• EAT A BAG OF LOW-FAT NUTRIENT-DENSE DICKS, JOHN MACKEY: The CEO of Whole Foods is a big fan of Ayn Rand, did you know that? Which explains why his solution to America's healthcare crisis is for people to quit being so goddamn lazy and eat more healthy vegetables, which are easily procured for $4.99 a pound at Whole Foods! Meanwhile, a study shows that people on food stamps get fatter because you cannot buy healthy $4.99-a-pound vegetables when you are on food stamps. [Wall Street Journal, Science Daily]

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