A WEAKSADLOWENERGY Wonkette Moneybeg Because We're Fine Really But We Need Money Every Month, Not Just Some

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Feed the children so they don't eat US!

Are you tired of Wonkette asking for all your money? HONEY ME TOO. So I am not going to write a long weepy harangue about FEED THE CHILDREN (my children) and OH NO WONKETTE IS EXPIRING (weak cough, weak cough, who turned out the lights!). You sent us a lot of money last month! I don't even like asking for more! Hence why it is already March 25 and I'm only now sidling up next to you and half-heartedly sticking you up, seeee! Stick 'em ... zzzzz.

But it is Wonkette's job to hire smart people to write you a dozen or so newses a weekday (and half that on weekends) and then ask you for money for paying them, and it is your job to read every Wonkette smart people post or else to read several posts three times a month, and then give us money for paying for them. When you have it. If you do not have money, do not send me money, no good here, GIT OUT! I mean stay, but also do not send me money.

Unless you have some money! If you have some money, and you rely on Wonkette to be there when something, or really anything, happens, then please think about giving us some of it EVERY MONTH EVEN, like with a recurring donation. Maybe $5 or $10! Maybe less, or more! Whatever, you're an adult, you know what you can afford.

This dumb post, which should be singularly unsuccessful in getting you to give us money, what am I a professional moneybeggar don't answer that, is staying up top FOREVER. Or till like Saturday probably.

Click the widget below, choose an amount, one-time or monthly, and whether you're Stripe (credit cards) or Paypal, if you want to money us! Click the headline if you want some OPEN THREAD!

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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