6 Out Of 10 Football Fans Agree: Donald Trump Should Go Munch AstroTurf


Remember how Donald Trump, yappy racist-in-chief, thinks he's winning the fight he picked with NFL football players exercising their First Amendment right to take a knee during the national anthem to draw attention to police brutality and racism in America? We're not inside the president's addled brain, but we're guessing his "thinking" is predicated on the misguided belief that, unlike other sports enthusiasts, fans of NFL FOOOOOBAAWWWWWWWWW are much more likely to be flag-wavin', gun-totin', Bible-believin' heartland Americans, therefore they will ALL agree with Trump that their football heroes who happen to be black should really pipe the fuck down and stop reminding everybody that they're black, and if they insist on doing so, those sumbitches' "owners" should tell them YOU'RE FIRED!

Like we said, Trump's "reasoning" here, to use the term loosely, is dumbfucking wrongstupid. Americans, from Jeff Sessions's Alabama Bible study buddies to vegan armpit-heads in Portland, like sports a lot. Yes, some liberals are all "I do not prefer the sports balling!" but they are doing that mostly because they think they're being cute. The point is that being a sports fan really ain't got shit to do with a person's political leanings.

(Unless it's a NASCAR fan who thinks sitting down and turning left is a "sport.")

(And we imagine figure skating fans probably skew pretty lib-gay I'M WITH HER GURL!)

ANYWAY, LET'S LOOK AT A POLL, because Reuters/Ipsos decided to ask football fans what they think about the issues of the day.


NFL fans: Why yes, that would be jolly good. Pip pip! Will there be scones at the concession stand?

Question two: Do you agree with Donald Trump that those guys taking a knee are "sons of bitches" who should be fired from playing football?

NFL fans: Honestly don't fucking care as long as my local sports team prevails in the weekly scuffle!

Or more accurately, without jokes:

The Sept. 25-26 poll found that 57 percent of adults do not think the National Football League should fire players who kneel. This included 61 percent of NFL fans who watch at least a few games per season. [...]

In addition, 53 percent of Americans do not think it is appropriate for the president to comment on “how the NFL and its players conduct themselves during the national anthem.”

Only 29% say those football players definitely should be fired. In other words, the lowest common denominator deplorables of Trump's base agree with him. The rest of America? PFFFFFFT.

Now, a deeper dive into the poll shows that a lot of American football fans are experiencing mixed feelings on the issue. 58% say athletes should be required to stand for the anthem, which shows some overlap with those who also believe they should not be YOU'RE FIRED if they don't. Only 40% unequivocally support the knee-taking, but Reuters points out that's a 12 point jump from last year. Visibility works, y'all!

The point is, this is a losing fight for Trump, and he, the Art of the Deal salesman who should be able to read his customers (the American people), simply can't seem to get through his ugly fucking orange skull that normal people aren't filled with white hot white supremacist rage at black people GETTIN' TOO GODDAMN UPPITY!

Donald Trump's dumb face was just on our TV bitching about football players again, predicting that if these protests don't stop, the NFL will die of starvation, because obviously everybody in America will stop watching football because of the racist shit-fit Trump's having in his skid-marked underpants right now.

Question three: Is that really going to happen?

NFL fans: LOL this is your face right now, Donald Trump!

The end.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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