A Significant Portion Of The American Public Has Gone Absolutely Bugf*ck

This local news report on an insane anti-mask protest in St. George, Utah, from August 21 has gone so viral in the past 24 hours that it is featured on literally all sections of the internet right now. If you somehow have not seen it, please watch it and weep for your country.

It is not an "SNL" sketch. The local news reporter, Katie Karalis, interviews people at the protest and pushes back NOT AT ALL against the batshit claims made by these people, who vote. (Good job, local news reporter! You are WINNER.)

There's the child who incorrectly says the flu kills more people than the coronavirus. That kid's parents vote. There is the woman who — really — said, "When George Floyd was saying 'I can't breathe,' and then he died. And now we're wearing a mask, and we say 'I can't breathe,' but we're being forced to wear it anyway!" (SPOILER, that lady does not appear to have died of "mask." She votes, though, we bet.)

There's the old woman who says:

"I'll tell ya another reason I hate masks -- most child molesters love 'em!"

That is this QAnon crap, and it is bugfuck. That old lady has been convinced that "most" child molesters just love masks, and no we don't know why these people think imaginary "child molesters" just loooove masks, but she probably votes.

The local journalist doesn't push back on claims that coronavirus is a "hoax" or that "asymptomatic carriers simply do not exist."

People on the internet really want to believe this video is some sort of hoax. It does feel like an "SNL" sketch, it is such a parody of itself.

It's real, y'all. A significant portion of the American population has gone utterly bugfuck. And they follow literally the stupidest man alive on the entire planet, who happens to be the sitting president of the United States. He feeds off their bugfuck, and they feed off his bugfuck.

Hey, here he is yesterday in California, where it is literally on fire, telling a real scientist that ACTUALLY global warming is fake, and that it's going to start getting cooler any minute now:

And that's when President Rake-The-Forest wasn't talking about how forest fires are caused by EXPLOSIVE TREES THAT EXPLODE. Because that's a thing he said.

And you know why else we don't like SPLODEY TREES? Because child molesters just LOVE 'em!

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

We are 49 days from the election. Seven weeks. All the news is like this right now. For evidence of that, stay tuned to your local Wonkette today! And catch up on Trump idiot Michael Caputo, the science-free moron most famous for showing up just about everywhere in the Trump-Russia scandal, who now works at the Department of Health and Human Services to feverishly bury actual science on the pandemic from the CDC. In case you didn't hear, he's yelping on Facebook that the CDC and the armed liberals are going to murder him, and he's seeing very long shadows on his ceiling, and they are scare him.

Again, 49 days. If we don't beat the absolute crap out of these people WITH VOTES, MICHAEL CAPUTO, STOP PISSING YOUR PANTS, on November 3, we ain't gonna have a country anymore.

Plan your fucking vote.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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