C'MON PAGES, GET THE REST OF CONGRESS SICK: "Ten House pages were treated over the weekend for 'flu-like symptoms' in a potential outbreak of swine flu, the House Office of the Clerk announced Monday." Those wretched rugrats, never washing their hands, coughing all over their Play-Do! Well, whichever members of Congress get sick first, we'll know they've been schtupping the pages. [The Hill]