A Children's Treasury Of Conservatives In Hollywood

This morning, President Donald J. Trump sent out an important tweet.

WELL! Yesterday, Old Dad told me he knew I worked very hard, "sitting on Twitter," and after I completely lost my shit at him, he backpedaled, saying that he "knows Twitter is a very important part of [my] job" and after I lost my shit at him some more, I went on Twitter and helped the president out with some other reviews of conservative actors in Hollywood.

If you followed me on Twitter, you'd be home to these jokes by now.

The President's White House Tour of Hollywood Conservatives, by me, Donald Trump

Craig T. Nelson

Craig T. Nelson is one of the best guys in TV. He only got welfare and food stamps until he became a TV star, when he explained that welfare and food stamps are for losers, unlike him, one of THE BEST!

Larry Miller

Larry Miller is so funny! He was in all the movies with the queers and the tall lez. That part of the dog contest movie where he's a hostage negotiator who threatens to throw his son off the roof! I didn't get the rest of it, but man that part was great! ROOF THROWING!

Clint Eastwood


The director. Clint. Clint. Well, Clint. That guy's brain is kinda freaky, huh? Kinda scary? Don't think I'd want to be a woman or a the black in Clint's movie world. Frankly, between you and I, guy's a psycho. HAD A MONKEY!


All the guys from Cheers, just all of em. Cliff, Frasier, the producers, probably everyone except Sam Malone and maybe the dingy blonde, TOO SKINNY! Never SHUTS HER NASTY MOUTH! That guy thought he got babes? I got babes. Didn't even hardly have to pay them at all. They thought I'd buy 'em something nice later. I didn't. AMERICA.

Tim Allen

Tim Allen! What a person who has appeared in many things. Very manly. Manly guy. Very oppressed being a white man in today's America but that doesn't stop him from being rich. TOOL TIME!

Scott Baio

Scott Baio! Chachi, Chachi, Chachi. Boy, you're a 50-year-old woman, you were in love with Chachi, huh? At least I assume, I don't know any of those. Little Chachi, Scott Baio, man, what a beautiful guy. You know, he's always accused of being racist, but his wife is friends with a the black. CHACHI!

This has been jokes you could have seen on Twitter already.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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