Alex Jones Is No Peasant, Cannot Possibly Live On $10K Per Week, He Tells Bankruptcy Court

Alex Jones: Who, me?

Pity poor Alex Jones! First cancel cultured to death by the woke mob, who forced him off Twitter, Facebook, and even Pinterest just because he called the parents of dead children "crisis actors" and accused them of participating in a hoax. Then fined $1.5 billion by juries — as if he hadn't been punished enough already! And now when he seeks protection in the nurturing bosom of the US bankruptcy court, he's being forced to subsist on a meager $10,000 per week. And he can't even use the corporate credit card any more to pay for his housekeeper!

The horror! Won't someone think of Alex Jones's starving children?

We kid, of course. We wouldn't piss on that guy if he were on fire, much less shed tears because he's only being paid $520,000 per year.

Alex Jones has spent quite a lot of time in court lately. There were the Sandy Hook defamation cases in Texas and Connecticut, of course, but Jones and his lawyers have spent a good chunk of time in US Bankruptcy Court in Texas trying to shield his assets from the plaintiffs. His first attempt back in April failed miserably, when he placed three worthless Infowars LLCs in Chapter 11 in an attempt to delay the trials, since a bankruptcy involving a civil litigant automatically stays any proceeding. This gave time for Jone to attempt to basically extort the plaintiffs into settling for a pittance that wouldn't even cover their legal fees. But after the US trustee lambasted the move as an abuse of the court and the plaintiffs dismissed the LLCs from their claims, Jones beat a hasty retreat with his tail between his legs.

His second foray involved Infowars's parent company, Free Speech System LLC (FSS), which claimed to be bankrupt based on a recently "discovered" $55 million debt for trucker speed already delivered to PQPR, a Nevada LCC. Right around the time Jones's refusal to cooperate with discovery in the tort cases got him default judgments — meaning his culpability was a fact, and the trials were simply to determine how big a check he was going to have to cut — FSS executed a series of promissory notes securitizing the debt to PQPR. That put PQPR ahead of every other creditor in line to get paid, which was probably not a coincidence, since Jones and his parents own PQPR in its entirety. Surprise!

The Sandy Hook plaintiffs raised holy hell, calling the debt fraudulent and accusing Jones of looting the company of cash in preparation for litigation. Then after the verdicts came down Jones demanded that the company indemnify him for any judgments arising from horrible defamatory shit he said on the air. And after a protracted drama where US Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Lopez booted the first team of lawyers and proposed restructuring officers off the case, the court deputized the US Trustee, who has already thrown major shade at Jones's claims about the company's finances, to investigate the company's books, particularly the PQPR notes.

Meanwhile, with FSS in bankruptcy, Jones was theoretically on the hook for the entire damages award. So he's now filed for personal bankruptcy to protect his assets, which he claims are less than $12 million. And while Your Wonkette is not in a position to evaluate the truth of that claim, we will note that there is money somewhere, since his lawyer is being paid a $500,000 retainer from something called “The Missouri779384 Trust.”

As demonstrated during the first two trials, the internal accounting system at FSS left much to be desired. Like, for instance, an actual internal accounting system. But never fear! In a status report 10 days ago, Jones assured the court that he is
in the process of hiring and educating a reputable financial advisor to assist him with getting all details of past and present transactions organized and reported.

First lesson: DO UR OWN RESEARCHES! Probably.

Also, if you think about it, isn't Alex Jones the real victim here?

In addition to the overwhelming cost of the litigation with the Plaintiffs (estimated to exceed $13 million), Jones has incurred multiple other related legal costs. Furthermore, Jones’s attention over last few years has been focused on his talk show and his family, and thus his personal finances, somewhat disorganized, are being reviewed and analyzed to ensure clarity and integrity of information going forward. Jones and FSS lost a great deal of money trusting people who did not have the ability or the character to handle the finances.

Jones also included an unsubtle threat to drag the appeals out forever if the Sandy Hook plaintiffs refuse to take a major haircut on their claims:

It is practically and functionally impossible for a human being who has less than $12 million in assets, who makes less than $2 million a year from the FSS business, to pay over $1.5 billion in debt. So, while Jones comes to this Court in good faith and wants to reach an amicable resolution between all the parties, it is imperative that all parties do the same. Any argument that Jones must give up his public life, or discontinue public discourse is contrary to supporting his ability to fund a plan and pay creditors, leaving Jones with limited options.

Since then, Jones has requested to join his bankruptcy with FSS, of which he is the sole owner. He'd also like to stay any appeals and slow the FSS proceedings down to synchronize it with his own. You know, for administrative efficiency, LOL. Unsurprisingly, the Sandy Hook plaintiffs would like not that.

And yesterday Jones filed a motion in the FSS bankruptcy objecting to the haircut the court made him take on his salary, reducing it to a mere $40,000 per month.

"On or about April 14, 2022, FSS and Jones executed an Employment Agreement (the “Agreement”), under which FSS agreed to pay Jones the annual salary of $1,300,000.00 via twenty-four biweekly payments, each in the amount of $54,166.67," he writes, demanding to be paid in full.

And furthermore, he demands to be reimbursed for "for expenses, including travel, meals, lodging, and cell phone costs, incurred in the course of his employment," with full discretion to determine what expenses can be shunted off onto the company vested in himself.

To summarize: Alex Jones owns PQPR. Alex Jones own FSS. FSS owes millions of dollars to PQPR and Jones. But Alex Jones has no money, and he can't possibly live on $520,000 per year. Also, the Sandy Hook plaintiffs can't get paid, because FSS owes $55 million to poor, destitute Alex Jones. And everything is 100 percent on the up and up here.

So, we're cool, right?

[Alex Jones Bankruptcy, Docket via Court Listener / Free Speech Systems LLC Bankruptcy, Docket via Court Listener]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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