Tabs gif by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Harry Reid, Menschendude. (The Nation)

Oh New Hampshire's new abortion law took effect over the weekend, looks like we slept on a good one! — New Hampshire Bulletin

Knoxville Planned Parenthood a total loss. It conceivably might not even have been arson, they will let us know! (Knox News)

Hey states, spare $5.2 billion in welfare funds you're sitting on? — ProPublica

We stopped investing in education and now everyone's a dumbfuck idiot trumper insurrectionist. Will Bunch asks COINCIDENCE? (Philly Inquirer)


This Bulwark guy is trying to make us feel a bit more positive about 2021 and I want to but he's not convincing me, but I appreciate him trying. (Bulwark) Meanwhile, Dave Barry says no, it was bad, and I want to agree! And I like Dave Barry! But I noped out when I saw he was going to start with "January." (Washington Post)

Now that's some fuckin' architecture, Detroit edition! — MLive

Jimmy Carter was in charge of containing the world's first nuclear meltdown, in Ottawa. Then he suggested people put a sweater on and put solar panels on the White House roof, and American shitforbrainses elected a man who costarred with monkeys. (CBC)

Grandmothering, menopause, and the evolution of human life and click click click. — National Institutes of Health

Oh thank God we didn't miss the Williams Sonoma Catalog LOL. (Defector)

From comments I think? Frazil ice! (Frazil ice)



Our Penzey friends are giving you a gift box free, through Tuesday, when you order one. This is not a paid advertisement, I just overshop at Penzeys constantly and putting this here and letting you guys overshop is sort of like if I were overshopping, I think I can almost feel the dopamine kick. (Penzey gift boxes)

I just went looking for an extra spice jar (I like these and these, Wonkette cut links!) and there was a box of overflow spices on top of the box of spice jars and it turned out I had five bags of airdried shallots and two bags of French thyme and what exactly did I buy "cinnamon sugar" for and I just spent two to three hours going through all the spices and putting the bagged spices into big artichoke heart jars and then looking desperately for a place to put the artichoke heart jars and then just sort of lying down on the floor a while about 80 percent done and Shy might be annoyed with me I think. I am on a Penzeys moratorium. I would very much like to take four days off and clean my goddamn house all perfect, or eighty percent perfect and a lot of kitchen floor lying, it is a good thing I still owe me four vacation days from last year (and nine from the year before, but I am not getting those ever), I love the new year!

I did not include the hed tab today because Better Homes & Gardens was being A LUNATIC who said your family only needs one hat, scarf and pair of gloves each WE LIVE IN MONTANA AND NOBODY EVER KNOWS WHERE THE OTHER GLOVE IS. Also, people knit me scarves and they are fuckin beautiful FUCK OFF BETTER HOMES & GARDENS YOU DICK.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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