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A 2020 Democratic Primary Primer, For Kids!

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Did you know that your humble Shypixel loves you all, and wants you to be happy?

He does.

That's why he wrote you this completely original and non-derivative book, which is 100% original and also very unique.


This revolutionary and bold work of literature and wonder of art (none of which was copied) will help guide you through the increasingly complicated maze that is the 2020 Democratic Presidential Primary.

Click the pic so you may read, but seriously, let's not be dillweeds.

So vote Democratic in 2020, with a goat, and ON A TOTE!!! In a jug and with a mug! And if you love our little bits, then you can wear them on your tits!

And once you throw us all some bread, now here is your OPEN THREAD.

Shypixel is a world renowned novice beekeeper, and needs YOUR help to continue buying crap for his bees, so they will make all the honey this summer. Send him and the rest of Wonkette money with Paypal or Stripe.

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The South just can't quit their memorials to racist traitors. They regularly pitch a fit if black folks try to take down a statue honoring people who fought and died to keep us slaves. Now someone from the heritage and totally not hate crowd has proposed building a brand new one in the rural town of Taneytown, Maryland.

Sculptor Gary Casteel swears up and down, though, that the project is in truth not a Confederate monument but a National Civil War Memorial, a "balanced educational tool." The planned circular monument would measure 90 feet in diameter and feature 16 military leaders and 16 civilians. And then it gets weird.

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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