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The New York Times fucked up its story about Paul Manafort and his assistant Rick Gates giving Trump campaign internal polling/voter models/whatever to his RUSSIAN SPY BUDDY Konstantin Kilimnik. This happened because the New York Times fucks up a lot, EXPLANATION OVER, GOODBYE!

OK we are just fooling!

Wonkette had wildly speculated, and the Times went on to report, that Manafort and Gates had passed that data -- in an ongoing way, it seems -- to Kilimnik to give it to Manafort's former boss, Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska (AKA "Putin's favorite oligarch"), to whom Manafort owed MANY MONEYS, and to whom Manafort had bizarrely offered private briefings on the Trump campaign. Trouble is, the Times was wrong about the "Deripaska" part. But that doesn't mean he isn't part of this story, because he very much is. Hell, in our last post, we noted how Deripaska sent Kilimnik to meet with Manafort and deliver secret messages unto him on August 2, 2016, and that Manafort and Kilimnik discussed the DNC hack and the Trump campaign at that meeting. All that's still true. And Deripaska is still connected to the Australian-Israeli "social media expert" Joel Zamel, who participated in a meeting at Trump Tower on August 3, 2016, the day after Manafort's meeting with Kilimnik, and who reportedly offered a multi-million dollar ratfucking plan to Donald Trump Jr., to be bankrolled by the Saudis and the Emiratis. (That meeting was ARRANGED BY ERIK PRINCE, by the way.)

The Times has issued a correction, saying that the intended target for the secret polling data (we tend to agree with Steve Schmidt that it was probably much more extensive than just internal polls) wasn't Deripaska, but rather these two pro-Russia Ukrainian oligarchs, Serhiy Lyovochkin and Rinat Akhmetov.

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT FIRST UNPRONOUNCEABLE GUY?


Serhiy Lyovochkin is a member of the Ukrainian parliament, and a former member of the pro-Russia Party of Regions in Ukraine, the one Paul Manafort did much of his Ukrainian ratfucking work for. You see, back in 2011, Manafort worked for the then-president of Ukraine, Viktor Yanukovych, on a professional smear campaign of his opponent Yulia Tymoshenko, whom Yanukovych had LOCK HER UPPED for what lovers of freedom and democracy everywhere saw as nakedly political reasons. Manafort and his pals were tasked with whitewashing Yanukovych's actions, by proving Tymoshenko did Benghazi with Vince Foster during her time at the Clinton Foundation. Rick Gates was part of the project, and so was Konstantin Kilimnik, A RUSSIAN SPY.

Lyovochkin was part of that business too, because at the time he was Yanukovych's chief of staff. In fact, Rick Gates testified that Lyovochkin secretly funneled payments (millions of dollars) to Manafort's accounts in Cyprus for that work! (And who else was a big financial supporter of that work for the Party of Regions? Deripaska.)

So Lyovochkin is a bigwig.

But wait there's more!

Remember that time Robert Mueller bagged another witch in his witch hunt, man by the name of Sam Patten, an associate of both Manafort's and Kilimnik's who pleaded guilty to acting as an unregistered foreign agent, and used a straw purchaser to funnel an illegal $50,000 donation to the Trump inauguration from a Ukrainian oligarch so they could all go to the festivities together? He's now cooperating with Mueller's investigation! Patten did that for ... Serhiy Lyovochkin!

Here is an article Lyovochkin wrote in U.S. News & World Report just after Trump's inauguration about how fuckin' badass Trump was going to be for Ukraine, because of course that exists.

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT SECOND UNPRONOUNCEABLE GUY?

The second unprounceable guy is Rinat Akhmetov, who is not to be confused with Rinat Akhmetshin, the Russian-American spy lobbyist who attended the June Trump Tower meeting with Donald Trump Jr. There is more than one Rinat in the sea, everyone, and there's more than one whose last name starts with "Akhmet" who shows up as a character in this multi-national conspiracy to subvert American democracy!

Rinat Akhmetov is another big pro-Russia Ukrainian oligarch Manafort has worked for, and he's a MONEY MAN. In fact, he's the richest guy in all of Ukraine. Akhmetov was an early backer of Yanukovych, and also supported the Party of Regions and the work Manafort did for it. In fact, Akhmetov was the guy who recruited Manafort in the first place, and also in fact, Manafort was working for Akhmetov when he hooked up with Oleg Deripaska, who then hired Manafort to make millions doing some fun and fulfilling work for the benefit of Vladimir Putin.

Fun fact: Former US ambassador to Ukraine John Herbst has referred to the Party of Regions as a "haven for mobsters." That's not to say Akhmetov is connected to organized crime, because his lawyers don't like it when people say that. Politifact clearly states that it has found "no convincing evidence" of that, and PolitiFact is pretty smart. But that's still a fun fact.

ANYBODY ELSE WHOSE NAME WE SHOULD KNOW AND IMMEDIATELY FORGET, WHILE WE'RE AT IT?

Well maybe! Akhmetov and Manafort are acquainted with another pro-Russia Ukrainian oligarch named Dmytro Firtash, who lives in exile in Austria and whom the feds say is in the "upper echelon ... of Russian organized crime." He also had connections to Cambridge Analytica, the now defunct company funded by the Mercers that did all that data work for the Trump campaign. Weird! Anyway, we don't know how close Akhmetov and Firtash are, but they were in the Party of Regions financial backers club, OK?

Firtash has tried to do business with Manafort before: He partnered with Manafort and Deripaska back in 2008 on a potentially insanely lucrative Manahattan skyscraper project, in which investigative journalist Seth Hettena explains that Firtash was widely understood to be a front man for Semion Mogilevich, the Ukrainian-born head of the Russian mob. (Want to go deeper down that rabbit hole? Click here.) Anyway, WOMP WOMP, the deal fell through. It sure looked like it could've ended up being a front for some serious international money laundering, though! (You know, allegedly.)

Of course, the Russian mob is deeply entwined with the Russian government and Russian intelligence, and it seems like you can draw a pretty straight line from some of Manafort's Ukrainian pals directly to all three of those entities. Hey, remember all those times Paul Manafort wouldn't flip, and then when he did flip, he seems to have totally fake flipped and just kept committing crimes? Remember how we always wondered if there was something he was way more scared of than Robert Mueller, like polonium?

Anyway, SO MANY FUCKING NAMES AND PLACES AND DATES AND TIMES, but now you know a bit about Paul Manafort's new friends, who are in fact his very old friends.

Fun fact: When the feds raided Paul Manafort's condo, the affidavit that accompanied the search warrant listed four oligarchs, as Marcy Wheeler reports: Deripaska, Firtash, Akhmetov, and Aras Agalarov, the Russian oligarch who threw the Moscow Miss Universe pageant in 2013 with Trump, and with whom Trump tried to launch his first failed Moscow Trump Tower project.

Another fun fact, as Wheeler points out on Twitter: After Manafort had his Russian spy buddy give his Trump campaign dirts to the pro-Russia Ukrainian oligarchs we have just met in this post, Manafort emailed his accountant and said that in November 2016, he expected to be paid $2.4 million for Ukraine work. How weird is that? Pretty weird if you ask us!

IN CONCLUSION!

Now, does this correction mean that all the collusion it seemed like we found in the Manafort filing is suddenly a moot point, because the New York Times fucked up and listed the wrong oligarchs? LOL NOPE. First of all, Manafort's buddy Kilimnik is A FUCKING RUSSIAN SPY. So whatever secret internal polling/voter data Manafort had, he gave it to A RUSSIAN SPY. Did Kilimnik ultimately hand that over to Deripaska? We actually don't know the answer to that. We just know that Manafort asked Kilimnik to give it to these pro-Russia Ukrainian oligarchs, so they could do ?????? with it.

We guess we'll learn the answers in due time.

For now, you may have an OPEN THREAD.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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