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It's really kind of sad that Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro put up this tweet mere minutes after the ultra-conservative Supreme Court approved socialist healthcare in America forever, because it's like he didn't even try to let other people post their own insanely hyperbolic screed before writing the Platonic ideal of one. You know how it's kind of annoying that sportscasters and such use "literally" to mean not "literally" but "I am using figurative language but very, very strongly"? Well, Ben Shapiro has established new heights that make misuse of "literally" literally look like prose that Strunk & White's ghosts would masturbate to. From now on, every paragraph about anything you don't like ends in "This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration." But other people were ludicrous too, so let's look at what they had to say.

Probably-not-2012-VP pick Marco Rubio was totally for Obamacare until he found out it was a TAX, you guys. Now he's against it!

Lovable crazy person Pamela Geller watched Obama's victory speech and caught the clue that America is in fact over now:

The real question is, why weren't then tons of Russian flags in the frame? Because that's where we live now: Stalinist Russia.

The Tea Party Patriots (a dumb name, Tea Party members are patriots by definition) put out the following important press release:

"The Supreme Court ruled against the American people today," said Jenny Beth Martin, Co-Founder and National Coordinator of Tea Party Patriots. "The American people overwhelming[sic] oppose Obamacare. Now more than ever it is time for the American people to band together and take our government back. Americans agree with what Justice Kennedy said in the dissenting opinion that 'the entire Act before us is invalid in its entirety.' We are putting all politicians on notice that we will not rest until this law is overturned it’s in entirety."

Wouldn't it be kind of great, if the Supreme Court could just rule against the entire American people, on principle, because we're losers? Give us like three days to get out?

Sadly, Erick Erickson proclaimed that he is "not down on Roberts". But his commenters are! And on Romney!

Yes, imagine what Perry's response would have been! It would have been hilarious, considering he'd have been out of his mind on painkillers. Painkillers that he didn't buy with any of your dag-gummed Obamacare.

Oh, also, lots of people on Twitter swore they would move to Canada, to escape socialized medicine, which we don't even know where to begin with that. Also, Mike Pence, who is a Congressman and the leading Indiana gubernatorial candidate and not at all a fringe figure, said that the Supreme Court decision was as bad as 9/11, but then he apologized, leaving Ben Shapiro the Wingnut Obamacare Freakout Winner, as of 3 pm today.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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