We've been getting multiple reports of Michael Douglas sightings and understand that he's in town to make a movie of some kind. You know what that means: Eventually, we will see his ass. Contemplating this thought made our minds turn to film criticism in general and we asked our own Fred Becker if he's seen anything good lately:

Salutem Plurimam Wonkette,

 

Before joining my other GS-9 colleagues here at the Department of Homeland Security (today is Burnt Umber Friday) I was browsing what the man whose picture is in the lobby likes to call the webonator. I saw on the Drudge Report that Oliver Stone is starting to resemble Mr. Bush: He is blaming others for his failures.

Fred's thoughts continue after the jump.

Stone says the youth of America just didn’t understand his movie "Alexander." He says, "Because of BRAVEHEART, I think kids see ancient times as, 'Hey man, that's violence!' They don't see it as separate cultures that in some cases had stronger values than ours.”

He also could have said that Alexander achieved the Olympian goal known as “the worst film in recorded time,” not even the Greeks could make a worse film. Of course, if they made any film at all that would be a great achievement. In any case, it is the first film about Alexander the Great in which he is Irish however, which is nice. That should make the attack by the Danes in Stone's 9/11 film very compelling.

I am shutting down this horrible machine. Until I hit the on button again, or kindle more coal to light its fires I remain,

 Herniated form lugging unfocused scorn,

 Fred

STONE BLAMES ALEXANDER RECEPTION ON AMERICAN YOUTH [Contact Music]