All Hail President Romney!

Who the hell is John Cox? - WonketteMitt Romney won the Iowa Straw Poll everyone! And that means even less this year than it does most other years! According to the Post (who got their number from an unnamed campaign), Romney spent $817 on each vote he received this weekend. Romney committed not just money, but also manpower: "On Saturday, Team Romney counted more than 90 family members in the state." Exactly where they should be for the good of the country!

Mike Huckabee, who's primary qualification for the office of president is that he used to be fat and is now less fat, came in second, which he seems to think is pretty much just as good as first, and he was all over the TV Sunday talking about how Iowans love his wacky sense of humor and adequate bass skills and general not-fatness.

Rudy, Thompson, and Walnuts declined to participate, as they were all busy funding abortions in Hollywood.

If Romney doesn't go on to become our most successful President ever, Republicans will stop pretending to care about Iowa for even those couple months each four years they're now obligated to.

Ron Paul came in fifth, by the way, because this poll took place in something resembling real life, and not the internet. Still, his showing was strong enough to embarrass Tommy Thompson into dropping out.

Iowans Feel Snubbed, but Will It Matter? [WP]


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