for Nevada, and why Joe Biden continues to lead in the polls despite constantly shoving his foot in his mouth.

After a rocky start, The Des Moines Register has some updates about Kamala Harris's "move" to Iowa. Over the weekend Harris was in Las Vegas to voice support for fighting homelessness and her opposition to the city's so-called "camping ban."

Like other lower polling candidates, Julian Castro's campaign has been teetering on and off life support for a few months, pulling staffers from New Hampshire and South Carolina to double down on Iowa and Nevada. The Dallas Morning News writes that Castro might be absent from the Nov. 20 debate, but he's not out yet.

Pete Buttigieg sat down with the Indianapolis Star to outline how he plans to cobble together cash to pay for his $5.7 billion in social programs. TLDR: restructure capital gains, end the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich), charge big banks a crisis risk fee, and a smattering of other ideas.

DINO Rep. Tulsi Gabbard wants Hillary Clinton to read an apology that looks like it might have been handwritten by her cult leader, or one of those dictators she's so fond of. Gabbard's hostage letter DEMANDS Clinton say she's very sorry for calling Gabbard "a Russian asset" and/or "being groomed by Russia," and that the story was "fabricated" to the point that it's "actionable as defamation."

A new Quinnipiac Poll of New Hampshire out this morning shows Joe Biden sitting at around 20 percent, while Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and Pete Buttigieg are now statistically tied. The poll is bad news for some lower polling candidates, but I think the most interesting thing is the enthusiasm gap between top tier candidates. [Poll]

People close to former Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick say #HesRunning. Patrick is said to have warned Joe Biden, and been trying to pick off staffers from other campaigns. Politico writes Patrick's campaign is a response to proposed taxes on the super rich, and that some in the Democratic party leadership see Patrick as a worthy successor to Barrack Obama. The Washington Post notes that Patrick's potential entry might not be the smartest career move, and that all the best staffers already have decent gigs as they dig in for 2020.

With Sen. Pat Roberts joining the rest of Republicans running from the Hill, the race to fill Roberts's seat has created ripple effects downballot as Trump World and the Never Trumpers unsheath their backstabbing long knives. And on the other side of the aisle, senior Democratic leaders and rising stars like Rep. Sharice Davids are already eyeballing their own chances.

Maya Rockymoore Cummings says #ShesRunning for Maryland's 7th District, the same seat that was occupied by her late husband, Elijah Cummings. Cummings says she'll step down as the chair of the state's Democratic Party to avoid any conflicts of interest. A special election primary will be held on Feb. 4, with a special election on April 28 -- the same day as the state's 2020 primary -- with the winner serving out the rest of Cummings's congressional term. [Morning Maddow]

Former UN ambassador Nikki Haley tried to embussen REXXON, John Kelly, and HR McMaster on Hannity's show last night. At one point Haley argued with Hannity about THE TRANSCRIPTS, saying she didn't think it was "good for us to ever want a foreign country to investigate an American," but concluded the impeachment inquiry was a fake news witch-pursuit-thing led by alien lizards who eat pizzas made of babies. This morning, Haley went on the Today Show and said Trump was a "truthful" person when he was with her, and a bigly good brain that wasn't full of stupids. This caused the Reaganites at Scarborough and Co. to giggle until they peed in their Dockers. #ShesRunning.

Laura Ingraham's white power hour was all about reclaiming "our history and heritage." Ingraham heiled the neo-fascist regimes trying to take over Western Europe, saying the best way to honor veterans who fought fascism was by ... peddling fascism.

Twitter needs a hand drafting policies to deal with deep fakes so it's asking users to take a quick survey to get a better read on what you'd like them to do. It's multiple choice, so you're not going to be able to draw any penises (for better or worse).

Former White House liar Sean Spicer was finally booted off that game show for C- and D-list celebrities who think they can dance. Trump shitposted encouragement for Spicer, calling him "a great and very loyal guy who is working very hard," but the post was deleted after Spicer was "You're Fired" from the show. Trump later shitposted that Spicer had "a great try."

Here's an inspiring op-ed from Christina Koch and Jessica Meir, the participants of the first all-female space walk. FUCK YEAH, SPACE!

Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at the hypocritical billionaires whining about paying their taxes, and Trevor Noah pointed out that all these egotistical billionaire bastards think they're Batman.

Billionaires Freak Out About Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders: A Closer Lookwww.youtube.com

And here's your morning Nice Time:CORAL SPLOOGE!

Witness a Massive Coral Spawningwww.youtube.com

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


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