I meant to just do a quick one-time liveblog of Huckabee's loser speech; next thing you know they're all going at the same time. Enjoy the sloppy three-part liveblog after the jump.
9:11 -- Country music playing, because he's in South Carolina. Wife looks fat, so so fa-- 9:11!
9:12 -- "There is world of hurt out there in America." And for that, you can thank my son David.
9:13 -- "I'm cumming from you." Aww shucks, I wasn't THAT good, Mikey.
9:13 -- America's looking forward to the government leaving us alone, which is why I'm here harassing your small bar talking about putting me in the government.
9:14 -- Oh, here come the jokes: Vote for me or I'll slash your tires or feed you to my Jesus fish.
9:15 -- HE SAID REAGAN WAS IN FOURTH IN 1980! Maybe fourth to Zeus (Poseidon, that would be?), but certainly nothing less.
9:16 -- My pastor used to tell me about getting kicks in the butt. The metaphor aspect only applies to the "kicks" part.
Gah! Fox interrupted Huckabee for John McCain's speech. I guess we should talk about WALNUTS NOW!:
9:17 -- I don't mind a fight! I fought when I was tortured.
Gah pt. 2! Fox interrupted WALNUTS! now to show Mittens. Apparently he wouldn't wait for McCain to finish -- where did this guy's class go? Meh, I liveblogs what I sees:
9:19 -- Romney admits he thought he had no fucking chance after New Hamsters.
9:20 -- In Washington they're worrying, because they know I'm coming! This is a positive message for me!
9:20 -- Washington has no ethics, Washington has high taxes, Washington has high gas prices...
9:21 -- ... Washington has abortions, Washington has the government, Washington has insiders...
9:21 -- ... Washington... they've got... nothing works in Washington... gotta get in there...
9:22 -- Wash... European-style gov... All these fags in the DCs... illegals... Reagan?
9:23 -- REAGAN! Back on track.
9:24 -- Reagan never accepted defeat, and neither will I!
9:25 -- Washington is broken! I said that? You pinko. Washington for the Romneys.
9:25 -- gtg buy more money thanks fans blah bye.
Thanks for staggering your speeches, Fox cocks.
