A Short, Mean Post About Tulsi Gabbard, In Advance Of Tuesday's Primaries!
There is more voting tomorrow in the Democratic primary, so everybody wash your hands so you don't get the coronavirus at the polls!
Anyway, tomorrow is Not-Quite-As-Super Tuesday, and if you live in Michigan, Missouri, Mississippi, Washington, Idaho, North Dakota, or if you are a Democrats Abroad, it's your turn to vote. Sorry if your candidate is not in the race anymore, just kidding, your candidate is obviously Tulsi Gabbard, and she is still in the race, so you get to vote for her!
Yes, that's right, in lieu of a serious forecast-y blog post about what is likely to happen on Not-Quite-As-Super Tuesday — Biden is going to clean up, and tomorrow's states are the most favorable map for Bernie Sanders left on the schedule, and the math nerds at FiveThirtyEight are now giving Biden a 95 percent chance of winning the nomination, but we guess things could change! — we have chosen to just be mean to Tulsi Gabbard, for no reason besides boredom.
There are two important #TulsiFacts you need to know going into tomorrow's voting, and especially on Saturday for the long-awaited Northern Mariana Islands primary, which Wonkette will of course be liveblogging all day.
She Ain't In The Next Fuckin' Debate
The DNC did a #RIGGED again, by saying that if a candidate wants to be in the March 15 debate, they need to have quote-unquote "delegates" to qualify, now that people in a number of states have actually voted. They say you have to have 20 percent of the delegates, how unfair is that! Tulsi Gabbard currently has two. No, not two percent, two delegates.
Kabir Khanna from CBS News explained what would need to happen between now and that debate — during tomorrow's voting and in the Northern Marianas primary on Saturday — for Gabbard to reach the threshold:
If all available delegates have been allocated by this point, this new @DNC debate qualification rule implies thres… https://t.co/jKQFlHubE8— Kabir Khanna (@Kabir Khanna) 1583528037.0
See, she's almost there. Just 371 delegates to go, and she's in!
You know, unless Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders decide to #UnrigTheDebate and start lobbying the DNC to right this wrong:
.@JoeBiden @BernieSanders I’m sure you would agree that our Democratic nominee should be a person who will stand up… https://t.co/aEIxeE3iKL— Tulsi Gabbard 🌺 (@Tulsi Gabbard 🌺) 1583552556.0
Bernie? Joe? Bernie? Bernie? Joe? Joe? Anyone?
No?
And that leads us to our next #TulsiFact you need to know, which is ...
Only YOU Can Make TULSI-MENTUM A Thing!
And you're probably not going to do that, so ...
Have Fun Voting For Biden Or Sanders Tomorrow!
That's really where the race is, and like we said, unless things change significantly, it looks like Biden is starting to run away with this thing. After the much heralded Northern Marianas Primary this weekend, next Tuesday comes Ohio, Arizona, Florida and Illinois, which also looks very favorable for Biden. According to some current projections, Biden will hit the 1,991-delegate threshold all by himself — that means without the help of super-delegates, which aren't even a thing until the second round of voting at the convention — sometime in early to mid-May. (If you want to look at all kinds of projections, click here.)
But again ...
Only YOU Can Make Tulsi-Mentum A Thing!
And yet you are still not going to. Because you, yourself, are #RIGGED.
The end.
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