20 Truly Disgusting Facts About Ancient Roman Life! Tabs, Mon., July 13, 2020

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Homeland Security's new mission, and it chooses to accept it: Defending ... statues. (New York Times)

But first we protected America from this Honduran woman who had just given birth two days before to her US citizen baby when we forced her to walk to Mexico with him, so that's a thing we did. (Buzzfeed)

These "this state governor conquered COVID for their state!" stories make me very nervous, viz Gavin Newsom and also Ron Fucking DeSantis, but anyway here's one about Gina Raimondo and Rhode Island and I guess it seems promising!

The short answer is Raimondo copied the playbook of nations like South Korea and New Zealand that have fared much better than the United States in battling the virus—intensive testing, tracing and isolation plus wear-your-damn-mask policy and messaging—while adding innovative twists through uniquely American public-private partnerships. It doesn't hurt that Rhode Island is home to drugstore giant CVS, which is also the state's largest employer; in part through help from the company, more than 25 percent of Rhode Islanders have been tested, many of them barbers, grocery clerks and other public-facing workers with no symptoms. She persuaded Salesforce to develop a state-of-the-art contact tracing app for Rhode Island for free, while working with Infosys on a location tracking feature and SurveyMonkey on symptom monitoring. Brown University has provided dorms for health care workers who want to remain isolated from their families. Raimondo was also one of the first governors to shut down schools and businesses, ban large businesses and require masks.


Watch these young men listen to "Jolene" for the first time if you like happiness and joy.

FIRST TIME HEARING Dolly Parton - Jolene REACTION www.youtube.com

Waitress Recommends the Shrimp Or Maybe Staying the Fuck at Home. — Reductress

The CDC documents warning that schools will lead to highest coronavirus spread. (WTOP)

So the White House is knifing Dr. Fauci. (NBC News)

It's not just red states. Check out what was happening in California:

Contact tracers were never alerted, for example, to people such as Margaret Cabanis-Wicht and her husband, a 41-year-old movie director in Rancho Palos Verdes who had attended a January gala in Beijing with hundreds from across China.

Twelve days after her husband's return to California, their 5-year-old daughter woke in the night with a 102-degree fever. Cabanis-Wicht had one, too. For days, they hounded their doctors, the state health department and even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But the two were ineligible for coronavirus testing because, though living with a potential carrier, they hadn't left the country.

"We'll never know," Cabanis-Wicht said.

With a positive test result in the household, contact tracers would likely have visited the family, along with each of the children with whom the girl had played. Instead, Cabanis-Wicht watched in horror as school officials soon reported cases of "influenza-like illness" arising in the elementary school. In early March, a parent of a fellow student finally got a test — and turned up positive. [...]

The pileup of samples left the county's testing infrastructure bottlenecked and on the brink of collapse. A county memo asked hospitals to turn away any suspected coronavirus patient with mild symptoms — without a test and without reporting the case.

"Don't call" the public health department, one infection control coordinator wrote in an email to doctors.

LA Times

Wanna see something really scary?

Dan Froomkin annotates Marc Thiessen's dicklick of an interview with our erudite president. — Hypothesis

Hahahahahahahahaha Trump says his sycophants and grifters (whose board of advisers includes Steve Bannon, Tom Tancredo, and Kris Kobach), who gofundme'd the private WALL that is now falling apart, did it to make him "look bad." (ProPublica)

The St. Louis gunhumping mansioneers are massive cocks? Oh yeah baby, are they ever. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Oh, and the police searched their mansion. Bet they knocked. (Reuters)

Interesting: What it's like working on a cop show in 2020. (New York mag)

I made it 9 seconds into this Black woman's video of St. Paul's First Lutheran Church people telling her "welcome" as she sat under a tree on their lawn in North Hollywood. "Am I?" she asks sharply as they put up a No Trespassing sign just for her. "No," they reply. (LA Times)

David Roth and Maria Bustillos murder The Letter. "Please, Seriously? Come On." — Popula

A lovely piece, of course. Steve Martin on "Carl Reiner, Perfect." (NYT)

An hourlong "How Deep Is Your Love"? An hourlong "How Deep Is Your Love."

Bee Gees - How Deep is Your Love (1 Hour Version) www.youtube.com

White beans and kale, because I had white beans and kale, and all this Goya nonsense made me really want a goddamn pot of beans. Not that I needed a recipe, because #dowhatever, but damn Martini promised you pasta e fagioli. (Epicurious)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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