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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Not Even Walking Around Congress Like A Dickensian Street Urchin

Congress

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's first days in Congress have been a doozie. She's been "mistaken" for an intern or a spouse on multiple occasions, everyone's making up pretend fights that she's getting in with people she's not actually getting into fights with, and she's still somehow not performing poverty well enough to convince Fox News and other conservatives that she is not a secret billionaire.

On Wednesday, Fox News published an exposé on AOC and her vast riches -- showing that even though she said that it was going to be tough to afford an apartment in DC for the three months before she'd receive a salary, she was actually a fifteen thousandaire.

If she converted that $15K into pennies, she could probably swim in them, just like her fellow rich person Scrooge McDuck.


As if that wasn't enough, AOC had the gall to flit around Congress in human clothes, probably from some ritzy store like T.J. Maxx, rather than in a barrel held up with suspenders, and shoes that looked nothing at all like bread bags or Kleenex boxes. And the Washington Examiner's Eddie Scarry, noted photographer of women's butts, was ON IT.

The tweet, after getting ratioed straight to hell, has since been deleted, and despite trying to defend it at first, Scarry is now claiming that everyone took it entirely out of context.

It was, after all, hardly the first time Scarry had been a total creeper.

Not a bunion.

Personally, I hope the Right keeps on with this narrative. I hope they push it real hard, because it is an incredibly bad look for them. It's like they're doing our work for us! As gross as America is about class issues, as much many people are comfortable with pretending we have no class issues in the first place, a lot of rich people tend to vastly overestimate how much most Americans will embrace people being openly gross about people not having money. There's a line. Hell, there are a lot of people who vote Democrat who don't fully grasp that. It's why, even though I've made them myself, I'm not entirely comfortable with the jokes about "economic anxiety." Just because people were saying "economic anxiety" when they really meant racism, that doesn't mean it's not an actual thing on its own, apart from that, and I worry that it comes across as "people are stupid for being worried about their economic situation."

Much has also been made this week -- from both the Right and the Left -- of how Ocasio-Cortez is being some kind of l'enfant terrible, going around being a jerk to established pols like Nancy Pelosi and Frank Pallone.

Headlines blared about her joining in a "protest" at Pelosi's office, coming in and snottily demanding that Pelosi do things that she was already going to do anyway! Except you know who actually didn't see things that way? Nancy Pelosi herself.

Politico ran a story about how AOC supposedly barged into poor incoming Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman Frank Pallone's office to yell at him about climate change ... an incident which does not appear to have actually happened.

LET THE WOMAN FUCKING LIVE, JESUS.

Ocasio-Cortez is going to be a target, precisely because she's so popular. She's going to be a target on the Right because she -- unlike Donald Trump -- actually is a working class American. She's going to be a target for some on the Left because she associates with Bernie Sanders. There are people who feel like just hasn't earned the right to be as popular and well liked as she is yet and that it's unfair that people are excited about her instead of the people they would prefer everyone be excited about. I am pleading with you, anti-Berners -- back the fuck off on this. It is a bad look. Just be happy that people are jazzed. It's a good thing! We want people to be jazzed! If she does something truly horrible, if she murders Nancy Pelosi (who, again, has no problem with her!) in her sleep -- then I promise you we can cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, let's all try to focus on winning in 2020 rather than re-litigating 2016.

[Twitter]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Good morning, America! Attorney General Bill Barr is doing a presser at 9:30 AM EDT about the Mueller report, which nobody will be able to see until around noon or after, once Congress gets the redacted report on CDs. Seeing as that is bullshit, there's no reason to watch this thing, as journalists won't be able to ask him questions about a document they haven't seen. So ... go back to bed, everyone!

Ugh, fine, we guess we will do this, and that is because we care, even though we are quite certain HGTV is doing some kind of very important "Property Brothers" marathon that adds much more of value to the national discourse, and also covers it up with shiplap accent walls. Does Bill Barr do cover-ups with shiplap? No, because he doesn't have the good taste for that.

Reportedly, we are going to hear from Barr why certain things were redacted, including why he thinks certain facts are subject to executive privilege, which is funny because he is not the president and therefore cannot invoke executive privilege. But oh whatever! Details! Robert Mueller won't be there and none of his team will be there, which tells you something about how they feel about this whole process. If they felt like this was on the up-and-up, you'd imagine they might show up to present a united front. As that is not happening, assume the entire thing is a bullshit act meant to help Donald Trump set the narrative for what will otherwise be a very bad day for him.

The New York Times reported last night that the White House has already been briefed on significant portions of the report, because Bill Barr is a rightwing scam artist piece of shit who gives the Trump White House reacharounds. The briefings have reportedly been very helpful for the White House in coming up with how to rebut today's report, which is funny because we thought Trump said this report was a full exoneration, NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION. (Actually nope on both counts, since Mueller didn't decide the obstruction question, and even according to Barr's mash notes, he took a very limited view of the conspiracy question, focusing on the Russian government's hack and dump WikiLeaks operation.)

Anyway, assuming Trump is right about full exoneration, we guess Rudy Giuliani's rebuttal will state that Trump is guilty, full stop. Because that's what "rebuttal" means, correct?

Committee chairs in the House including Jerry Nadler, Adam Schiff and Maxine Waters have called upon Bill Barr to cancel today's briefing, as it is useless horseshit. Because Barr literally gives zero fucks about his reputation and apparently is OK with going down in history as a fecal stain on our institutions and the rule of law, the show will go on.

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Now What? Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 18, 2019

Bill Barr's book report, the NRA is doomed, and Johnny Cash will watch over the Capitol. Your morning news brief!

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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