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12 Things Gifzette Will Miss About the 2012 GOP Primary

News

12) That time Michele Bachmanncompared herself to a serial killer.


11) Stress-eating at the mere sight of Chuck Todd's facial hair.

10) Donald Trump's very good relationship with "the blacks."

9) Jon Huntsman speaking Mandarin.

8) "The Original, Famous Ron Paul Survival Kit."

7) Tim Pawlenty. (He was so benign!)

6) "Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when so much is on the line. I believe these words came from the Pokemon movie."

5) Newt Gingrich lecturing black people.

4) Newt Gingrich lecturing journalists.

3) Newt Gingrich lecturing unemployed inner city elementary school students.

2) "I'm proud of my gun. And I pooed in space."

1) But mostly I will miss you guys! Because I'm sad to say this is my last day at Wonkette: I've decided to shutter The Gifzette, which means my days as a daily syndicated Wonketeer must come to an end. Do know that I loved doing it so very much, it's just that my friends have asked that I kindly figure out a way to be able to stay out at night past 8 p.m.

But! Ken has very graciously extended me the chance to moonlight here in the future, so you guys haven't heard the last from me just yet (at least, that is, until I emerge from the corner of my apartment where I will be curled up in the fetal position for the next nine months until November 6 has come and gone). Until then, you can always find me ranting about politics on Twitter and even sometimes on that Tumblr thing. Thanks guys!!

EDITOR'S NOTE: This is Sad, but should also teach young people about starting their own daily news service that requires them to get up at 5 a.m. before going to their *real job*. Also, look for that other famous slacker, Jim Newell, in the morning slot as of Monday!

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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