2020's Most Garbagest Men
Over the past few years, the primary concern with violent young men has been that they may go on shooting sprees over not getting laid, or because they were otherwise mad at women. This year, it seems, most of them have moved on from extreme misogyny to racism and general John Bircher ... ism, or going around screaming about socialism like so many assholes before them. I don't know what the next phase of this is, but let's just hope it doesn't get worse.
If you don't think deplatforming works — consider this! I totally forgot about Stefan "Lipstick Is Like Wearing A Boner On Your Face" Molyneux's entire existence. He got banned pretty much everywhere earlier this year, and I could tell you absolutely nothing about what he is doing or what he is currently on about. He was particularly sad this past year over getting kicked off of YouTube and being forced to get a normal job, because all he's good at doing is being super racist and sexist all day and regular jobs don't usually appreciate that much. Plus, how is he even going to get by without regular donations from people like *checks notes* Christchurch shooter Brenton Tarrant?
Frankly, we don't care.
The Comedy Stylings of Wohl and Burkman
Here are some other garbage dudes we may not be hearing from for a while. Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman are currently facing 12 years in prison for putting out a bunch of super racist robocalls in several states, including Michigan, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Illinois. Though a part of us will miss their completely ridiculous "press conferences," we will not miss the way they screamed at people mourning Ruth Bader Ginsburg, or literally anything else about them.
The Proud Boys
Where to even begin here? The Proud Boys spent the year being violent, sadistic, racist psychopaths in matching outfits. They showed up at Black Lives Matter protests for the purpose of beating people up for protesting against police brutality. Probably because it is the only way they can feel alive.
Joseph Epstein, who is not a doctor and does not have a doctorate, set off a firestorm this month after writing a bizarre, misogynistic screed in the Wall Street Journal in which he whined that Jill Biden, who is a doctor and has a doctorate, should not call herself Dr. Jill Biden because of how she is not a medical doctor and then proceeded to compare her to several men who hold honorary doctorates, which is not what Dr. Jill Biden has. He sucked.
It also turned out that he wrote a super homophobic article back in the day, and was once very worried that, even though he doesn't necessarily retract any of the things he said, "Noted Homophobe" would be carved on his tombstone. Now it will be "Noted Homophobe and Misogynist," though he may not like that one better.
Tucker Carlson, Duh
Yeah, this is just a given.
Carl Vonhartman (aka Carl Durden)
Oh my gosh, totally forgot about this dude. He's the guy who, back in February, tried to sue a bunch of women he went out on dates with for talking about how much he sucks in a private Facebook group, claiming that this made it hard for him to get a date. This was after he went to the home of one of the women who was "disparaging" him and started screaming her name and calling her a "fat bitch."
Now, pretty much the only thing that is on the internet about him is him suing these women for talking shit about him, which we hope will make it even harder for him to get a date.
Robin Hanson, America's creepiest economist
Who could believe that Robin Hanson, a guy who once argued for a "redistribution of sex" to keep incels from killing people (and compared them to Jean Valjean), would have a terrible take on coronavirus? Probably everyone! And he did! Back in February, he argued that we should just ... start infecting people with it in "waves" so as to not overwhelm the country's medical infrastructure. That sure would have been a bad idea, given that even now we don't really know if having coronavirus makes one immune to coronavirus. Good thing we don't take medical advice from economists. Most of us, anyway.
What is it these days with men going around dressing up in matching outfits and acting like assholes? Unlike the Proud Boys, the "Boogaloo Bois" aren't trying to pretend they're anything they're not. They are preparing for a race war, they want to do some terrorism, and they're not shy about saying so.
The militia dudes who attempted to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer
These fine young men from Michigan were so darned upset over all of the COVID restrictions imposed by Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer that they staked out her house and planned to kidnap her and "put her on trial." Unfortunately for them, this was illegal and now they're all going to jail. Whoops.
Kyle. Just Kyle.
Karens had a bad year, obviously. But you know who also had a bad year? Dudes named Kyle. Though not Kyle Maclachlan, who is the best and the handsomest, thank goodness. But Kyles, as a whole, kinda sucked. There was Kyle Rittenhouse, teen killer, and also Kyle Smith, a pedantic creep from the National Review who doubled down on Joseph Epstein's "Dr. Jill Biden can't call herself a doctor even though she earned a doctorate, because she didn't deliver any babies" shtick, and who has previously been terrible in myriad ways. Kyles are gonna maybe need to chill in 2021.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse