LEVI JOHNSTON HAD TO QUIT HIS JOB: This poor kid. All he ever did was impregnate some 17-year-old girl once, a phenomenon that happens all the fucking time, and his only mistake was impregnating the daughter of some nobody governor whom John McCain decided to pluck from obscurity and parade around the national stage because she had boobs and loved Jesus. Now Levi Johnston, who just wants to work in the oil fields of the North Slope -- a ball-freezingly cold and thankless job if ever there was one -- can't even do that without people getting all worked up about whether or not he has a high school diploma or not. So whee, he doesn't have a diploma, so now he can't be an electrical apprentice, and still these tragic Johnstons are no more or less trashy than 98 percent of America so just LAY OFF ALREADY. [Anchorage Daily News]

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