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Hooray! Adam Schiff is going to send a criminal referral to the Department of Justice, alleging that perhaps sadist Blackwater thug trash Erik Prince might have committed a wee spot of treason, we mean perjury when he testified before the House Intelligence Committee. As Attorney General Bill Barr is such a rule-of-law balls-and-strikes kinda guy who definitely hasn't shown himself to be a political hack who exists for little else beyond looking like an idiot and running cover-up ops for Donald Trump and his minions, we're sure he'll get RIGHT ON IT.

"The evidence is so weighty that the Justice Department needs to consider this," Schiff said during a Washington Post Live event.

Yeah, WE KNOW.

Let's take a fresh look at all the Prince lies we know about, because it's never not a good time for that.


We already were well aware that Prince had lied to the committee. We learned that when solid reporting contradicted everything his stupid smug Aryan mouth slit told Congress about his mysterious January 2017 meeting with the Russian money man Kirill Dmitriev in the Seychelles. We were able to learn this because Robert Mueller had nabbed Lebanese-American businessman George Nader, who had served as an emissary to the Saudis and the Emiratis, as a cooperating witness, and he was telling all. So at that point, we learned specifically that the meeting was set up beforehand, that Prince was supposed to meet with the Russian in some sort of unofficial/official capacity as somebody who wasn't on the Trump transition but could be viewed as a representative of it nonetheless. And somehow it had to do with back channels, and appeared to be related to ongoing dingle-dangles between Trumpers and Russians about lifting sanctions on Russia, because EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE FUCKING SANCTIONS.

This was a far cry from what Erik Prince told Congress. We have excerpted Wonkette's executive summary of what Erik Prince said in that testimony many times, but for the sake of efficiency and for LOLs, we will give you that executive summary again. This is basically Prince's testimony to Congress on that meeting, the lying little Aryan fucksack:

Prince says he met with the guy [Dmitriev] because his Emirati pals [on the Seychelles trip] said he should, since the Russian was there to visit with them too. What a lucky duck that the sheik's people invited them both to Seychelles at the same time! Erik Prince's God works in mysterious ways.

And how did Prince's rendezvous with the Russian come about? It was totally chill, bro! One of the sheik's brothers told him to go meet the guy, but didn't personally introduce them. Said he'd be in the bar. So Erik Prince had dinner (he thinks he was by himself), then he went to the bar and asked Jeeves to find a picture of the guy, because the last thing you want to do in Seychelles is start hitting on the wrong Russian dude. (Literally he says he Googled the guy's picture.) He thinks they were alone, but maybe the Russian's wife was there. He can't remember. "I think she was there for the first few minutes, and then she left." Who the fuck knows? Not Erik Prince.

After his ONE BEER WITH THE RUSSIAN, he said "Seacrest out!" and went to the gym, to tone his sexxx body. He remembers that part!

Yeah NOPE.

We can see how the goalposts got moved right there, though, from "it was just a chance meeting!" to "except actually it was pre-planned." Maybe Erik Prince just forgetted!

Except ... yeah NOPE.

To get to the REAL meat of the breathtaking scope of Prince's lies about that Seychelles meeting, one has to go into the Mueller Report, which we can easily do, since we spent three days liveblogging it. Indeed, one of our major takeaways from the report was HOLYFUCK Erik Prince is an even bigger liar than we knew.

Please turn in your Bibles to the second section of Wonkette's Great Big Mueller Liveblog, and let's have a readin'!

On page 148 of Volume One of the Mueller Report, we learn that cooperating witness Nader viewed Kirill Dmitriev as "Putin's interlocutor" in the Gulf States, which means by very definition he's an emissary of Putin's. Dmitriev had specifically been poking around for meetings with transition officials, and somehow was led by the nose to Prince. Nader testified to the grand jury (it's redacted, but it's also completely obvious) that he and Prince had dinner on January 3, 2017, a week before the meeting, and it was there that he and Prince talked about setting up a little quick meety-meet with Dmitriev. And why did Dmitriev just happen to be in the Seychelles a week later, so that Prince might perchance find him in the hotel bar? Because Nader told him to go there to meet with Prince. (p. 151, Mueller, V. 1)

Now -- and again completely contra to what Prince told Congress -- Prince and Dmitriev didn't just meet at the hotel bar on the night of January 11, 2017. According to the Mueller report, their first meeting was that afternoon, in the villa where George Nader was staying. It lasted 30 to 45 minutes. (p. 153)

Do we know what all Prince really got up to with Dmitriev, and how those meetings fit into the full picture of Russian conspiracies with Trumpers? Nope, we're not sure, and neither is Robert Mueller, because Erik Prince's sexts before March 2017 mysteriously went POOF! And Prince told Mueller he briefed Steve Bannon on his Dmitriev meetings when he got home (p. 156) but unfortunately Bannon's sexts also went POOF!

Point is, ERIK PRINCE LIED ABOUT THIS TO CONGRESS. A LOT.

As for other lies Prince told the committee, remember when reporter Mehdi Hasan just fuckin' nailed him on lying to Congress about the second Trump Tower meeting, the one that happened in early August of 2016 and featured Saudi Arabian and Emirati money men and Australian-Israeli private intel dude Joel Zamel offering Donald Trump Jr. plans to ratfuck the election for Daddy? In response, the fucker literally sat there and claimed the House Intelligence Committee's transcript of what he said was lying. And of course, he smirked the whole time, because Erik Prince is a mercenary piece of shit who thinks he's above all the laws.

Rachel Maddow shared a response to Schiff's statement from Prince's counsel on Twitter:

Boy howdy, that there sure is a lawyer response that tells us absolutely no information of any consequence!

As we said above, there's just about zero chance Bill Barr will do anything about this, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't point it out each and every single time it comes up.

LOCK HIM UP.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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