Drink Like a Petulant Child At Chuck E. Cheese
Why, oh why, would you go to a bar just to drink and talk when there are so many other ways to have fun at drinking establishments? People in DC are moderately interesting, but once you get passed the formalities (Where do you work? How many men do you bunk with? Do you let people shower with you?), conversation tends to get stale. But anything reminiscent of a Chuck E. Cheese activity is super fun and will keep you entertained well past any bedroom revelations.
Places in DC that will offer you much more than just a drink:
Iron horse Tap Room: This new(ish) bar in Penn Quarter has 20 beers on tap, big screen teevees, lots of them in fact, and most importantly, its basement has four shuffleboard tables, two skee-ball machines, buck hunter, and multiple foosball and pinball machines. The fun may be relegated to the basement, but the nice part is that you don't feel like you've left a nice establishment to go play.
The Front Page: Ever wanted to play with a Wii, but, shucks, you can't afford one on your measly salary? Look no further than the Front Page in Ballston. Monday and Sunday nights, from 8PM to closing, are Wii nights when you can bowl, or play tennis or golf to your heart's desire.
Rock and Roll Hotel: This venue offers a lot more than just drinks, or rather it offers you fun activities to do while drunk like, listen to music, play Jenga, spell at their Friday night Spelling Bee, or play ping pong at their Monday night ping pong tournaments.
H Street County Club: Drinking should always be accompanied by the opportunity to play mini golf, shuffleboard, and skee-ball, just as it is at the H Street Country Club. It offers plenty of fun activities for your enjoyment, as well as delicious Mexican food.
The Red Derby: At this dive bar in Columbia Heights, worshiped by hipsters for its extensive beer can offerings, you can play DJ, pool, and/or just about any board game you want, including our personal favorite, Connect Four, though we wish they had Stratego, your Wonkabout's childhood board game of choice.
Comet Ping Pong: Not only can you enjoy pizza and beer and this restaurant, but, as the name implies, the place also has ping pong tables. Just don't get stuck playing on the kids table; it's not quite as conducive to showing off your awesome backhand.