A Tale Of Two Kayleigh McEnanys, Both Of Whom Are Garbage A-Hole Liars

BOTH OF THEM KATIE.

Kayleigh McEnany is a garbage asshole liar, and we hope after January 20 she gets rejected from every job she applies for, including dog walking, because would you even believe that garbage asshole liar if she said your dog had been outside to pee three times today? No you wouldn't, and you really don't want your dog to explode from lack of potty because Kayleigh McEnany was too busy lying to take it for a walk.

Here are a couple of ways Kayleigh McEnany has been a garbage asshole liar, just in the past couple of days. First of all, this tweet kinda explains it, but have you heard about how Kayleigh McEnany, garbage asshole liar, has been working somehow both as the White House Press Secretary AND ALSO for the Trump campaign? Which seems like it might bring up some legal issues?

Well, worry not, because Kayleigh McEnany, garbage asshole liar, knows which hat she is wearing at all times:

WAIT. When asked about whether Joe Biden will receive access to intelligence briefings, Kayleigh McEnany says, “Tha… https: //t.co/FSoY43WOJd

— The Recount (@The Recount) 1605187433.0 

To recap: On the subject of whether President-elect Joe Biden, who is president-elect because he won the election BY A MOTHERFUCKING LANDSLIDE, will get the intelligence briefings he's supposed to be getting — presumably without the scratch 'n' sniff and booby pictures they have to put on them for President Something Shiny — Kayleigh McEnany, White House press secretary, responded that it was more of a question for the White House . And right now, Kayleigh McEnany, garbage asshole liar, is a TRUMP CAMPAIGN spokesperson. You know, until her next meeting.

Seems legit.

Moving on, because how many times can we type "garbage asshole liar"? (A lot.)

This is the pinned tweet at the top of the garbage asshole liar's feed right now:

(1/6) We have 234 pages of sworn affidavits under penalty of perjury alleging election irregularities from just ONE… https: //t.co/QzYrMPMVUN

— Kayleigh McEnany (@Kayleigh McEnany) 1605129376.0 

She's going on TV holding up giant stacks of paper and going on "Hannity" and tweeting bullshit accusations about fraud and about how voters' birthdates in Michigan are in "1900." (Turns out there's a reason why and it's not a conspiracy, you garbage asshole liar. In Michigan, they use 1/1/1900 as a placeholder birthdate when they don't have the actual birthdate handy.)

Well, David Fahrenthold and his pals at the Washington Post   went through the Trump campaign liars' pages upon pages of affidavits alleging election improprieties in Michigan, and here is what they found:

• A Republican poll watcher lady in Detroit said there was a big man what skeered them.

• And he was wearing Black Lives Matter clothes.

• Somebody else said they called her a "Karen" and told her to "go back to the suburbs."

• It was real loud in there.

• The "union" people were staring at them real mean-like.

• One GOP poll-watching idiot with no more than two brain cells to rub together was just real confused that all these military ballots were for Joe Biden. In Detroit. Under a president who thinks our troops are losers and suckers. "I had always been told that military people tended to be conservative, so this stuck out to me." Because you're an abject moron, sir.

• Another GOP poll-watching idiot just thought all those mail-in ballots looked too nice and un-wrinkly, like they couldn't have POSSIBLY gone through the mail. (People can drop off ballots in Michigan.)

And to be clear, across all the pages of affidavits, there were no actual allegations of fraud. Just whinyass GOP snowflakes, whining. For more on the hilarious clownfuckery in Kayleigh McEnany's stack full-o-papers, check out also this article from the Post . And if you want more after that, Brad Heath read them all and did an excellent thread. Surprise, still no fraud found.

Anyway, the point is that there are two Kayleigh McEnanys (McEnanies? McsEnany?) and one works for the Trump campaign and one works for the White House and they are both garbage asshole liars.

Speaking of garbage asshole liars, Kayleigh McEnany's terrible asshole liar boss Donald Trump tweeted this in ALL CAPS today:

“REPORT: DOMINION DELETED 2.7 MILLION TRUMP VOTES NATIONWIDE. DATA ANALYSIS FINDS 221,000 PENNSYLVANIA VOTES SWITCH… https://t.co/PgrmoBcJib

— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1605198840.0 

Note how quickly Twitter slapped a warning on that lie tweet from the garbage asshole liar, which he sourced through conspiracy windsock clowns Chanel Rion and One America News Network.

If we have to, we'll spend more time debunking the "Dominion voter machines changed the exact number of votes Trump needs to erase to be declared winner and not loser" bullshit in the coming days, but for now let's just go with NOPE * and FUCK YOU, DONALD and GET YOUR VOLUMINOUS USELESS ASS OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE, YOU SAD LOSER.

And take McEnany with you. She's a real garbage asshole. And a liar.

* Link goes to New York Times explanation of NOPE. 

[ Washington Post ]

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