A Look Back At The Long Political Career of Ben Quayle


Dan Quayle's weird kid, Congressman Ben, has had a long, fruitful tour through the halls of American power. He made his name writing pornography about all the bitchez he slammed in Scottsdale, for a blog. He made a comical ad where he called Barack Obama the worst president in history. He made more dumb creepy ads. He won his 2010 congressional race thanks to the big bucks he pulled in from daddy's friends, like George H.W. Bush. Then he went party swimming in the Sea of Galilee, to procure water for his daughter's baptism. And last night he lost his congressional primary, ha ha ha. He's done. Boo!

But he had such potential!

Freshman Rep. Ben Quayle lost Tuesday night to fellow first-term Rep. David Schweikert in a fierce member vs. member GOP primary in Arizona, a stinging defeat after Quayle’s years-long struggle to shed his image as the privileged scion of political royalty.

With four-fifths of precincts reporting, Schweikert was leading Quayle, 53 percent to 47 percent and the Associated Press called the race. Redistricting thrust the two incumbents into battle for a Scottsdale-area seat.

Schweikert attacked Quayle mercilessly throughout the primary, telling voters he owes his position in Congress to his father’s name and connections. And Quayle’s past life gave Schweikert no shortage of other ammunition: Quayle was forced years ago to admit writing under a pseudonym for TheDirty.com, a racy site about Scottsdale nightlife, and had to contend with a picture that emerged of him partying in a cow costume.

It's a shame. He was one of our absolute favorite targets for persecution. But now he will have to go back to writing blog pornography, like the rest of us, the end.



How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc