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Did you hear? The DNC has released the line-up for the double-header first Democratic primary debates on June 26 and 27! It's 10 candidates each night, because there are 20 of them who qualified, and you can look at the match-ups here if you'd like. Elizabeth Warren is debating the kids' table on the first night, which will either give her a chance to shine, or nobody will watch. All the other important people -- Biden, Bernie, Buttigieg, Kamala, Oprah's guru Marianne Williamson AKA OUR NEXT PRESIDENT, OBVIOUSLY -- are on the second night, so that should be fun.

But, of course, there are a handful of people who didn't qualify for any of it, and one of them in particular will not stop bitching about it. We are talking about Montana Governor Jim J. Steve Bullock (see? we don't even know what his fucking name is), who Johnny-Come-Lately-ed into the party and now he's mad that he didn't qualify under the rules every other candidate had to play by. He is saying "whine" about how he's a really popular governor who won in a Trump state (true!) and "whine!" the polls wuz #rigged (yeah nope) and "WHINE!" he didn't have time to run for president because he was protecting Medicaid expansion in Montana's batshit legislative session (awesome!) and therefore it's NO FAIR that he doesn't get to debate.

He even released an ad featuring a Montanan called "Jock," who says jumpin' Jehoshaphat, this is all "HORSESHIT."


Really? www.youtube.com

Dude? Shut UP.

(We are not talking to you, "Jock." You may talk.)

Bullock, we get that you had 'portant things to do in Montana, and that is all cool beans and stuff -- and the Medicaid expansion will continue to help lots of people! -- but you know what voters really like for a first impression? Whining. Wait, no, it is the opposite of that!

See that thoroughly unkind butthole-mouthed screengrab up there? That's what Wonkette does to people who are annoying us with all their bitching. We also give them nicknames like "Steve Buttock." Is that what you want, butthole-mouthed Steve Buttock?

What we are saying is that it's great ("great") that Steve Bullock wants to run for president. (No we don't.) Hooray. But for Christ's sake, this is the first Democratic debate out of seventy eleventy to come, and 14 of these motherfuckers are going to drop out by Christmas. Wanna get in it for the long haul? THEN STOP WHINING, STEVE.

In summary and in conclusion, go run for the Senate, unless you can't qualify for that debate either because you lost track of time feeding your cat or whatever.

Steve Buttock.

OPEN THREAD, YOU HAVE ONE NOW!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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