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Oh golly gee, where would we rather be tonight than liveblogging yet another double-header Democratic debate featuring half of the 78,679 candidates running for the Democratic nomination cabinet positions in the presidential administration of Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, Bernie Sanders, or Pete Buttigieg?

Here is a top ten list of where we'd rather be:


1. At this Louisiana food restaurant that just re-opened near our house after we thought it had been killed dead forever, but then it got better.

2. By the pool.

3. By the pool on an island.

4. By the pool on an island administered by Not America, preferably like Roatán or something.

5. On the couch finishing the last season of "Orange Is The New Black."

6. At the gay bar with Justin Trudeau in Canada, because Justin Trudeau went to the gay bar in Canada, but he didn't even take his pants off, RUDE.

7. The Spanish Mediterranean coast might be nice, though it is hot as balls there right now.

8. Wherever Brandi Carlile and The Highwomen are performing right now, especially if Dolly Parton came along for the ride.

Dolly Parton and Brandi Carlile, “I Will Always Love You" www.youtube.com

9. Or hanging out with Lizzo, that would also be cool.

10. Oral surgery might be more pleasant?

BUT WHATEVER, we have to do this goddamned double-header thing one more time, and then theoretically hopefully we pray a bunch of these so-called "Steve Bullocks" will come to their goddamned senses and drop out and when debate time comes 'round again it will be something resembling "sane" and "one night only."

As for tonight!

WHO?

Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Pete Buttigieg, BetoKlobucharTimRyanThreeOtherTimRyans and of course, President Marianne Williamson.

WHAT?

Some bullshit.

WHERE?

Right here on Ye Olde Wonkette, where it will be streaming and we will be saying the jokes. It is a CNN debate, so it will be airing on the CNN, presumably.

WHEN?

8:00 PM Eastern, 7:00 PM Central, pull out your own fucking goddamn abacus and do the math for other time zones if you insist on living in "time zone."

WHY?

Why are there all these candidates spread across two nights? Ego.

The end, we will see you at "time" for "liveblog." Until then, have an open thread!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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