A Liveblog of Huckabee, WALNUTS! and Mittens' Simultaneous Acceptance Speeches

michigancheerleader.jpgI meant to just do a quick one-time liveblog of Huckabee's loser speech; next thing you know they're all going at the same time. Enjoy the sloppy three-part liveblog after the jump.

9:11 -- Country music playing, because he's in South Carolina. Wife looks fat, so so fa-- 9:11!

9:12 -- "There is world of hurt out there in America." And for that, you can thank my son David.

9:13 -- "I'm cumming from you." Aww shucks, I wasn't THAT good, Mikey.

9:13 -- America's looking forward to the government leaving us alone, which is why I'm here harassing your small bar talking about putting me in the government.

9:14 -- Oh, here come the jokes: Vote for me or I'll slash your tires or feed you to my Jesus fish.

9:15 -- HE SAID REAGAN WAS IN FOURTH IN 1980! Maybe fourth to Zeus (Poseidon, that would be?), but certainly nothing less.

9:16 -- My pastor used to tell me about getting kicks in the butt. The metaphor aspect only applies to the "kicks" part.

Gah! Fox interrupted Huckabee for John McCain's speech. I guess we should talk about WALNUTS NOW!:

9:17 -- I don't mind a fight! I fought when I was tortured.

Gah pt. 2! Fox interrupted WALNUTS! now to show Mittens. Apparently he wouldn't wait for McCain to finish -- where did this guy's class go? Meh, I liveblogs what I sees:

9:19 -- Romney admits he thought he had no fucking chance after New Hamsters.

9:20 -- In Washington they're worrying, because they know I'm coming! This is a positive message for me!

9:20 -- Washington has no ethics, Washington has high taxes, Washington has high gas prices...

9:21 -- ... Washington has abortions, Washington has the government, Washington has insiders...

9:21 -- ... Washington... they've got... nothing works in Washington... gotta get in there...

9:22 -- Wash... European-style gov... All these fags in the DCs... illegals... Reagan?

9:23 -- REAGAN! Back on track.

9:24 -- Reagan never accepted defeat, and neither will I!

9:25 -- Washington is broken! I said that? You pinko. Washington for the Romneys.

9:25 -- gtg buy more money thanks fans blah bye.

Thanks for staggering your speeches, Fox cocks.


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