2008: The Campaign Without Teenagers

Hail Satan! - WonketteWhile it's certain that America will pick another crappy president next year, it's increasingly unlikely that the winner will have any teen-aged daughters for the Washington Press Corps to ogle. Why? Experts say it's because most of the major candidates are way too old and scary to have recently reproduced.


Then there are the Rudy Giuliani candidates, who have fathered many children by many different mothers -- but the kids all hate dad's guts because he ruined their lives and abandoned them. This is what people mean when they call Rudy "Reaganesque."

Kids R Us: White House Life After Jenna and Barbara [Reliable Source]

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