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A Children's Treasury of Dumb Quotes About Dismal Holiday Sales

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Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis.Congratulations, the War on Xmas is over. And guess who lost? Christmas! And the economy. Especially the economy. Looks like all the 70%-off sales in the world can't squeeze money out of people with no money and no credit. It's almost as if Santa left a lump of shit coal for U.S. Retailers! How many other variations of Seasonal Cliche can we squeeze out of American journalists and economists?


  • "Retailers went from 'Ho-ho' to 'Uh-oh' to 'Oh-no.'" [Wall Street Journal]
  • "Big shopping weekend was ho-ho-hum." [Associated Press]
  • "However, it's a red Christmas for retailers -- as in red ink." [1010WINS]
  • "Ho-ho-hum weekend for struggling city retailers." [New York Daily News]
  • "Data will contain nothing but coal this week." [Marketwatch]
  • "A lump of coal for the holiday sales elf." [AP]
  • "Santa swung a lighter sack this Christmas as shoppers bought less and paid less." [Vancouver Province]
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