A Children’s Treasury of Random Wingnut Post-Election Butthurt (Part Douche)
As we have alreadypretty much established, America is Over Now, so all that's left is just sitting around and waiting for the last few remaining embers of Freedom to burn out. If we're really lucky, the Ancient Mayans or Space Jebus will just smash the Earth and be done with it. So let us see what further Elevated Whining there is to review.
To start with, there's Orson Scott Card, the Mormon propagandist / anti-ghey crusader / science fiction writer who wrote one pretty good novel (OK, and his early stories were often quite nice, too) but has of late declined into a sad, right-wing parody of himself. He has discovered the truly perfidious villains responsible for the reelection of Barack Hussein Obama. You will be astonished to know that it's all the fault of the Liberal Media!
To you newspeople at CBS, CNN, ABC, NBC. To you journalists at the New York Times, the Washington Post, at newspapers all over America.
You did it. You won. You were able to get Barack Obama his second term.
You knew that if you told the American people the truth, they would not have reelected this man.
Americans don't vote to reelect a commander-in-chief who abandons our soldiers and agents and ambassadors when they're under enemy fire.
But you, confident that you are much wiser than the American people, you decided we had no reason to think about this during the election.
Card then goes on to identify the precise bit of information that would have turned the whole election around:
You knew that Obama lied to cover up this culpable negligence, and then lied about lying. You had the video, CBS, which you could have aired immediately after the second debate, exposing him for the liar that he is.
Instead you held it back until two days before the election, when other stories predominated.
If you have no idea what CBS video Card is talking about (and does he provide a link or an explanation? Of course not!), welcome to the club. It turns out that it's this thing, which further tweaks the total number of pin-head-dancing angels regarding Obama's remarks the day after the Benghazi attack. See, we were thinking that maybe it was video of Barry saying, "Yeah, I withheld an AC-130 attack and a Delta Force rescue mission just so I could watch Ambassador Stevens die...in hi-def." But we suppose that it is indeed possible that maybe the horrific lie that is Barack Obama might have completely unraveled if we'd had this one bit of tape to help us parse whether he meant "terrorist attack" when he said "act of terror."
Also, Card thinks that Obama's withholding of some of the documents in the "Fast And Furious" investigation is worthy of impeachment, and that Obama's handling of Hurricane Sandy is objectively far more incompetent than George Bush's handling of Katrina, and that there's only one place we learn about these important truths:
You have to attack Fox News and sneer at them and accuse them of bias, don't you -- because they're actually doing the job you merely pretend to do. They shame you by their genuinely balanced coverage, so you have to lie and accuse them of being what you are: ideological hacks, providing propaganda in order to advance a cause, while hiding the unhelpful truth
We should note that in Card's nearly unreadable novel Empire, the good guy actually enlists the help of Bill O'Reilly to warn America of her mortal peril in the face of a liberal conspiracy to overthrow the government with an army of giant robots (the conspiracy is funded by a character who's clearly a stand-in for George Soros). Yes, that is a completely accurate description of this novel, which was written as a tie-in to a video game.
We should also note that it's perhaps understandable that Mr. Card thinks that a nation can be easily led and manipulated by a media conspiracy -- after all, a central plot point of Ender's Game involves two kids shaping planetary opinion through their highly influential posts to the novel's version of the interwebs, and [spoiler alert!] the main character himself kind of unintentionally genocides an entire alien race because he is given a very limited stream of information by The Powers That Be. But it's OK, because he meant well -- which appears to be the only reason Orson Scott Card has left for putting up with his fellow citizens, the poor sheeple. As John Scalzi says, whatever strengths Card has as a novelist, "as a social thinker he’s far deep into my 'oh, bless his heart' territory."
And then there's this incoherent screaming by Mary Matalin on CNN, which we somehow missed the day after the election:
Mandate? He has no mandate! What's his mandate for? Giving ladies whore pills? MITT ROMNEY IS A GENTLEMAN YOU COMMUNIST! Obama is incredibly divisive, and I don't care what you think!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.