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'Aggressively Humping Me ... Raping My Cell Phone'

Secret agent & Wonkette intern Lauren sends this quickie from the Late Night Shots forum, because she loves you people:


"First date was this past weekend. After dinner and drinks he walks me to my car and kisses me bye. Wowza...it was the kind that leaves you wanting more, but I closed the door like a good girl should and went home. Last night, he invites me to come over and watch a movie. I head over around 9ish. We start a movie and after 10 minutes he starts kissing me. Again, pretty awesome. BUT he starts getting into it more quickly than foreplay normally progresses. The kiss quickly gets uncomfortable as he starts grinding on my leg. Keep in mind I am still sitting up at this point, so he's side humping me. I begin to pull away and he burries his head in my shoulder and starts aggressively humping me! I have no idea what to do, so I just continue to watch the movie over his shoulder. Finally, he got frustrated and quit. I laughed at him and went home completely turned off. Now, he is raping my cell phone and keeps asking when he's going to see me again. Someone please explain what the hell just happened to me! hahaha Who seriously does THAT!?"

[Late Night Shots]

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